F 71* 
CH R32 



Copy 






'■... 



ty 



9 



/SJ-, 





CONVENT, • 

VE OP S 



REBECCA THERESA REED, 

WHO WAS UNDER THE INFLUENCE OF THE ROMAN CATHO- 
LICS ABOUT TWO YEARS, AND AN INMATE 
^A OF THE URSULINE CONVENT ^ 

*Z*S?4*Z> &£&*/^ <^&*Z 

JBount 33eneMct, <£!)arlestoton, |Wass. t 

NEARLY SIS. MONTHS, IN THE YEARS 1331-2. 



WITH SOME PRELIMINARY SUGG ESTIONS BY 
THE COMMITTEE OF PUBLICATION. 



BOSTON : 
RUSSELL, ODIORNE & METCALF- 

NEW-YORK, NELSON HALL, JOHN ST. ; PHILADELPHIA, WILLIAM 

MARSHALL AND CO. ; CINCINNATI, C. P. BARNES; AND ALL 

THE PRINCIPAL EOOKSELLERS IN THE V. STATES. 



1835. 






* - I 






ENTERED ACCORDING TO ACT OF CONGRESS, IN THE YEAR 
1835, BY RUSSELL, ODIORNE AND METCALF, IN THE CLERK'S 
OFFICE OF THE DISTRICT COURT OF MASSACHUSETTS. 



Stereotyped hj Sheriard, 01i»er & Uo, 



PRELIMINARY SUGGESTIONS 
FOR CANDID READERS. 



It is related in the history of the Reformation, that 
about the middle of the year 1 520, Martin Luther published 
in his native language a little treatise, in which he ad- 
dressed the emperor and German nobility on the necessity 
of a reformation in the church. Some friends of Luther, 
however, there were, who were startled at the boldness of 
the publication, and considered it as the signal for 
war ; but the more thinking and judicious part of mankind 
looked on this measure as the wisest step which, even in 
a merely worldly and prudential light, could possibly have 
been taken to render contemptible and abortive the ex- 
pected fulmination of the Roman court. 

This little treatise was the origin of that immense move- 
ment in public sentiment, the Protestant reform in the 
church. No sooner was it known, than Leo X. issued 
that famous damnatory bull against Luther, which in the 
event proved so fatal to the established hierarchy. The 
writings of Luther, though at that period they were of a 
mild and persuasive character, were condemned as hereti- 
cal, scandalous, and offensive to pious ears ; all persons 
were forbidden to read them upon pain of excommunica- 
tion ; such as had any in their custody were commandea to 
burn them ; and he himself, if he did not in sixty days send 
or bring his retraction to Rome, was pronounced an obsti- 
nate heretic, was excommunicated, and delivered unto Sa- 
tan for the destruction of his flesh. 

We do not propose to institute a grave comparison be- 
tween Luther's little treatise in the sixteenth century and 
the Narrative of a six months' residence in a Convent in the 
nineteenth century, but there are some points of resem- 



4 INTRODUCTION. 

hlance in the treatment of the two cases that are not 
altogether unapt. 

In August, 1831, a young lady, then eighteen years of age, 
a daughter of one of our fellow-citizens residing in Charles- 
town, became an inmate of the Community of Nuns esta- 
blished at Mount Benedict in that town, and voluntarily 
submitted for some time to a course of study aud disci- 
pline designed to prepare her to become a teacher in the 
Convent, and a religious recluse for life of the Ursuhne 
order. After a residence of about six months, she be- 
came dissatisfied with the religious profession she had em- 
braced, and desired to return to her friends, against whose 
wishes she had renounced the Protestant for the Catholic 
faith. Having sufficient reason for believing that her re- 
turn to the world would be opposed, and having no means 
of communicating with her friends, she made her escape. 
without the knowledge of the Superior of the Convent, and 
was restored to her former friends and her former religion. 
Soon after leaving the Convent, she became a member 
of Christ Church in Boston, of the Episcopal order, of 
which Rev. Mr. Croswell was rector. Her departure 
from the Convent happened in February, 1832., and in Au- 
gust, 1334, two years and five months having elapsed, the 
Ursuline Convent was burnt to the ground by a lawless 
mob. Since the commission of this outrage, a most cruel 
attempt has been made by ihe friends of the Convent to 
connect it with the young lady who escaped from the Nun- 
nery in 1832, and who, from that period up to the time of 
the riot in Charlestown, had been living in retirement, with 
no wish, and with no possible means to produce an excite- 
ment against that institution. In fact, it will be seen in 
the course of these suggestions, that abundant causes to 
account for the popular excitement against the Convent 
bad occurred immediately preceding its destruction, with- 
out any possible connection with the isolated fact that a 
Joung girl had left the institution two years and a half be- 
bre, and had given to her immediate "friends a narrative 
of the events which she witnessed there. Nevertheless, 
the fact that the young lady had committed such a narra- 
tive to writing, soon after she left the Convent, (although 
that fact was known to hut very few persons, including her 
pastor and her immediate friends and advisers,) was mag- 
nified into very great importance, after the Convent was 



INTRODUCTION. 5 

burnt. For nearly a year before that event, the manuscript 
of this Narrative (containing every fact precisely as it is now 
published) had remained undisturbed in the hands of the re- 
verend gentleman of whose church Miss R. had become a 
member, after renouncing the Roman Catholic faith; and 
whatever intention there might have originally been of 
giving it publicity, all such intention had been abandoned. 
It would seem, therefore, to have required the utmost inge- 
nuity of motive hunters, to have traced the burning of the 
Ursuline Convent in 1834 to a narrative of a six months' 
residence there in 1831, which a young girl had written 
two years before, and which had been seen in manuscript 
only hy a very limited number of her friends. 

But strange as it will be considered, on due reflection, 
the " little treatise" published by Martin Luther, in 1520, 
was not more terribly denounced by the Pope and his 
spiritual subjects, than has been the simple manuscript 
narrative of Miss R.,in 1832, by ihe Catholics and their 
friends in this quarter. Even many of the apparent friends 
of truth, and of the religion of the New Testament, will no 
doubt be as much startled at the boldness of our presuming 
to publish this little Narrative, and will consider it " the 
signal for war," quite as seriously, and just as wisely, as 
did some of the friends of Luther, when he gave his first 
account of abuses and follies he had himself witnessed in. 
the Monasteries and Convents of that day. And be it re- 
membered too, that the statements of Luther for some time 
rested on his individual assertions against the whole 
hierarchy of Rome. Had Christians believed the Priests 
and discredited Luther, where would have been the Re- 
formation ? Shall then Christians of the present day, 
Christian parents who have daughters to educate, disbe- 
lieve the narrative of a residence in a modern Convent, 
made by a convert from that order, merely because in mat- 
ters of fact which only she and the Catholic community at 
the institution could have witnessed, the latter attempt to 
discredit her testimony ? Would they not do so of course, 
if the disclosure of the truth must open the eyes of Protes- 
tants, so as to convince them of the impropriety of intrust- 
ing the education of their daughters to a secret and super- 
stitious community of Catholic Priests and Nuns? 

It is in the hope that the truth will prevail, that we have 
advised the publication of thie Narrative, which, just like 



6 INTRODUCTION. 

the little treatise of Luther, has been denounced and con- 
demned by those who know nothing of its real contents, 
as " heretical, scandalous, and offensive to pious ears." 
We doubt not that when it is published, that portion of the 
community and the press who have made up their minds 
to listen to nothing against the infallibility ofUrsuline 
Convents to educate Protestant daughters, will not, in their 
denunciations, be a whit behind the damnatory bull of 
Pope Leo X. against Luther, for publishing his " little 
treatise." All persons will be forbidden to read and be- 
lieve the " little" Narrative about the Convent, under pain 
of being held up to public odium as among the rioters, or 
at least abettors of the riot, which led to the destruction 
of the Nunnery at Mount Benedict. Even pious men and 
women will be so eager to show their religious tolerance 
and Christian chanty for Catholic Nunneries, that they 
will labor with all thei^ might to destroy the character of 
an American Protestant girl, who has escaped from Catho- 
lic superstition ; in order to maintain the infallible purity 
of a secret community of foreign females, who have intro- 
duced among us for the imitation of the daughters of re- 
publicans, the ascetic austerities of a religious discipline 
destructive of all domestic and social relations. 

As to those who have advised this publication, and who 
venture to doubt the infallibility of Convents in 1S.J5, as 
Luther did the infallibility of the Pope in 1520, we antici- 
pate, as a matter of course, from a portion of the commu- 
nity, all manner of denunciations and excommunications, 
as " obstinate heretics, fit only to be delivered unto Satan 
for the destruction of the flesh." Nevertheless, we veiy 
conscientiously believe that it is as much our duty to give 
this " little" Narrative of Convent discipline to the Chris- 
tian public, as it was the duty of Luther to publish his 
"little treatise" three hundred years ago. We earnestly 
desire that the public may discriminate between the Ro- 
man Catholic religion and a Roman Catholic school to 
educate daughters of Protestants, and that they will not 
longer confound religious toleration with the encourage- 
ment of monastic seminaries of learning. We regard 
this matter as more immediately connected with the great 
interests of education among us, than it is with the ad- 
vancement of pure and undefiled religion. It is not a 
question of creeds and sects, hut it is a grave question how 



INTRODUCTION. 7 

the future ornaments to our most refined society, the future 
accomplished mothers of American citizens, shall be edu- 
cated. We ask, in this view, is it not a startling fact, that 
here in the town of Charle?town,in the immediate vicinity 
of Boston, celebrated above all other communities for its 
means of giving a Christian and a republican education to 
its children, the aid of a foreign, ascetic, superstitious, anti- 
republican institution should have been Galled in, esta- 
blished solely by Roman Catholics, who have taken reli- 
vious vows of" poverty," and yet hold out public induce- 
ments and charge the highest prices for educating the 
daughters of wealthy parents of that class of Christians 
whom " all good Catholics" regard as heretics, who must 
inevitably be damned unless they are converted to the only 
true faith ! 

It is high time that a little common sense was applied to 
the estimate of the motives and objects of Roman Catho- 
lic monastic institutions for educating Protestant chil- 
dren ! Many of our most influential citizens seem to be 
preparing the public to abandon all Protestant schools, and 
send their daughters to be educated in Roman Catholic 
Cloisters. The next step may be, that whenever a young 
girl, thus educated, is crossed in love, or disappointed in 
securing a fashionable establishment in marriage, she will 
turn Nun, and take the vows of the Ursuline order ; and 
wealthy parents, who have more daughters than they ca:i 
portion in the style they have been brought up, may find it 
convenient to persuade the least beautiful to take the veil. 
Such things are common among the aristocracies of Europe. 
Why may they not be introduced here, if public opinion is 
found to favor the establishment of Convents? 

The highly respectable Committee appointed by the citi- 
zens of Boston, not to eulogize the Convent, but solely " to 
investiga^ the p"oceedings of the night of the riot, and to 
adopt every suitable mode of bringing the authors and 
abettors of the outrage to justice," say in their elaborate 
vindication of that institution, that " the number of pupils 
has varied from forty to sixty, during each of the past five 
years, being for the most part daughters of those among 
the most respectable families in the country, of various re- 
ligious denominations, the number of Catholics never ex- 
ceeding ten at any one time. No means were taken (say 
the Committee) to influence or affect their religious opt- 



8 INTRODUCTION. 

nions, nor can it be ascertained that any pupil placed under 
their charge for the purposes of education has been con- 
verted from any other to the Catholie faith, or induced to 
become a member of the Community." 

The Superior of the Convent, in her testimony on the 
trial *f the rioters, declared that the vows of her religious 
order are " poverty, chastity, and obedience ; to separate 
themselves from the world, and to follow the instructions 
of the Superior." She also testified that the institution at 
Mount Benedict was supported by the profits of the school ; 
that it was out of debt, and all the property paid for, be- 
sides more than a thousand dollars in cash in her private 
drawer, which she had not counted for a year! (an evi- 
dence of " poverty," by the way, which most people who 
take no vows to become paupers would rejoice to have in 
their possession.) She further testified that there were no 
funds but those arising from the pupils, and that she and 
her sisters in the Ursuline Community were supported out 
of that fund ; this whole " Community," so supported, con- 
sisting of" eight Nuns and two Novices at the Convent." 

Both the Superior and the Bishop testified that the pro- 
perty of the Nunnery which was destroyed amountea to 
fifty thousand dollars, exclusive of the real estate and ap- 
purtenances. 

Now put these facts together, and what are we called on to 
believe .' Why, that a capital of at least sixty thousand 
dollars (which invested in stocks would have yielded a 
revenue of three thousand six hundred dollars annually) 
was set apart and put into the splendid and sumptuous esta- 
blishment at Mount Benedict, for the purpose of supporting 
ten females who had taken on themselves vows of poverty, 
and also for the purpose of educating ten Roman Catholic 
children! Was there ever greater disparity between means 
employed and the professed ends lor which those means 
are said to be employed ? 

The Nunnery, therefore, could not have been designed 
merely as a family residence, or as a place of worship for 
ten females under" vows of " poverty," nor could so exten- 
sive an institution have been erected to educate ten Catho- 
lic children. Neither could the Nuns themselves be am- 
bitious of public distinction as eminent teachers, for they 
had vowea " to separate themselves from the world!" 

The primary object, then, must have been, not to provide 



INTRODUCTION. 9 

a place for the religious devotion of Roman Catholics, but 
to establish a seminary for the education of the daughters 
of Protestants. This is proved by the public advertise- 
ments of the Superior, and the agencies established in New- 
Orleans and other cities, to procure Protesta.it pupils for 
the Charlestown Nunnery. If then it was a mere school, 
it has no claim to sanctity, and should be open to examina- 
tion, like the schools of Protestants. We protest against 
claiming religious sanctity for a school for girls. If the 
Nunnery was a place for disseminating the Roman Catho- 
lic religion, then the children of Protestants should not be 
sent there to learn that religion. But if it was a school to 
educate Protestant girls, then the whole interior discipline 
of both pupils and teachers ought to be known. 

But why should Roman Catholics establish so costly a 
seminary in the vicinity of Boston, to educate the daughters 
of Protestants ? Could it have originated in the disinte- 
rested benevolence of a foreign lady, brought up in the se- 
clusion of a Convent in Canada, who, with her five sisters 
similarly educated, should have taken such a deep interest 
in the young ladies of Boston and the United States, as to 
form so extensive an establishment to enable them to obtain 
an accomplished education ? 

Or could the intelligent Catholic Bishop of Boston have 
been so deeply impressed with the total neglect of female 
education in Boston and its vicinity, as to be at all this 
trouble and expense for the sole benefit of the daughters 
of heretics, without the least design, as the Boston Com- 
mittee affirm, to use the slightest means to influence or 
affect their religious opinions ? Neither the Bishop nor the 
Superior could have looked to this establishment as a 
source of pecuniary profit, because that would be to compel 
the Nuns to become teachers for filthy lucre, and thus vio- 
late their vow of" poverty !" 

If, then, no mercenary views were connected with the 
establishment of the Nunnery, and there was no lack of 
good Protestant schools for Protestant females, (certainly 
much better than the Nunnery proved to be,) where was 
the motive? "It was disinterested benevolence!" say 
the friends of the Convent. Perhaps we could have be- 
lieved it was, if the avowed object of the institution had 
been to convert the children of heretics to the true faith, in 
order to save them from eternal destruction. Look at it in 



10 INTRODUCTION. 

this view a moment. Here were eight females having 1 the 
charge of fifty amiable and interesting girls, and believing 
on their souls that every one of these cnildren were misera- 
ble heretics, who must be damned to all eternity, unless 
they embraced the Roman Catholic faith ! If the Superior 
and her Nuns did not honestly believe this, then their reli- 
gion is a cheat or they were hypocrites. We draw no such 
conclusion, but doubt not they sincerely believed the infal- 
lible creed of" mother church," that these children, with 
all their winning attractions, must inevitably be shut out 
of all hopes of heaven, unless they were converted to Ro- 
manism. Could pious and benevolent ladies, day after 
day, and year after year, see their own children, as it were, 
placed in this awful peril, and not make an effort to save 
them from eternal destruction? What should we say of a 

Eious clergyman, at the head of a seminary, who should 
ave fifty boys in his school, whose parents had brought 
them up to deny God and ridicule the Scriptures, and yet 
he should boast publicly that he had " taken no means to 
influence or q^ecMheir religious opinions," and had " never 
exacted their attendance upon religious services ?" Is not 
this the Tight in which the Boston Committee represent the 
Superior of the Convent and the Bishop, if they really have 
made no effort, for five years, to save the precious souls of 
fifty interesting female children, intrusted by heretics to 
their paternal care ? 

Most assuredly it is; and if what they say of the Con- 
vent in this particular he true, it takes away the last pos- 
sible pretence for getting up that institution — benevolence. 
Had the Superior or the Bishop suffered one of the Protes- 
tant pupils to have walked in her sleep out of the window, 
and lost b^r life, when timely caution might have prevented 
it, wifh what horror the community would have heard of 
such an outrage. And yet the Boston Committee ask us 
to believe that all the Priests and Nuns at the Convent 
religiously believed that the fifty children they had under 
their daily care were walking "in the sleep of spiritual 
death, liable every moment to fall into eternal perdition, 
but they would not reach forth a hand to save them ! " No 
means were taken to influence or affect their religious opi- 
nions!" It seems to us that it would be more honorable 
to the establishment at Mount Benedict, to prove that it 
was designed to save the daughters of heretics from perdi- 



INTRODUCT ION. 11 

tion, by making them good Catholics ; and in point ot fact 
we believe the Committee were mistaken. There are pu- 
pils from the Nunnery who declare that serious attempts 
were made to affect their religious opinions ; and in truth 
could it possibly be otherwise, with ingenuous girls, living 
in the romantic atmosphere of a Roman Catholic Nunne- 
ry, with all the mvsterious and externally imposing cere- 
monies of that religion constantly passing before their 
eyes and ears, in a portion of which they daily partici- 
pated ? If any one desired to possess the power of giving 
a color to the impressions of after life, would he ask for 
better means than these ? 

If then the object of establishing Catholic Nunneries to 
educate Protestant girls is neither pecuniary profit, world- 
ly honor, or disinterested benevolence, is it uncharitable to 
conjecture that the real design must he to give to Catholics 
a controlling influence over the minds of our youth, and 
disseminate their tenets, by an imperceptible, winning way 
of not seeming to disseminate them at all ? At any rale, 
as the education of our daughters is a matter of such vital 
importance to the purity of society, can we know too much 
of the interior discipline of an institution in which they 
have been placed without their parents ever being permit- 
ted to enter any part of the school or the Nunnery, except 
a common visiting parlor to which the pupils and their 
instructers are called, whenever they are seen by the pub- 
lic eye ? 

These are some of the considerations which have led to 
the publication of the unpretending narrative that will be 
found in this little book. It has been committed to the 
press after a long, deliberate, and, we may add, prayerful 
consideration of the dictates of justice, truth, and religion. 
The existence of such a narrative in manuscript, and vari- 
ous and unfounded speculations as to the nature of its 
contents, have been connected with the destruction of the 
Convent, and have given rise to many injurious and un- 
kind misrepresentations of the motives of its author, ever 
since that outrage was committed. Individuals in private, 
and committees in public reports, have made the sup- 
posed contents of this narrative the basis of a formidable 
"conspiracy, extending into many of the neighboring 
towns," resulting in the final burning of the Convent, on 
the 11th of August, 1S34. Others have supposed that it 



12 INTRODUCTION. 

would disclose terrible scenes of personal profligacy and 
inquisitorial tortures : but both classes who have so 
judged have entirely misapprehended the character of the 
narrative, and of its author. Under these contradictory 
impressions, one portion of the community have been 
urging the immediate publication of the Narrative, while 
others have threatened its author, and those who should 
undertake its publication, with a worse excommunication 
and denunciation than was inflicted upon Luther for his 
temerity. Nevertheless, " the more thinking and judicious 
part of mankind," who have had an opportunity of learn- 
ing the facts, have " looked upon the publication" of the 
whole matter " as the wisest step, even in a worldly and 
prudential light, which could possibly be taken to render 
contemptible and abortive" the attempts that have been 
made and are still making to silence the press, to condemn 
all who condemn Convents, and to injure the peace of 
mind and destroy the delicate reputation of the daughter 
of one of our native citizens, in order to justify a foreign 
institution established among us under the control of a 
hierarchy adverse to a republican form of government. 

We have not believed that it became American Chris- 
tians or American citizens to offer up, on the altar of a 
Roman Catholic Convent, the character of one of our own 
unoffending daughters, who, after having been drawn into 
the Romish Church, by the exterior romautic attractions 
of a Nunnery patronized by Protestants, has had the 
Christian fortitude to escape from the dark meshes in 
which her mind had been entangled, and to disclose, in 
the simple language of truth, all that she saw, heard, and 
felt, while under this delusion. From a careful examina- 
tion of this subject, we are led to view it as a remarkable 
evidence of conscious innocence and integrity, as well as 
piety and firmness, that a young and delicate female, 
of timid and retiring habits, of extreme sensibility, and 
with her health seriously impaired by religious auste- 
rities and seclusion, should have been enabled to main- 
tain so much consistency, mildness, and propriety in 
all she has said, written, or done in relation to her con- 
nection with the Ursuline Convent : and that too when 
much of the weahh and talent of this great city has been 
enlisted in defending and eulogizing that establishment, 
and in denouncing as participators in or approvers of the 



INTRODUCTION. 13 

riot, all who called in question the sanctity of its inmates, 
and the propriety of Protestants sending their daughters 
there. We have never discovered in the feelings or lan- 
guage of Miss R. the slightest indication of resentment 
toward that Community or its Superior, nor will it be de- 
tected in any portion of her Narrative, which it seems to 
us no person of an unbiased mind can peruse without feel- 
ing a conviction not to be resisted, that it is the unaffected 
language of truth and innocence. 

The circumstances under which this relation of a six 
months' residence in the Ursuline Convent at Charlestown, 
was originally prepared, and which have led to its present 
publication, are material in forming an estimate of the 
degree of credit that may confidently be attached to it. 
We wish it to be distinctly understood that the publication 
is not made at the instigation, or on the responsibility of 
the author. On the contrary, she has very reluctantly 
yielded to the force of circumstances and the dictates of 
duty, which, in the opinion of her friends and the friends 
of truth, have left no other course proper to be pursued : 
and has placed her manuscript at their disposal. If then 
there is an error of judgment in giving this work publicity, 
it belongs to the friends of Miss R., and to many of our 
most sedate and respectable citizens who have advised 
with them, and not to herself. The design of the publica- 
tion on our part, is to vindicate her from unjust and un- 
manly aspersions which some friends of the Convent have 
indulged in toward her, and especially to advance the 
cause of truth. We earnestly hope anil believe that this 
little work, if universally diffused, will do more, by its 
unaffected simplicity, in deterring Protestant parents from 
educating their daughters at Catholic Nu.ineries, than 
could the most labored and learned discourses on the dan- 
gers of Popery. And if it has this blessed effect in guard- 
ing the young women of our land against the danger of 
early impressions imbibed- at Convents in favor of a form 
of religion which is to be tolerated but nsver to be encou- 
raged in a free country, it will do more even than the 
laws can do in suppressing such outrages as the riot ai 
Charlestown; for if Protestant parents will resolve to 
educate their daughters at Protestant schools, and patro- 
nize no more Nunneries, then no more Nunneries will be 
established in this country, and there will be none for 
reckless mohs to destroy. 



14 INTRODUCTION. 

We do not desire to interfere in any manner with the 
religious privileges of Roman Catholics, or with their 
education of their own daughters in any form they may 
think proper, if not inconsistent with the Jaws ; but we 
earnestly nope, that Protestant parents, before they place 
their children under the tuition of either a College of Je- 
suits or a Community of Nuns and Catholic Priests, will 
first inquire how the proposed educators of their daughters 
ha%-e themselves been educated: and what the nature and 
effect of the absurd superstitions, the ascetic austerities, 
the ridiculous penances, the secret confessionals, the un- 
checked facilities for intrigue, which constitute the disci- 
pline of a Convent, are and must be upon instructers and 
pupils, abiding under such influences. 

This little Narrative is an unaffected and plain relation 
of facts, upon which a correct opinion can be formed of the 
probable tendencies of such a system. It was commenced 
in 1632, and completed in the winter of 1833. Not one of 
t*use at whose suggestion it is now published had ever 
heard of it until after the destruction of the Convent, and 
we are well assured that very few persons indeed knew 
that it had ever been written, until after the outrage at 
Charlestown had been committed. It was placed in our 
hands, as the friends of truth, after the publicity of the 
personal attacks which had been made upon Miss R. with 
singular unkindness and injustice, through a portion of 
the public press, by the constant and relentless calumnies 
of the female superintendent of the Convent, and finally 
by the illiberal, and, we are compelled to add, ungenerous, 
Report of the Boston Investigating Committee, in which 
thirty-eight gentlemen of high character (every one of 
whom would spurn the thought of deliberately injuring an 
mi protected female) have been induced to give their 
sanction to aspersions and insinuations against a daughter 
of one of their own fellow-citizens, upon no evidence 
whatever, except that derived from ancf through the of- 
fended Superior of the Convent and her Community, from 
whom that daughter had escaped, under circumstances 
which, if true, render the testimony of her accusers wholly 
unsafe as a guide to the real character of the interior of 
the Nunnery. 

It has been represented that the contents of Miss R.'s 
narrative were very monstrous, shocking, and incredible, 



INTRODUCTION. 15 

and even the charge of aberration of mind has been re- 
sorted to, by those who would have great cause of thank- 
fulness if they were 'blessed with the singleness of heart 
and the unaffected piety which mark the character of that 
young lady. Threats have even been thrown out that her 
character should be made to suffer if she dared to publish 
any thing against the Convent, and it is understood that 
the Boston Investigating Committee upon the destruction 
of the Convent were urged to retain in their Report the 
harsh language toward Miss R. which had been prepared 
by a sub-committee, in order to discredit by anticipation 
any statements which might thereafter be made on her au- 
thority, relative to the internal discipline of that establish- 
ment. We fully acquit the majority of that very respecta- 
ble committee of any deliberate design to wound the 
feelings and injure the reputation of a lady. They acted 
under the sudden and laudable impulse of manly resent- 
ment toward the authors of a shameless outrage committed 
upon the residence of defenceless females ; and as the 
ladies of the Convent were then the most prominent suf- 
ferers, and the objects of universal public sympathy, it was 
natural, if not excusable, that high-minded men, in their 
eagerness to redress their wrongs, should have become 
unmindful of the rights of a single individual, who was 
represented by the Catholics and some of their friends as 
the prime mover of the excitement against the Convent, 
by reason of the calumnies she was represented as having 
circulated against it. 

As one of the material considerations which in our opi- 
nion has rendered the publication of this Narrative indis- 
pensable, we subjoin several extracts from the Report of 
the Boston Committee, which, it will be seen, directly 
attributes to Miss R. the principal origin of the popular 
excitement that led to the disgraceful catastrophe of the 
11th of August. 

"It appeared immediately upon commencing the investi- 
gation, that the destruction of the Convent might be attri- 
buted primarily to a widely-extended popular aversion, 
founded in the belief that the establishment was obnoxious 
to those imputations of cruelty, vice, and corruption, sc ge- 
nerally credited of similar establishments in other coun- 
tries, and was inconsistent with the principles of our 
national institutions, and in violation of the laws of the 



16 INTRODUCTION. 

commonwealth ; and which aversion, in the minds of 
many, had been fomented to hatred, hy representations in* 
jnrious to the moral reputation of the members of that 
Community attributing to thein impurity of conduct, and 
excessive cruelties in their treatment of each other and of 
the pupils ; and denunciatory of the institution as hostile 
in its character and influence alike to the laws of God and 
man: and also by reports that one of the sisterhood, Mrs. 
Mary John, formerly Miss Elizabeth Harrison, after hav- 
ing fled from the Convent to escape its persecutions, and 
then been induced by the influence or threats of Bishop 
Fenwick to return, had been put to death, or secretly im- 
prisoned or removed." 

" The Committee have been unable to find any report 
in circulation injurious to the reputation of the members of 
the Community, which may not be traced to one of the 
above sources, or which has any other apparent foundation/' 

In another part of their Report the Committee say : — 
" In pursuing their inquiries into the truth of the injurious 
representations and reports above referred to, members of 
the Committee have had an interview with the young lady 
upon whose authority they were supposed to rest.'' And 
they then proceed to give the result of that interview as if 
derived from the young lady herself. 

Again they say : — " It was doubtless under the influence 
of these feelings and impressions, that some of the conspi- 
rators were led to design the destruction of the Convent." 

It will be seen therefore that this Report directly 
ascribes the origin of the outrage on the Nunnery to the 
aversion and hatred fomented by injurious representations 
and reports, founded upon the authority of Mi*s R., who 
had left the Convent more than two years before it was 
destroyed by a mob. The sub-committee who drew up the 
Report, in fact, attach but very little importance to the 
escape of Miss Harrison, (who was one of the ti-uslees of 
the establishment,) and the exciting circumstances attend- 
ing her leaving the Convent and her sudden return to it. 
They cast no censure on her, and impute no indiscretion 
to her, or to those who required her to labor so hard as a 
teacher as to derange her faculties. They do not inquire 
whither she was really deranged or not, (of which there is 
no direct proof, and very much against it.) and they are 
entirely willing to exempt her, and those who refused to 



INTRODUCTION. 17 

explain promptly the cause of her escape, from all possible 
blame as the real or innocent authors of the mob ; while they 
seriously set about affixing upon a humble Protestant girl, 
who had been deluded into the Catholic Church and 
escaped from her spiritual thraldom, all the " injurious 
reports" that led to the riot. Neither did the Committee 
inquire whether the threats of the Superior to the select- 
men of Charlestown, that the Bishop could order out 
twenty thousand Irishmen to destroy their property ; and 
the insults which I he pupils cast upon the public authori- 
ties of the town when they visited that establishment, 
were not sufficient causes to account for the public excite- 
ment, without going back nearly three years, to trace the 
origin of a formidable conspiracy to a mere girl ! 

Alter thus preparing the public to regard with aversion 
a " young woman" who could have spent nearly three years 
in fomenting hatred against the Convent, by means of in- 
jurious reports, until sne had produced an excitement that 
led to the commission of burglary and arson by a mob, the 
Report of the Committee proceeds to give a summary of 
the whole of her testimony as they profess to have re- 
ceived it irom her own mouth. 

And how did they arrive at their version of all that Miss 
P authorized or did not authorize, relative to reports af- 
fecting the character of the Nunnery 1 Two members of 
the Committee, it seems, had one interview with the 
young lady, to whom they were entire strangers, and out 
of that interview they derive materials for disposing of the 
whole matter, in a very summary manner. It should be 
borne in mind that just before the Report comes to this 
conclusion, it deliberately asserts that the Committee 
were " unable to lind any report in circulation, injurious to 
the members of the Convent," which was not traced either 
to Miss R. or to the reports which grew out of the elope- 
ment of Miss Harrison. There is then introduced a lor- 
mal disclaimer ibr Miss R., followed by a classification of 
her supposed testimony, from which the Report arrives at 
the happy conclusion that Miss R. had in fact said nothing 
against the Convent amounting to any thing, and that 
all she did say was entirely discredited : and yet she is 
indirectly held up to the public odium in that Report as the 
author of the mob, and her testimony discredited by con- 
trast with that of the ladies of the Convent, when by the 



18 INTRODUCTION. 

showing of the Report itself she had said nothing really 
injurious to the Convent ! Why then was she injured in 
this public manner, on the pretence that other people had 
circulated false reports in her name, which reports she 
never heard of and the Committee do not specify? 

The two gentlemen of the Committee who had the inter- 
view with Miss R. say for her, that " she entirely dis- 
claimed most of the reports passing under the sanction of 
her name, and particularly all affecting the moral purity 
of the members of the institution, or the ill treatment of 
the pupils under their care:" and this disclaimer is pub- 
lished in Italics, as if it were the precise language of Miss 
R. But it is not her language, nor did she ever authorize 
any such public disclaimer to be made for her. " Dis- 
claimed most of the reports passing under the sanction of 
her name," say the Committee ! If the reports had the 
sanction of her name, then she must have authorized 
them. But what were the reports passing under her 
name ? Miss R. never heard of any reports passing under 
her name, except those found in her INarrative. Did the 
two gentlemen whom Miss R. (mistaking for friends, and 
not suspecting they came to get materials to injure het 
veracity) consented to see, though reluctantly, the third 
time they called for that purpose — did these gentlemen in- 
scribe to her a single specific report as passing under het 
name, and ask her if it was true '. If she disclaimed most 
of the reports passing under her name, what were those 
" most," and what were the remainder of the reports she 
did not disclaim ? Could specific reports be disclaimed 
by her, when Miss R. was not apprized what the reports 
were that the Committee say were passing under the 
sanction of her name ? 

Then as to the formal disclaimer of all reports affecting 
the moral purity of the members, &c. Miss R., as the gen- 
tlemen subsequently admitted, used no such language as 
this. " Moral purity" is a wide phrase, and as here used 
it implies that Miss R. had never witnessed any thing at 
the Convent which was morally wrong. Had the Com- 
mittee confined this disclaimer to any imputations on fe- 
male virtue, they would have been correct, and would not 
have fallen into the error of doing great injustice to one 
lady, in their zeal to vindicate others. The gentlemen 
who called on Miss R. cannot have forgotten that she 



INTRODUCTION. 19 

declined saying any thing on this subject, and that the 
language introduced into the Report is their own inference. 
In relation to the ill treatment of the papils, there was no 
disclaimer at all. One of the gentlemen who called on 
Miss R. has frankly admitted this, and he would have 
corrected that portion of the Repo % had it not been be- 
yond his control when the error was pointed out to him. 
On his part a highly honorable disposition was evinced to 
correct the unjust advantage which had been taken of a 
private conversation with a lady, who had no suspicion 
she was undergoing a public examination, in an inter- 
view which she understood was iriendly and confiden- 
tial. 

After these disclaimers, the Report classifies what it 
terms Miss R. ? s " accusations" under the heads of" severe 
penance," "restraints upon members of the Community," 
and penances inflicted upon a Nun in her last illness, 
by which her life was shortened. And in order to leave 
no mistake in the inference that all these disclaimers and 
assertions are derived from Miss R. herself, as the whole 
sum and substance of her experience at the Convent, the 
Report sums up with this conclusion : — 

" From her statement, therefore, it is evident that there 
could be, except in the subject of the last accusation, no 
cause of public complaint, inasmuch as the other evils 
alleged, if existing, were confined to those who were 
voluntarily members of the institution, affecting neither 
the property nor the happiness of other individuals, nor 
tending in any wise to the injury of the public morals, or a 
violation of law." 

In other words, shortening the life of a Nun by severe 
penances, inflicted in her " last illness," would be a cause 
of public complaint against a Convent ; but severe pena-nces 
and restraints, however destructive of health, which Nuns 
and Novitiates might be compelled to suffer, before their 
"last illness," would furnish no ground for any complaint 
at all, provided they survived the cruelty inflicted by su- 
perstition ! Upon the same reasoning, the slow tortures 
of the Inquisition might have been introduced into the 
Monastery at Mount Benedict, and so long as they ware 
confined to the " voluntary members," and did not result 
in the actual death of their victims, there would be " no 
cause of public complaint," because while the infernal pro- 



20 INTRODUCTION. 

cess of cruelty was kept secret within the walls of a dun- 
geon, it could not in any wise injure the public morals ! 
The Bramins of the East argued in the same way against 
ihe interference of the British with the privilege of widows 
being voluntarily burned on the funeral pile of their hus- 
bands. They insisted that it " affected neither the pro- 
perty nor the happiness of other individuals," that it was 
an ancient custom, and. in fact promoted the "public 
morals," by insuring the wife's solicitude for her husband 
while living, and her fidelity after his death. 

Is it not also remarkable, that the Report of the Boston 
Committee could have come to the conclusion, that although 
fifty Protestant girls were placed under the entire control 
and instruction of a community of eight Nuns, one of whom 
had been obliged to labor so hard as a teacher as to driv6 
her to madness, yet it was " no cause of public complaint," 
even admitting that the persons thus intrusted with giving 
the first impressions to young ladies were in the daily 
practice of superstitiously inflicting upon each other, and 
upon themselves, severe penances, rigorous restraints, and 
all the absurd cruelties imposed by monastic religious dis- 
cipline ? 

We have no wish to say one word disrespectful to the 
gentlemen who signed the Report of the Boston Investigat- 
ing Committee. Their motives were highly honorable. 
But there were some few acting in the Committee without 
any legitimate authority, (for the original committee had no 
power to increase their number,) whose zeal to vindicate 
the Convent and its Protestant patrons made them forget 
what was due to the daughter of an American citizen. 
Tins is painfully obvious in the manner in which Miss R. 
has been introduced into that Report, without her know- 
ledge or consent. She was not calied as a witness before 
the Committee, so that each might have judged of her in- 
telligence for himself. They did not see her narrative of 
her residence at the Nunnery, nor did she make a single 
" accusation" to them against the Convent. Neither had 
she or her friends any notice of the written and spoken 
" accusations" which were made to the Committee by 
Mrs. Moffatt, Superior of the Convent, against Miss R. ; 
and no opportunity was given, though it was asked for, to 
enable the friends of Miss R. to protect her against that 
portion of the Report designed to affect her character inju- 



INTRODUCTION. 21 

riously. The whole process was sending two gentlemen 
to converse an hour with her alone, under an assurance of 
friendly confidence, without apprizing her that any public 
use whatever was to be made of the conversation, or inti- 
mating to her that the entire truth of her relations had 
been or would he called in question. Though disposed to 
respect the motives of the gentlemen who called on Miss 
R., and obtained a portion of her confidence for a purpose 
which was certainly concealed from her at the time ; they 
must permit us to say that they did their own high sense 
of honor, as well as Miss R., great injustice, when they 
allowed a public use to be made of a private conversa- 
tion with a lady, wiio did not consent to see them until they 
called the third time, who then referred them to another 
person for information, and who would not have seen them 
at all, could she have conjectured that the object was to 
obtain the means of discrediting her veracitv, and introduc- 
ing her before the public in the unjust and unkind man- 
ner she is treated in that Report. 

But the gentlemen who nave mistaken the point of 
honor as well as justice in this transaction, have the 

f)ower in their own nands, to use it as they think proper; 
or, unfortunately, their interview with Miss R. took 
filace without any friend on her part being present. In 
act, the strong bias of that Report to justify the Convent 
at the expense of all whose statements had affected it in- 
juriously, must be apparent, when we find gentlemen of 
the highest character and integrity, sitting as an impartial 
tribunal, proceeding first to collect the asseverations of the 
Superior, her Nuns, and the Catholic Priests, as to the 
purity of their own conduct, and their version of the con- 
duct of Miss R., who had escaped from them ; then sending 
a committee, as private gentlemen, to call on that lady with 
assurances of friendly confidence and religious fellowship, 
and introducing into a public report the alleged results of 
that interview, as " her statement," which is used in order 
to show that " her statement" is not to be believed I 

The only grounds on which the Committee in that Re- 
port justify their unkind treatment of Miss R., is, that 
" it is stated (so and so) by the ladies of the institution." 
This statement, which comes solely from the party accused, 
an impartial committee receive as conclusive evidence of 
the purity and propriety of all the proceedings at the Con- 
Tent, ana upon this evidence they discredit Miss R. 



22 INTRODUCTION. 

Is it not, indeed, very remarkable, that that young lady 
should have been the only individual singled out in the Re- 
port of the Committee, the only person whose testimony is 
formally stated in order to be discredited, especially when 
it is recollected that she was the only person who was 
acquainted with the interior discipline of the Convent, and 
whose evidence could be used to disclose any thing wrong, 
if any thing wrong existed there ? The Committee had no 
such design, but how natural was it for the friends of the 
Superior, imbibing her strong dislike to a seceder from the 
Convent, to infuse into the Report an ingredient of malice 
which to the whole Committee nore the semblance of truth. 
The Attorney-General, in his eloquent denunciation of the 
rioters, said that the age of chivalry was gone here, for no 
one stepped forward to rescue the property of the Convent 
from a mob. Was there any less want of chivalry when 
thirty-eight gentlemen brought all their influence to bear 
against a young lady, and condemned her unheard ? 

It was on the appearance of this Report, reflecting upon 
the character of a young lady, (who had apparentlv com- 
mitted no error, except suffering her romantic credulity to 
lead her to renounce the religion in which she had been 
brought up, for the supposed sanctity and seclusion of a 
Nunnery,) that a number of her friends and the friends 
of truth felt that something was due to a defenceless 
daughter of one of our own citizens, and that she ought 
not to be exposed to censure for disclosing any facts con- 
nected with the Convent, if they were such as ought to 
put Protestant parents on their guard against educating 
their daughters at Catholic Cloisters. 

They began to doubt whether something was not wrong, 
when they found it a part of the plan of those most zeal- 
ous in eulogizing the Convent, to destroy the reputation 
of a female who had returned to the Protestant faith, and 
whose only faults were that her religion had been affected 
by Catnolic influence, that it led her to become a novitiate 
in the Convent, that she had left it as soon as she be- 
came sensible of the tendency of such a system of religious 
discipline as was practised there, and had not shrunk 
from telling the plain truth to her friends and her religious 
teacher in explanation of her own conduct during her con- 
nection with the Nunnery. It was understood that great 
efforts had been made by a portion of the Investigating 



INTRODUCTION. 23 

Committee, aided by the amiable and pious clergyman 
before alluded to, to exclude from the Report all direct al- 
lusion to Miss R. ; and but for the earnestness with which 
the sacrifice of that young lady was urged by a few, this 
desirable object would have been accomplished, and the 
publication of Miss R.'s narrative been rendered unnecessa- 
ry for her vindication. The same facts and arguments to 
rebut the supposed allegations against, the Convent might 
have been introduced into the Report, without any personal 
reference to Miss R. But it seems to have been the design 
of a portion of that Report, (in which, however, we are satis- 
fied but a small number of the Committee participated,) to 
attribute all the stories injurious to the Convent to Miss R., 
to represent her as the author of monstrous, undefined 
calumnies, and then make use of a conversation held with 
her, in the absence of all her friends, to discredit her tes- 
timony generally, and in all matters resting upon her 
statement on one side, and the contradiction of the female 
superintendent of the Convent on the other, to give a de- 
cided preponderance in public opinion to the latter. 

Nevertheless, though the injustice of this proceeding 
was apparent to those best acquainted with the real facts 
in the case, it was equally apparent that while the excite- 
ment consequent on the infamous outrage upon the proper- 
ty of the owners and occupants of the Convent was at its 
height, it would be in vain to appeal to the public for a 
candid estimate of the real merits of the case at issue. It 
was also considered, that it might be regarded as an at- 
tempt to influence the public in relation to the important 
trials then pending, should such an appeal be made through 
the public press. The injustice, therefore, was submitted 
to in silence, until the public mind should be quieted, and 
a legal examination, under oath, take place of the ex parte 
and exaggerated investigation which had been held be- 
fore the Boston Committee, who had embodied the vague 
stories of voluntary witnesses, related not under oath, but 
in secret, under an assurance that the names of the wit- 
nesses were to bs concealed, so that whether they testified 
truly or falsely they were certain of being shielded from 
all responsibility. In short, it was the determination of 
the friends of Miss R., in conformity with her wishes, not 
to give publicity to her narrative, unless it became indis- 
pensable to the cause of truth, nor then, until such dispo- 



24 INTRODUCTION. 

sition had been made of the pending prosecutions of the 
rioters, as to render such a course free from all just im- 
putation of an attempt to interfere with the public justice. 

Scarcely, however, had those trials before the Supreme 
Court sitting at Cambridge terminated, when a still more 
unjust attempt was made to injure the character of Miss 
R., and hold her up to public indignation as the prime 
mover of the conspiracy which led to the destruction of 
the Ursuline Convent. This wholly unprovoked attack 
came from a person of high standing in the community, 
holding the office of judge of probate of the county of 
Middlesex, who had been for six years a patron of the 
Convent, and one of the most zealous defenders of the 
faith that Catholic Nunneries were the best schools for 
the education of the daughters of republican Protestants. 
The peculiar relation in which that individual stood to the 
Convent will best appear by quoting the language of the 
respectable counsel lor the delendant in the trial of John 
R. Buzzell. 

Mr. Mann, one of the counsel, said to the jury — " I do 
not think Judge Fay is sensible his feelings are excited, 
b Jt it seems to me that he comes here highly excited. Is 
it not strange that he can recollect the voice [of the prison- 
er] and not a word that he said ? He thinks that the 
prisoner is guilty, and that blood should be shed, and I 
submit, that every thing he sees and hears operates to the 
prejudice of the prisoner." 

Mr. Farley said — ' ; I would next call your attention to 
Judge Fay's testimony ; and in the outset I tell you, with- 
out any unfavorable feeling toward Judge Fav, whom I 
highly esteem, that he does not know himself, he does 
not know his own feelings, or he would not have told you 
that he could have tried a person for this crime immediate- 
ly after, with impartiality. Both Mr. Thaxter and Judge 
Fay are insensibly under the influence of feeling in this 
matter, arising from their having friends at the Convent, 
and being themselves the supporters and patrons of the 
institution, and having entire confidence in its excellency 
and purity. Believing so, and having placed their chil- 
dren there, it was natural they should wish to prove the 
institution a good one. These circumstances justify the 
belief, that Judge Fay, as high as his character stands, 
cannot possibly be an impartial witness in this causa " 



INTRODUCTION. 25 

It was under these impressions, and an apparent ex- 
treme irritation at the acquittal of Buzzell, that Judge Fay 
published a communication in the Boston Courier of 
January 5, 1835, in which he recklessly charged the editor 
of that paper, as the editor himself says, ^with a direct 
agency in producing the destruction of the Convent." 

It. will also be seen, by the following extract, that in the 
beginning of his letter he attributes the mob to a para- 
graph in the newspapers, while in the close he represents 
the destruction of the Convent as the object and result of 
the " pious labors" of Miss R. for the last two or three 
years. 

Extract from Judge Fay's Letter. 

"I verily believe there would have been no mob on 
Monday night, but for the paragraph first published in the 
Mercantile Journal of Saturday, and copied into the Courier 
of Monday, headed "mysterious." And here let me say, 
that the editors of those papers have never, as I believe, 
made any apology for the publication of that paragraph, 
which may have been the immediate cause of the outrages 
of that night. The editor of the Journal has even under- 
taken to justify it, and to complain of being injured by the 
very gentle rebuke for it, contained in the Report of the 
Boston Inves' ; gating Committee. I would now only ask, 
whether any respectable editor in Boston would dare to 
publish such a paragraph implicating the character or con- 
duct of the humblest citizen, upon no better authority than 
mere street rumor '?" 

Immediately after uttering this indignant rebuke against 
editors for implicating the character and conduct ef even 
the humblest citizen, upon no better authority than street 
rumor, the judge illustrates the influence of his own moral 
maxim upon himself, by proceeding forthwith to indite a 
gross and unprovoked libel upon a respectable young lady, 
without having even so much as the authority of " street 
rumor" for the calumnies he has published. 

Conclusion of Judge Fay's Letter to the Editor of the 
Courier of Jan. 5, 1835. 
" The causes which led to the destruction of the Con- 
vent—the circumstances attending the transaction— the 
difficulty of bringing the actors to justice, are fit subjects 



26 INTRODUCTION. 

for the investigation of the philosophic historian. The 
extraordinary fact, that while John R. Buzzell, the New 
Hampshire brickinaker, recently accused, tried, and ac- 
quitted, as one of the incendiaries, had his pockets filled 
with money, and received such other marks of popular 
sympathy and acknowledgment for his services and suffer- 
ings in the cause of true religion, as to demand of him a 
public card of thanks, no minister or member of a Protes- 
tant society in the country, as far as I have heard, has 
ever proposed a contribution for the unfortunate Ursulines 
who lost their all by this flagrant violation of their rights ; 
this is matter for 'our special wonder.' The time will 
come, I trust, when all these matters will be rightly under- 
stood. As to the state of popular feeling which produced 
this catastrophe, if that be a mystery, a careful review of 
some of the religious journals of the day may in part ex- 
plain it. On that point, I will tako the liberty to refer 
you to a certain Miss Rebecca Theresa Reed, alias Re- 
becca Mary Agnes Theresa Reed, (as Goldsmith says, I 
love to give the whole name,) a Catholic Protestant, as 
she termed herself in court the other day, who has been 
about Boston and the vicinity for ihc last two or three 
years, announcing herself as ' the humble instrument in the 
hands of Providence to destroy the institution at Mount 
Benedict.' As the great object of her pious labors has 
been accomplished, I doubt not she will be proud to in- 
form you how she did it. It is possible that a book which 
it is rumored she is about to publish relative to the Nun- 
nery, may afford the desired information ; but as there is 
reason to apprehend* that the manuscript, Avhich has been 
extensively read, may undergo considerable pruning and 
purgation to suit the views of the publisher, it is quite 
doubtful if you will be able to get the whole truth, or in- 
deed any unvarnished truth, by reading it. I should there- 
fore advise to apply directly to herself. If she be as 
obliging and communicative since, as she was before the 
achievement of the great work, I doubt not that you may 
be Yery much enlightened in all the remaining unex- 

{)lained mysteries connected with a transaction, which has 
eft an indelible stain on the character of this part of the 
country; exciting the grief of our friends and the pity of 
our enemies. 

I have travelled a step or two beyond the limited object 



INTRODUCTION. 2? 

of this communication, but I trust my motive, which is 

truth, and the correction of error, will be thought a suffi- 
cient justification. 

Your obedient servant, 

SAMUEL P. P. FAY. 
Cambridge, Jan. 2, 183o. 
Up to this period, Miss II. had never published a line 
relating to the Convent, nor authorized any publication 
that had been made. Her situation unavoidably subjected 
her to many painful inquiries, (among others to those of 
the lady uf Judge Fay himself,) but it is believed that she 
uniformly conducted with a discretion and prudence in re- 
lation to any statement she has made, which it would be 
difficult for any young lady in her situation to excel. All 
the excitement attendant upon her escape from the Con- 
vent, if there ever were any, had subsided long before Miss 
Harrison eloped Irom that place, and returned under cir- 
cumstances furnishing abundant materials for popular ex- 
citement. 

The escape of Miss R., in 1832, was never mentioned 
in a single newspaper, nor made known to any but her 
friends, and no public allusion was ever made to it, until 
after the burning of the Convent. On the other hand, the 
elopement of. Miss Harrison, in 1834, was immediately 
made the subject of newspaper mystery and speculation"; 
and yet Miss R. is censured as the enemy of the Convent, 
and Miss Harrison applauded as its friend! Miss R. 
rerlainly has much the highest claim to the praise of dis- 
cretion. . Her elopement never got into the newspapers, as 
f reedy as news catchers would have been to have seized it. 
!ut other real or pretended elopements Irom the Convent, 
previous to that of Bliss R., were made matter of comment 
in the newspapers, so as to call for a public denial on the 
part of the friends of the institution, as will be seen by the 
following, from the organ of the Catholics in Boston. 
[From the Jesuit of July 23. 1831.] 

"A lying report has been for some time going the 
rounds of the Calvinistic presses, relative to the elopement 
of a pious girl from the Mount Benedict Institution at 
Charlestown. False! false!! false!!! Messrs. Parsons, 
you know it to be so." 

The inference, therefore, is obvious, that Miss R. avoided 



28 INTRODUCTION. 

any publicity that would lead to an excitement against the 
Convent. For nearly three years before the destruction 
of the Convent, she had been living in the bosom of her 
own family, an exemplary member of the Episcopal 
Church, industriously applying herself, as far as her shat- 
tered health would admit, to acquiring and giving instruc- 
tion to young ladies in music and ornamental work. To 
suppose for a moment that a mere girl, not twenty years 
of age, and so situated, could possess the power, or the 
means, or the disposition to do what the Boston Commit- 
tee and Judge Fay so unjustly attribute to her agency, viz. 
" fomenting to hatred the popular aversion" against the 
Convent, " by representations injurious to the moral repu- 
tation of the members of that Community," and forming a 
conspiracy " to destroy the institution at Mount Benedict," 
" as the great object of her pious labors," requires a cre- 
dulity not surpassed by that which enables a devout Ca- 
tholic actually to believe in the identical transubstantiation 
of a wafer into the flesh of the Savior ! It would disparage 
the common sense of Judge Fay, much more of the Boston 
Committee, to suppose they believe any such thing. And 
yet, in grave documents emanating from both these sources, 
we find a young girl, moving in the humble walks of life, 
whose character is without reproach, charged with de- 
signing for three years, and carrying forward to its comple- 
tion, in the midst of her simple avocation as the affection- 
ate teacher of female children in music, a monstrous 
conspiracy to get up a mob to destroy the Ursuline Con- 
vent by violence ! If these intelligent gentlemen have 
really brought their minds to compass such an absurdity as 
this, they might be brought to invert one of the miracles of 
sacred writ, and believe that Jonah swallowed the whale, 
and not that the whale swallowed Jonah ! 

It was not until this publication of Judge Fay appeared, 
that Miss R. fully consented that her friends should j>ubL ; sh 
her narrative, as the only means of placing before the 
public all she had said and written in relation to the Con- 
vent, from which it might be seen how injuriously she had 
been misrepresented. The Report of the Boston Commit- 
tee, though extremely unkind in other respects, was so far 
decorous as to omit using her name. Judge Fay was des- 
titute of this ordinary courtesy due to every reputable fe- 
male who does not bring herself voluntarily before the 



INTRODUCTION. 29 

public. To repel his harsh imputations at once, seemed 
indispensable, and they were replied to by the following 
communication in the Boston Courier of January 7, 1835, 
which will explain many things connected with the nar- 
rative. 

REPLY TO JUDGE FAY. 

Bostoii, January 5, 1835. 

TO THE EDITOR OF THE COURIER I 

Sir,— I have been much surprised by seeing, in a letter signed 
"Samuel P. F. Fay," published in your paper of this morning, a 
violent attack upon myself, making statements icholly false, and 
adding inferences, which, I take it upon myself to say, no honest 
and unprejudiced man would be guilty of, even in his own 
thoughts, and much less in a letter sent to a public journal for 
publication. Much as I am averse to allowing my name to come 
before the public, in any manner, I cannot, in justice to myself, 
remain silent when such a gross calumny has been put forth ; 
and done, too, by one whose office gives him a claim to respect in 
this community. In answering the calumnies contained in the 
communication of Judge Fay, it will be necessary to enter a little 
into particulars. In the first place, the judge " takes the liberty" 
to refer to me, as one who is able to give some information upon the 
causes of the "popular feeling 1 ' which produced the destruction 
of the Convent. In answer to this reference, I can only say, that 
it is impossible for me to account for the popular feeling in any 
other manner than that in which the learned judge himself ac- 
counted for it, when on the stand and under oath, viz. to the cir- 
cumstances attending the escape of Mrs. Mary John. He then 
stated (under oath) that he knew of no other cause for the excite- 
ment which had caused the catastrophe. I can say with equal 
sincerity, that I also know of no other cause ; and that to have it 
ascribed to me, as having in the least degree contributed to the 
excitement, is as base a calumny as was ever fabricated. 

My conversation with regard to that institution, since I left it, 
has been confined to very few persons. No conversation of impor- 
tance, with regard to it, had ever been held by me (up to the time 
of its destruction) with but two persons. One of them is the reve- 
rend gentleman of whose church I am now a member, and the 
other is a resident in the country. I have sometimes been pressed 
with questions concerning it, but have always avoided them as 
much as possible ; and though I have answered some questions, I 
have not (up to the time above mentioned) given any information 
with regard to the institution, (to any other than the gentlemen 
before named.) further than general statements ; such as, that I 
did not approve of the institution, and should not advise any of 
the young ladies among my friends to go there ; that I disapproved 
•if the discipline of the institution, thinking much of it to be too 



30 INTRODUCTION. 

So careful have I been not to be in any measure the cause of an 
excitement against that institution, that I did not permit even my 
own sisters to read the manuscript which I had written concerning 
it. And now, that it should be publicly saii of me, by one who 
holds a seat upon the judge's bench, that I have been the cause 
of the " popular feeling" of which he speaks, is an invasion of 
defenceless female innocence, if possible, more barbarous than 
that invasion of private rights, which has called forth so much 
public discussion. 

The learned judge says I "termed" myself, when in court, a 
"Catholic Protestant"— for the purpose, no doubt, of holding me 
up to ridicule. In answer to this small wit, it is only necessary 
to say, that such an expression is a contradiction in terms which 
I did not make use of. I stated, that I was a Catholic Episcopa- 
lian ; and I say so still. 

But the most important misrepresentation which the judge has 
done me the honor to make, is in a paragraph to which he puts 
quotation marks, as if the words were actually mine. In answer 
to this, in the first place I would state, that all which is exception- 
able in the paragraph is false. With regard to the origin from 
which this paragraph has been made, it will be necessary to 
mention a few details. About a year ago, Mrs. Fay was (appa- 
rently) quite desirous to have some conversation with me upon 
that institution : to this end, she sent me two notes requesting me 
to call on her for that purpose. I had (as above stated) always 
endeavored to avoid particular conversation upon the subject ; but 
in this instance, knowing that Mrs. Fay haa a daughter in the 
institution, I thought it my duty to give her all the information I 
could with propriety. I therefore answered her first note, inform- 
ing her that if she would call on me, I would give her all the in- 
formation in my power. To this she sent another note, again 
requesting me to call on her : of which last I took no notice, being 
thankful that she wanted the information so little, as to give me 
an excuse for not giving it. A short time after, however, I went 
there to obtain a piano-forte, which I had been informed could be 
had upon application : I was in hopes that I should not see 
Mrs. Fay, but was disappointed. She immediately commenced 
asking me a variety of questions about the Convent, and I could 
not avoid having some conversation with her upon the subject. 
I answered her questions in general terms, as I had previously 
answered similar questions to other persons, without entering into 
any particulars, and ending the conversation as soon as politeness 
would permit. Previous to leaving, however, some general re- 
mark* were made on both sides ; and upon her part some remarks 
directed to me, of a more kindly nature than any which she had 
previously made. In this connection I said, that "I hoped to be 
a humble instrument in the hands of Providence of showing my 
friends the truth." This is what was said, and nothing different 
was said. The remark applied to me by Judge Fay I never made, 
nor any thing nearer to it than the one above quoted. Thus it 



INTRODUCTION. 31 

will be seen, that yourself is not the only one to whom the learned 
judge has done great injustice. 

"With regard to the manuscript which the judge speaks of, it is 
true that I have written one; but that it has been "extensively 
read," is not true. Whether it will be published or not, it is unne- 
cessary to answer. If however it should be published, there will 
bo no "pruning or purgation," as is feared by the learned judge, 
but it will, on tru contrary, be more full and explicit than was 
originally intended ; for when written, it was not intended for 
publication. 

I am. very respectfully, your obedient servant, 

R. THERESA REED. 

We take it for granted that no person, of ordinary good 
breeding, can justify the rude and unprovoked attack 
which a dignified judge, who is legally the guardian of 
the orphan, has made upon an orphan girl, in this commu- 
nication to the editor of the Courier. What manly feeling. 
or what sense of justice, could have prompted this sneer? 
— " a certain Miss Rebecca Theresa Reea, alias Rebecca 
Mary Agnes Theresa Reed ; as Goldsmith says, I love to 
give the whole name." Why did not the judge, while in 
this witty humor, exercise his ridicule upon the Lady Su- 
perior, who styled herself, when in court, by the whole 
name of " Mrs. President, Ma Mere, Mary Ann, Ursula, 
Lady Superior, Edmond, St. George, Moffatt?" The 
judge himself is not deficient in names ! 

Not content with this, the judge totally misrepresents 
a fact, in saying that Miss R. termed herself, in court, " a 
"Catholic Protestant." She did not. Chief Justice 
Shaw asked her, as he did all the female witnesses, "Are 
you a Catholic? Her answer was, I am a Catholic Epis- 
copalian. Chief Justice. Do you believe in the Catrnlic 
Church? Ans. ' 1 believe in the Holy Catholic Church,' 
but not iu the Roman Catholic Church. Chief Justice. 
Do you acknowledge the supremacy of the Pope ? Ans. 
No, Sir, by no means ; I am a member of the Protestant 
Episcopal Church." — It would seem difficult to find mate- 
rials for ridicule in answers so proper and becoming as 
these. 

But the most remarkable part of the judge's letter, is 
the proof he grjivoly gives of Miss R.'s design to burn 
down the Convent, by the assertion that some two years 
before the riot, she declared that " she hoped to be a hum- 
ble instrument, in the hands r>{ Providence, to destroy the 



32 INTRORUCTrON. 

institution at Mount Benedict:" and this, infers the judge, 
is conclusive evidence that a girl of nineteen was then 
getting up a conspiracy to burn down the Convent ! 

What a terrible incendiary Martin Luther must have 
been, on this principle, for when threatened with persecu- 
tion from Rome, he wrote to Spalatinus — " Let them con- 
demn me and burn my books, and if in return I do not. 
publicly condemn and bum the whole mass of pontifical 
law, it will be because I cannot find fire. The Lord will 
I doubt not, finish his own work, either through me as his 
instrument or through another." 

In truth, the Lord did make Luther the instrument of de- 
stroying jive hundred and seventy-six monastic establish- 
ments in England alone, the annual revenues of which, to 
the Monks and Nuns with their vows of "poverty,'" were 
£132,000, more than half a million of dollars, besides 
plate and jewels to the value of £100,000 more ! In fact, 
as the history of those times says, "one of the first effects 
of the Reformation was the destruction of the religious 
houses." 

Was that any reason that Luther should have held his 

J»eace ? The Boston Committee think so in their Report, 
or they say, " there can be no doubt that a conspiracy was 
formed, extending into many of the neighboring towns, but 
the Committee are of opinion that it embraced very few 
of respectable character in society, though some such may 
be accounted guilty of an offence no less heinous, morally 
considered, in having excited the feelings which led to the 
design." 

Here in one sentence we have all the authors of state- 
me-its injurious to the Nunnery, whether true or false, 
including Dr. Beecher for preaching against Popery, shook 
up together in the same bag with the rioters who set fire 
to the Convent ! Verily Martin Luther was a rioter in- 
stead of a reformer, for he "excited the feelings" that led 
to very many bloody wars and persecutions, in which all 
Europe was involved for years. 

Protestant Ameri?an citizens, Avho regard it as a heinous 
moral offence to tell the truth and expose the danger and 
folly of educating the daughters of frer>. republicans at 
Catholic Convents, must assuredly approve of the eulo- 
gium the infidel historian Hume pronounces on Pope Leo 
the Tenth, " whose sound judgment, moderation, and 



INTRODUCTION. 33 

temper were well qualified to retard the progress of the 
Reformation." 
Miss R. therefore, even had she used the precise lan- 

§uage Judge Fay ascribes to her, might have quoted an 
lustrious example. Luther had seen the abuses of the 
Romish Church, as she had seen those of the Convent at 
Charlestown, and when his enemies proposed to stipulate 
for his silence, and even his friends feared he was going 
too far, he exclaimed, " I will not be guilty of an impious 
silence, and of the neglect of divine truth, and of so many 
thousand precious souls." And yet Luther's single as- 
sertion stood ibr some time against the testimony of the 
whole hierarchy of Rome, and had Christians taken their 
denials where "would have been the Reformation? So if 
the Protestants of the present day admit the denials of the 
members of Catholic Convents as conclusive against the 
statements of all seceders from such institutions, who 
alone can carry into the world a knowledge of its secret 
discipline, will it not amount to an entire immunity to 
such establishments for any abuses or follies they may 
practise ? 

But it is not true that Miss R. took any pains to dis- 
seminate her opinions of t'i-3 Nunnery. On the contrary, 
she uniformly refrained from doing no. unless under cir- 
cumstances where she felt called upon by a sense of duty 
and the inquiries of those interested in knowing the truth. 
One of the few conversations she held on this subject, after 
she left the Convent, was the one Which Judge Fay has 
brought before the public, and misrepresented, with marked 
disregard to delicacy, because the conversation he uses to 
establish his charge of conspiracy against Miss R. was 
held with his own wife, at her argent solicitation. This 
we will prove. In 1833, Miss R. was a pupil in the 
Cambridgeport Academy, nearly opposite the residence of 
Judge Fay. Mrs. Fay called on her there, and requested 
an interview relative to the Convent, in which she had 
daughters. Miss R. declined calling. The earnestness 
with which the interview was pressed, will appear front 
the following notes, which the judge has obliged the 
friends of Miss R. to publish. 

"Mrs. Fay will be at home this morning, and wouldbe happy 
to have a few moments' conversation with Miss Reed after school 
this morning, if it would ba agreeable to Miss Reed, in relation to 



34 INTRODUCTION. 

the Convent. Mrs. Fay only wishes to know if certain reports 
which she hae heard are true. 
"Friday morning." 

[Miss R. replied in a note, declining to call at the resi- 
dence of Mrs. F., but expressing a willingness to have that 
lady call on her. The answer to this note was as fol- 
lows.] 

" Mrs. Fay will not be able to call and see Miss Reed this after- 
noon, as b-he is going to Boston. She is much obliged to Mis.? Reed 
for her polite note, and will be happy to have Miss Reed call any- 
day next week, eithe- before or after school. 

" Saturday morning." 

A conversation, drawn from an artless young lady, by 
such earnest and kind solicitations as these, certainly 
ought not to have been treasured up nearly two years, and 
then made public, in a distorted form, in order to charge 
upon her a conspiracy to incite a mob to commit arson 
and burglary. 

We know it has been thrown out, by way of threat, that 
should Miss R. suffer her narrative to be published, her 
veracity would be destroyed by means of spies in the 
guise of friends, who had watched her ever since she es- 
caped from the Convent, and taken down her conversa- 
tions in writing, in order to detect her in some contradic- 
tions. That such a cold-blooded, Jesuitical system of 
espionage can have been introduced into this enlightened 
community, and practised for the ruin of a voung lady, 
we shall believe when we see these pretended records of 
Miss R.'s conversation published, and not before. We 
certainly acquit so respectable a lady as Mrs. F. of any 
design to entrap Miss R. oy kind solicitations into a con- 
versation that was to be used, at some future period, to hei 
injury. 

But there is one fact which we cannot withhold in this 
connection, as it will account for the spirit of extreme 
hostility with which Miss R. has been pursued, ever since 
her escape from the Convent, and her renunciation of the 
Roman Ca.nolic faith. We quote from the "Jesuit," 
published in Boston, the organ of Romanism in New 
England, fr-n which it will be seen that whenever a 
Catholic changes his religion, the dogma of the church 
enjoms that he is never afterward to be trusted or believed 
in any thing; and is to be driven, by persecutions, to in- 



INTRODUCTION. 35 

temperance, madness, or suicide. That these are the ter- 
rors held out to apostates from Popery, cannot be mistak- 
en from the following language. 

[From the Boston Jesuit of 1631.] 

" Whenever a Catholic changes bis religion, his motives 
and conduct are to be invariably suspected, and his honesty 
to be never trusted. Never did such apostates become 
thereby more moral or religious. Faith being the free 
gift ofGod to man, may be lost by an individual not keep- 
ing it active by the penormance of the moral and religious, 
duties which an incarnate God and his Church inculcate 
and enforce. 

But conscience, with her thousand tongues, will cry out 
in the midst of festive gayety, in darkness or solitude, 
against such deep and davming- perfidy, and the unfortu- 
nate victim, iu all the abasement of guilt, to palliate his 
mental torture, will have recourse to the stupefying bowl^ 
or terminate his career by suicide.' 1 ' 

Need we marvel that :; mother Church" is infallible in the 
eyes of her votaries, when such are the arguments used 
against a Catholic turning Protestant ? Need we wonder if 
even deranged fugitives from Convents should be sudden- 
ly restored to their senses, and voluntarily return to their 
mental prison, as the only means to escape such a terrible 
anathema ? How conveniently, in case ofthe sudden death 
of an " apostate" this doctrine of a guilty conscience im- 
pelling to suicide would " cover it all over like a cloak." 
We bring no accusation ; we merely trace avowed doc- 
trines to their legitimate consequences ; and we ask, if the 
above article really embodies the true spirit with which 
the Nuns of the Convent, the Bishop and Priests, and the 
Catholics generally, view the secession of Miss R. from 
their order, ought she not to be an object of the lively 
sympathy, and the zealous protection of Protestant Chris- 
tians, instead of being pursued and persecuted by them 
also, as the unconscious instruments of the vengeance of 
the former ? 

One word as to the intimation that the Narrative of 
Miss R., as now puolished, has undergone "pruning and 
purgation to suit the publisher." It has neither been 
pruned nor expurgated, to suit the views of any body. It 
contains everv fact which it contained when committed to 



36 INTRODUCTION. 

writing by Miss It between two and three \enrs ago. 
The form in which it is now published is a revision of the 
original draft by Miss R., under the r.dvice of judicious 
friends, bui the language, the thoughts, the facts and the 
inferences are wholly ner's, with a few unimportant cor- 
rections. We repeat, that not a fact contained in the 
original Narrative has been suppressed, and these are all 
the facts which Miss R. has at any time authorized to 
" pass under the sanction of her name." If she knows facts 
more injurious to the character of the Convent, they have 
not been disclosed ; and a discreet public can judge from 
this Narrative with how much justice the Boston Com- 
mittee, in their Report, have ascribed to Miss R. the origin 
of the excitement that led to the riot of the 11th of August. 
We cannot so well describe the circumstances under 
which the Narrative was at first prepared, as they are re- 
lated in the following communication on that subject, ad- 
dressed to us by Miss R. last October. 

TO MV RESPECTED FRIEND3 : 

' Seon after I left the TJrauline Community on 3Iounl Benedict, 
Charlestown, I felt it my duty and privilege to resume the connec 
tion which, before I became a convert to Romanism, I held with 
the Protestant Episcopal Church, in Cambridge. I accordingly 
applied to the Rev. Mr. C the pastor of Christ Church. Boston, 
with whom I had consulted previously to my joining the Catholics. 
I related to him, as my pastor and spiritual adviser, the circum- 
stances which led to the temporary renunciation of the f tith in 
which I was brought up by my pious mother. 

Before the death of my mother, she took care to have myself 
and two sisters baptized, at the Episcopal Church in Cambridge, 
by the Rev. Mr. Doane, then of Trinity Church, Boston, now aii 
Episcopal Bishop of New Jersey. 

It was the daily prayer of my beloved mother that her children 
might be brought up in the ways of religion and truth. Accord- 
ingly she gave my two younger sisters and myself to the Episco- 
pal Church in baptism. Previous to her death she summoned 
us to her bed, in presence of my father and one of our sponsors, 
and reminded us of the solemn obligation we had taken on our- 
selves in the ordinance of baptism, and said that she knew of no 
truer religion than that of the Church of England ; that if there 
was a holier people, we had only to seek, and we should find them. 
And here I should do well to call to mind other advice and 
requests which she made : although her body sleeps in the dust, the 
remembrance of her dying words is still fresh In my mind. 

When I threw off the strong delusion under which I had been 
Induced to embrace Romanism or the Catholic religion, and my 



INTRODUCTION. 37 

mind waa left at liberty to reflect on the dying words of my de- 
parted mother, I sought consolation in the Episcopal Church. la 
doing this, and in applying to tb? Rev. Mr. C. for readrnission to 
the church, I felt it my duty, in returning as a lost sheep to the 
fold, to open my whole heart, and disclose all the circumstances 
that led to my wandering from the truth and embracing the Ro- 
man Catholic faith — my introduction to the Ursuline Community — 
a narrative of my residence there— the circumstances which 
caused me to doubt the purity of their faith and practice— my con- 
sequent elopement from the Convent, and my renunciation of 
Romanism. And my present pastor can bear me witness that I 
have never expressed any desire to injure the Convent or bring 
unjust reproacii on the Catholic religion, but to do my duty as I 
conscientiously believed I ought to do, in telling the truth, on my 
application for readrnission to the Episcopal Church ; and leave the 
event to the wise Disposer of all things. 

At the time I related the facts contained in this Narrative to the 
Rev. Mr. O, he advised me as soon as I was able to put In 
writing all that I had learned and experienced of Roman Catho- 
licism while among them, and while in the Convent. At first I was 
able to make only memoranda, but I have at last endeavored, in 
my own simple language, to place them together in something 
like the form of a narrative, for your perusal. 

The above are t lie circumstances under which this short account 
has been drawn up; and I have now explained to you the motives 
for this narrative of the most interesting and distressing period of 
my life. R. THERESA REED. 

Among the many unkind things said of Miss R., an at- 
tempt has been made to impute ingratitude to her, because 
she was received at the Convent as a charity scnolar. Mrs. 
Moffat*, the Superior, in her testimony, said, " Miss R. 
was received from motives of charity ;" and the Report of 
the Boston Committee, taking the alleged fact solely from 
the Superior, says, " her means of knowledge were derived 
from her having become a voluntary inmate of the house, 
for the purpose of receiving a gratuitous education." 

Had disinterested benevolence been the motive which 
led to the admission of Miss R. to the Convent, those who 
could exercise such benevolence would not have publicly 
reproached her with ingratitude on that score. But the 
Superior proved, while under oath, that the object was not 
charity, but the pecuniary interest of the school. We 
quote the following from the cross examination of the Su- 
perior, in answer to questions put by Mr. Farley. 

" Miss Reed cams as a charity scholar. She was em- 
ployed in attending to her education. Question* What 



38 INTRODUCTION. 

was the design of educating her? Answer. To privare 
her to instruct in the school. Mr. Farley. Then after she 
was taught sufficiently to instruct in the school, would she 
not have been an acquisition to the Community ? Answer. 
Certainly." 

This is the same kind of charity which a master bestows 
upon his apprentice the first six months. Miss R., when 
she appliea for admission to the Convent, was found to 
possess a fine talent for music, which she has since de- 
veloped. As an instructer in music, therefore, had she re- 
mained at the Convent after the six months, her services 
would have been highly important. The receipts from 
sixty scholars were not less than ten thousand dollars per 
annum, and there were but eight teachers, so that Miss 
R.'s proportion of labor, when qualified to instruct in music, 
would have been twelve hundred per annum. "Charity" 
like this was certainly casting a single loaf of bread upon 
the waters, with a certainty of receiving a v, hole cargo in 
return. 

Nor was this all. Miss R. was well skilled in orna- 
mental needle-work, as the ornaments of the altar and the 
robe of the Bishop can bear witness, and her industry in 
that department was a full equivalent for all the " charity" 
she received at the Convent. We will prove this out of 
the mouths of the Catholics themselves, by quoting the 
following article referring to Miss R. just before she en- 
tered the Convent. 

[From the Boston Jesuit of August G, 1831.] 

" We have frequently heard and noticed the anti-christian pre- 
judice which a conversion from sectarianism to the Holy Catholic 
Church, produces in the minds of the unconverted friends and 
relatives of the new convert. 

" A young lady (meaning Miss R.) who lived not a great distance 
from Boston, became a convert a few months ago. This so exas- 
perated her father, that she was obliged to leave the house. She 
found a shelter in the house of a worthy Catholic family. She is 
very capable of obtai7iins: a livelihood, by her knowledge of the 
various branches of necdleicork. Passing over a certain bridge, 
not very far from this city, she was met by a brother, who unnatural- 
ly exclaimed that very little icould induce him to throip her into 
the water. He fortunately did not violate the majesty of the law. 
Happy privilege of the private judgment principle ! edifying de- 
monstration of its practical results ! "Read th^. Bible and judge for 
youreelf, says the minister. When one does so. and thereby be- 



INTRODUCTION. 39 

comes a Catholic, he is forthwith denounced, yes, and but too often 
persecuted. Strange logic this! happy coincidence of principle 
and practice !' ; 

We have introduced this extract merely to sh> w that be- 
fore Miss R. was received into the Convent, it was well 
understood by her Catholic friends, that she was very capa- 
ble of obtaining a livelihood, by the precise kind of still 
which was particularly wanted in the decorations of the 
Convent. But as this extract from the Jesuit contains 
many false statements never derived from Miss R. or her 
friends, but invented by the Priest who wrote it, we sub- 
join the following declaration made by the brother of Miss 
R., which is also fully assented to by her father. 

The subscriber is the only brother of R. Theresa Reed, who was 
in the Convent at Charlestown for some time. He and all the 
family were always opposed to Theresa's going to the Convent, 
and did all they could to persuade her not to go there, but never 
used any other mean3 than advice. Theresa was livinir at home 
with my father, and was under no necessity to seek admission to 
the Convent as a charily to her. We always believed she was 
overpersuaded by others to go there. Her father always opposed 
her going there. He showed me, at the lime, a letter from the 
Superior of the Convent to him, which said, "With your approba- 
tion I shall receive your daughter, and give her two or three quar- 
ters' instruction and fit her for a teacher." My father did n»t 
consent, but told me he had sent word by Mrs. Locke, who did 
washing at the Convent, to tell the Superior not to receive his 
daughter, and that she had friends to provide for her. 

A short time before my sister went into the Convent, I met her 
on Charlestown bridge, the only time I ever remember meeting 
her there. I tried to persuade her from going into the Convent, 
which she seemed very anxious to do, and wished me to go with 
her to see the Superior. I declined doing so, and said I should 
rather follow her to her grave than have her go there. In that 
and no other conversation I never used any threat toward her, 
which it would have been impossible for me to do at any time : 
and the story which afterwards appeared in the Jesuit, that I had 
threatened to throw her off the bridge, or used any threat, is & 
felsehood from beginning t< end. w ^ c j^™ , 

Many persons who will read this Narrative, and hare 
read the Boston Report, may suppose that they are called 
upon to decide between the veracity of the influential citi- 
zens who signed that report, and so humble an individual 
as Miss R. It is not so. These gentlemen do not assert 
a single fact or belief, in their own knowledge, which af- 



40 INTRODUCTION. 

fects the correctness of Miss R.'s statement. Wherever 
there is any contradiction in matter of fact, it rests between 
Miss R. arid the inmates of the Convent, relating to facts 
of a secret nature, which none but the Nuns, the Novitiates, 
and the Priests could know. The Superior, when under 
oath, admitted that Miss R. " would know every thing 
which took place during the time she was with us, except- 
ing what occurred in the school room." 

It is therefore simply a question of personal veracity, and 
of internal and external evidence of truth. Such being the 
case, and Miss R. having been presented in an unfavora- 
ble and unjust light, in the Report of the Boston Com- 
mittee, it has seemed to her friends that it was due to her 
and due to truth, that the estimation in which she is held 
by those who know her best, should be made public at 
this time, as ample proof that she has friends to protect her 
from injustice. 

The subjoined certificates were given shortly after the 
publication of the Report of the Boston Committee, and 
though many more, respectable names, might be obtained, 
the number and character of those given must satisfy every 
candid mind, that few young ladies of twenty, in any circle, 
could produce better "evidence of their being entitled to 
confidence and esteem. 

I hereby certify that Miss Rebecca T. Reed has been, for mora 
than two years last past, a communicant at Christ Church ; that I 
have always regarded her as a devout person and exemplary in 
her Christian walk and conversation ; that I repose great confi- 
dence in her sincerity and intention to relate, on all occasions, 
what she believes to be the truth. 

WILLIAM CROSWELL, 
Rector of Christ Church, Boston. 

October 20th, 1834. 

Cambridgeport, October 3d, 1831. 

This certifies that Miss R. Theresa Reed attended the Cam- 
bridgeport Academy several months within the last year. It 
gives me pleasure to add, that s* far as my knowledge extended, 
her conduct during this time was uniformly eood. 
\ SAMUEL ADAMS, 

Principal of Cambridgeport Academy. 

We the subscribers, having been acquainted with Miss Rebecca 
Theresa Reed, previous to her becoming a member of the Ursuline 
Community at Mount Benedict, Charlestown, and since leaving 
that institution, feel it due te the cause of truth and justice to sajr. 
that we consider her a person entitled to our confidence, sua* 



INTRODUCTION. 41 

taining as she does a character distinguished for love of truth, for 
unexceptionable morals, and for meek and modest deportment. 
And we feel it our duty to give, and cheerfully do give, this our 
testimonial, to be used by her and her friends as they shall deem 
most expedient. 

September 26, 1834. 

Boston. — James Day, Ebenezer F. Gay. 

Lexington. — Jonathan Munroe, Rhoda Munroe, Susan E. Mun- 
roe, John Viles, Sally D. Viles, Sarah H. Viles, William L. Smith, 
Solomon Harrington, Betsey Harrington. 

Woburn. — Luke Wyman, Ruth Wyman, Ruthy B. Wyman, 
Lucy Wyman, Seth Wyman, Sarah R. Wyman, Bill Russell, 
John Wade, Hannah Wade, John F. Harris, Phebe Harris, Ed- 
mun Parker, Thaddeus Parker. 

Medford.— Anna Teel, Anna Briant, Leonard Bucknam. Anna 
Bucknam, Matilda Johnson. 

Cragie's Point. — Elijah Wheeler. 

Charlestown. — Stephen Symmes, Priscilla Symmes, John 
Swan, Samuel Gardner, Priscilla Reed, Charles Gordon, Ezra 
Welsh, Caleb Harrington, Sarah Gardner, Patience Gardner, Abi- 
gail Tufts, Caroline Griffin, Nathan Field, Jacob Pasre, John 
Tapley. 

Cambridgeport. — E. F. Valentine, N. C. Valentine, Martha 
Valentine, Jane Valentine, Moses B. Houghton, Almira Hough- 
ton, Moses Ward, Ira Ward, Amos Hazeltine, Phebe Hazeltine, 
Susan Hazeltine. 

Cambridge. — Josiah Johnson, Jonathan Hunt, Betsey Hunt, 
Ozias Morse, Sullivan B. Ball, William Hunnewell. 

In comparing the Narrative of Miss R. with the Report 
of the Boston Committee, we ask those who may suppose 
they meet with any material contradiction, to bear in mind 
that there is one error pervading nearly the whole of that 
very able and forcible document. It is this — adopting as 
facts the exculpatory and laudatory statements regarding 
the Convent, made by the Superior and her Nuns, and the 
Bishop and his Priests. Thus, the Committee vouch for 
the propriety and tenderness of the penances imposed, of 
which they knew nothing ; they assume a distinction be- 
tween the Ursuline and other Nuns, which does not exist ; 
declaring that they" are openly engaged in the most useful 
and elevated offices of humanity in the presence of the 
world," and that " their dwelling was accessible at proper 
times to the parents and friends of its numerous inmates." 
But how accessible ? Did any Protestant parent or guar- 
dian ever see the school room, or the sleeping or eating 
rooms in which fifty of their daughters were taught, fed, and 



42 INTRODUCTION. 

lodged 1 No. Was there ever any examination or public 
exercise of the scholars, which their parents were allowed 
to witness ? None. Even Hon. S. P. P. Fay. who states 
in his testimony on the trial of Buzzell that he had had 
daughters in the Convent six years, and had visited it at 
all times, also declares on oath — "I never saw the school 
at the Convent, and never but once went beyond the par- 
lor. When I wished to see my children, they were sent 
into the parlor, and when I wished to see any of the 
" Community," (their teachers,) saw them also in the par- 
lor. The only time I went beyond the parlor, was once 
when I saw the ceremony of taking the white veil," (pro- 
bably in the chapel.) Levi Thaxter, Esq. another highly 
intelligent Protestant patron of the Convent, testified that 
he was never in the school, though he went to the Convent 
very frequently. He saw his daughters in the parlor. 
When he wished to see any one they were sent for. 

This, then, is the whole amount of" the dwelling being 
accessible at proper times to the parents and friends" of 
the pupils there. They were admitted to a common parlor, 
and not permitted to enter any other room in that spacious 
establishment. No Protestant eye ever saw the apart- 
ments of the Nuns, except on the occasion when the se- 
lectmen of Charlestown examined the building by appoint- 
ment, the day of the riot. Even the physician, as we 
understand, never saw any of the Religieuse, to prescribe 
for them, in their private apartments. When sick, they 
were attended by the infirmarian, one of their own order. 

An attempt to establish a Protestant school on such a 
plan of secrecy as this, would not be tolerated by judicious 
parents a moment. Are Catholic instructers of young 
ladies more entitled to confidence in these respects than 
Protestant teachers would be ? Suppose a community of 
Episcopalian females should open a seminary for young 
ladies, and admit no person to go beyond a certain common 
visiting room. Suppose, that while they refused access to 
all other men or women, they freely admitted to their most 
private apartments, at all times of day or night, a number 
of clergymen, of their own denomination, by whom they 
were required to confess in private, without reserve, ail 
their faults, wishes, and feelings, and submit to any penan- 
ces these clergymen might impose on them, both sexes 
being under a solemn vow, which debarred them from 



I N T R D U CTION. 43 

ever marrying. Suppose one of the rules of the establish- 
ment was never to enter a room without first knocking 
three times, and waiting for the knocks to be returned. 
Would such an institution, so conducted by Protestants, be 
approved? 

We ask a discreet and discerning community, to divest 
themselves of the false notion that the seminary at Mount 
Benedict was invested with a mysterious sanctity any- 
more than our own colleges and schools. All the forms 
of Protestant worship are observed at Harvard college, 
but who thought of charging the young men with " sacri- 
lege," and with intolerance to the Unitarian religion, when 
they committed riots, and depredations upon property 
there last summer, for which they were indicted ? Even 
should our state be disgraced by a lawless mob burning 
down the University chapel, in the impulse of a blind fury, 
incited by vague rumors that a student, who had run 
away, and been carried' back, had been put to deatii ; w r ho 
would think of attributing the deed to " the deep-seated 
repugnance to the" Unitarian " faith and form of worship 
which exists in every" Orthodox "community?" Who 
would call upon us, on this score, to lay aside our "preju- 
dices" against Unitarianism ? 

Where is the distinction between the two cases? The 
Convent was either a religious establishment, for the wor- 
ship of Roman Catholics, or it was a seminary of learning 
lor the education of Protestant young ladies. If it were 
..he former, it was no place for Protestant children. If it 
*-ere the latter, then it is entitled to no sanctity; its "ves- 
sels" are no more " sacred," its " cross" is no more " holy," 
ts " vestments" are no more " consecrated," than are the 
furniture and wardrobe of the teachers of a Protestant 
echool. Surely it will not be pretended that a Nunnery 
"n one room of a building can sanctify a school kept in 
•nother, by the Nuns themselves as teachers. 

God forbid that we should say one word in extenuation 
ii the outrage upon the Convent. It was every thing vile 
which a midnight attack upon the dwelling of defenceless 
females could be, where neither virtue nor life were sought 
or assailed ; but we protest against the attempts that have 
been made in reports, in legal arguments, and even in ju- 
dicial charges, to exaggerate this outrage, as " a scene of 
popular madness and of culpable official neglect, that can 



44 INTRODUCTION. 

hardly find a parallel in that period of the French Revolu- 
tion which will ever be remembered as the reign of ter- 
ror." It was not an attack upon the religious worship of 
the Roman Catholics, and it did not have its origin in " a- 
spirit of intolerance, fatal to the genius of our institutions." 
There are six hundred and forty Roman Catholic church- 
es and mass houses in the United States, and who ever 
heard of religious worship in any of them being disturbed ? 
No longer ago than the 26th of October, 1834, a splendid 
new Catholic cathedral at St. Louis, Missouri, was con- 
secrated on Sunday, amidst the discharging of cannon 
and the ringing of bells ! and later still, a Protestant 
senator of Ohio, standing in the streets of Cincinnati, 
was compelled to take his hat off, in honor to the Catholic 
ceremony of the passing host. Here in our own city of 
Boston, which we are striving so hard to brand with "in- 
tolerance," what religious society has ever enjoyed more 
privileges than have always been extended to the Catho- 
lics ? Whose presses are more indulged in the full licen- 
tiousness of attack upon their religious opponents, than 
the two Catholic presses of Boston? One of them, the 
Catholic Sentinel, not a month ago, held the following 
excessively gross language, reflecting on tne purity of the 
wives and daughters of all Protestant Christians who wor- 
ship at the Methodist Episcopal Church. That paper of 
February the 7th, 1835, speaking of a young man who had 
been converted from the Catholic to the" Protestant religion, 
says that " he is loved as an Adonis by these incontinent 
women and girls who go to the assignation churches to 
consecrate their hearts, not to God, but to the passion of 
illicit love." 

Here is the real intolerance in this matter. The pre- 
vailing notion seems to be that true toleration requires 
Protestants to shut up their mouths and their presses 
against Catholics, but that the Catholics may say any 
thing they please against Protestants ! Religious tolerance 
or intolerance has no more just connection with the de- 
struction of the Catholic school at Mount Benedict, than 
it had with the riots last summer against anti-slavery 
societies in New York. Orthodox churches were destroy- 
ed by lawless mobs in those outrages, because anti- 
slavery lectures had been delivered in them; but who cried 
out religious intolerance then? Who thought that " the 



INTRODUCTION. 45 

moving cause of such violence was deep-seated repug- 
nance to the" Orthodox " faith and form of worship f" 
And yet this might have been assigned as the cause of 
those riots, with the same propriety a majority of a com- 
mittee in the Massachusetts Legislature have recently 
declared that the moving cause of the destruction of the 
Ursuline Convent was " that deep-seated repugnance to 
the Catholic faith and form of worship, which exists in 
almost every Protestant community." That highly in- 
telligent committee go farther, ana really deprecate the 
existence of " otrong prejudices against the peculiarities 
of that faith." "Prejudice?" Is our opposition to the 
" peculiarities" of Romish indulgences and auricular con- 
fessions a prejudice ? Is our " repugnance" to the establish- 
ment in this country of the monastic institutions which 
Luther put down three hundred years ago, and which even 
Spain and other Catholic countries are beginning to abo- 
lish, a " prejudice 7" If this be intolerance, then it would 
be intolerant to oppose in any form the " peculiarities" of 
the Inquisition, should it finally, after being driven out of 
Europe, take refuge in Massachusetts. 

This cry of intolerance against ourselves, because a 
villainous mob have burnt down a Catholic school-house, 
is unjust to our own character and institutions, and ought 
to be arrested before it becomes stamped forever by the 
seal of history. The Propaganda of Rome, and the 
founders of the Leopold fund in Austria, to convert heretics 
in America, could not have found better missionaries for 
their purpose, than the scoundrels who burnt the Convent. 
Our own public acts and documents are at this moment 
quoted most effectually in the great West, by the Catholics, 
to excite sympathy for their religion, by representing it as 
terribly persecuted in this land of professed tolerance. It 
was the mistaken impulse of popular indignation, fomented 
by the elopement and mysterious return to the Convent of 
Miss Harrison, and by the indiscreet threats of the Su- 
perior to the selectmen of Charlestown, that " the Bishop 
has twenty thousand of the vilest Irishmen at his com 
mand, and there will be a retaliation ; you will have your 
houses torn dcncn over your heads, and you may read your 
riot act till your throats are sore, and you'll not quell 
them."* — It was these " facts that contributed to the ex- 

* Mr. Attorney-General Austin, in his eloquent argument against 



46 I N T K D V C X I N . 

citeincnt which preceded the outrage, and led to its com- 
mission," and not, as we have permitted ourselves to be 
made to believe by the Catholics themselves, "a spirit of 
intolerance fatal to the genius of our institutions. "t 

What then is our duty as Christians and good citizens ? 
To tell the truth, or to keep back the truth, for fear that 
" offences must eome ?" Are wc not bound to bring this 
question back to its true position, as an outrage upon pri- 
vate property and personal right, an invasion of domestic 
security and the immunity of habitation, and an offence 
against public justice and public decency? Let us treat 
it as a civUj and not as a religious question, condemning it 
as strongly as if it were the destruction of a Protestant 
school- house by a lawless rriob ; laid thus justly relieve 
ourselves of the mountain of odium we have been laboring 
to heap upon our institutions, as if there really had been a 
terrible " spirit of religious intolerance" toward the Roman 
Catholic worship " unexpectedly developed among us." 

It does not follow that we. must approve of the institu- 
tion at Mount Benedict, because we abhor the act by which 
it was destroyed. We need not turn Catholics in order to 
prove that we are not intolerant Protestants. We are not 
obliged to unite with Romanists, in proclaiming our own 
religious intolerance, in order to show that we sympathize 

Buzzel), says, in relation to this fact sworn to by Mr. Edward Cut- 
ter : — '• She (the Superior) is accused of having lold Mr. Cutter 
that 'the Bishop had twenty thousand of the vilest Irishmen under 
his control,' and she acknowledges (much as such an acknowledg- 
ment might be supposed to operate against her) that 6he said so, or 
something to that effect. " 

t The origin of the mob has been ascribed, by the Superior her- 
self, to the right cause. That lady, when under oath, testified, 
that while the Convent was in flames, " she told Mr. E. CtitUr 
that it all originated from Miss Harrison going to his house.' 4 
Judge Fay also testified, that he left his daughter in the Convent, 
and went home leaving a mob at the gate of the Convent, the night 
of the riot, satisfied that no violence would be attempted, because, 
knowing no cause for any other excitement but Miss Harrison 
leaving the Convent, and believing this was all explained, he did 
not feel alarmed. It did not occur to him that there was any other 
cause to produce such a result, (the riot.) And yet, Jive months 
after, Judge Fay discovers and publishes the discovery, that Miss 
R. was the whole cause of the mob, because she had said to his 
wife nearly two years ago, that she hoped to be an instrument of 
showing the truth ! 



INTRODUCTION. 47 

with them for their loss of property by violence. We are 
not called upon to shut the door against all secessions from 
Catholic Nunneries, by lending our help to carry into effect, 
against a Protestant daughter of one of our own citizens, 
the dogma of " mother church," that whenever a Catho- 
lic changes his religion, his motives and conduct are to be 
invariably suspected, and his honesty' never trusted.''' 

No. We are bound to put forth all the vigilance and 
majesty of the laws to detect, and punish and redress this 
outrage upon the peace and dignity of the commonwealth ; 
but we are not bound to deplore our " repugnance" to the 
Catholic religion as a disreputable "prejudice," and least 
of all are we called on to pronounce panegyrics upon 
Nunneries and Catholic seminaries, in order to indemnify 
the sufferers by inducing more Protestant Christians to 
neglect our own schools, and send their daughters to be 
educated in a Convent. 

It is a question affecting education, and not affecting re- 
ligious toleration ; and it is time to correct the error that 
there is no distinction in matters of religious concernment 
between a Catholic Monastery and a Catholic Church; 
between a seminary for educating Protestant girls by 
Catholic teachers, and a purely religious Community of 
Catholics, exercising their forms of devotion without dis- 
turbing the public peace, or obstructing others in their re- 
ligious worship. Nehner should it be forgotten that the 
constitution, which declares that " all religious sects and 
denominations shall be equally under the protection of 
the law," also declares, that to be entitled to such protec- 
tion, they must " demean themselves peaceably and as 
good citizens of the commonwealth." 

In one word,' and as a full justification of the present 
publication of these Suggestions and the accompanying 
Narrative ; we ask, if females who are hereafter to become 
models of fashion in our most refined circles of society, 
and the future mothers of American citizens, are to be 
educated in Catholic Convents, is it not a matter of vital 
importance, that the interior discipline of such institutions 
should be fully made known ? Our maxim is, " Rrove all 
things, and hold fast that which is good." 

NOTE.— The Boston Committee claim an exemption for Ursu- 
line Convents from the " popular odium" yrhich they admit is just 
against other Cloisters, on the ground that the former are devoted 



48 INTRODUCTION. 

to education and works of charity. They can have read history 
to little purpose, if they do not know that the great argument in 
favor of all Monasteries, three hundred years ago, and since, was 
and ever has been, that they were seats of learning and hospitals 
of charity. Take the following from Kecs' Cyclopaedia. 

" Although none in this enlightened period can approve either 
the original establishment or continued subsistence of Monasteries, 
yet the destruction of them was felt and lamented, for a conside- 
rable time, as a great evil. One inconvenience that attended their 
dissolution was the loss of many valuable books, for during the 
dark ages religious houses were the repositories of literature and 
science. Besides, they were schools of education and learning, 
for every Convent had one person or more appointed for this pur- 
pose, and all the neighbors that desired it might have their 
children taught grammar and church music there, icithout any 
expense. In the Nunneries, also, young females were taught to 
work and read, and not only people of the lower ranks, but most 
of the noblemen's and gentlemen's daughters icere instructed in 
those places. All the Monasteries were also, In effect, great hos- 
pitals, and were most of them obliged to relieve many poor people 
every day. They were likewise houses of entertainment for all 
travellers. And the nobility and gentry not only provided for 
their old servants in these houses, but for their younger children 
and impoverished friends, by making them first monks and nuns, 
and in time priors and prioresses, abbots and abbesses." 

It follows, therefore, that if the argument of the Boston Commit- 
tee, in favor of establishing Ursuline Convents, is a good one, it is 
iust as good for re-establishing the whole monastic system which 
the Reformation abolished, three hundred years ago. In fact it 
would seem as if the admirers of Catholic Cloisters in this country, 
really meant to set about seriously reforming back the Reforma- 
tion I 



SIX MONTHS IN A CONVENT. 



In the summer of 1S26, while passing 
the Nunnery on Mount Benedict, Charles- 
town, Mass., in company with my school- 
mates, the question was asked by a young 
lady, who I think was a Roman Catholic, 
how we should like to become Nuns. I 
replied, (after hearing her explanation of 
their motives for retirement, (fee.) "I 
should like it well," and gave as my prin- 
cipal reasons, their apparent holy life, my 
lave of seclusion, &c. The conversation 
which passed at that time made but little 
impression upon my mind. But soon af- 
ter, the " Religieuse"* came from Boston 

* By the terra " Religieuse w I mean those who constituted the 
Ursuline Community. 

3 



50 SIXMONTHS 

to take possession of Mount Benedict as 
their new situation. We were in school, 
but had permission to look at them as 
they passed. One of the scholars re- 
marked, that they were Roman Catho- 
lics, and that our parents disapproved of 
their teuets. The young lady who before 
asked the question, how we should like 
to become Nuns, and whose name I have 
forgotten, was affected even to tears in 
consequence of what passed, and begged 
them to desist, saying, " they were saints: 
God's people; and the chosen few;" that 
" they secluded themselves that they 
might follow the Scriptures more perfect- 
ly, pray for the conversion of sinners, 
and instruct the ignorant* in the princi- 
ples of religion." This conversation, 
with the solemn appearance of the Nuns, 
affected me very sensibly, owing pro- 
bably to the peculiar state of my feel- 
ings. The impressions thus made re-. 

• By the werd ignorant is meant what they term heretics. 



IN A C ON VENT. 51 

mained on my mind several months; 
and at the age of thirteen years and four 
months I asked my parents if they were 
willing I should become an inmate of the 
convent. This proposition my parents 
were inclined to treat as visionary ; but 
they soon discovered themselves to be in 
an error. Nothing of consequence was 
said upon the subject; but soon after, 
owing to the delicacy of my health, and 
other reasons, it was deemed expedient for 
me to visit my friends in New Hampshire, 
and being fond of retirement, this arrange- 
ment accorded very well with my feelings. 

While in New Hampshire I spent ma- 
ny pleasant hours, which I think of with 
delight. Memory oft brings to view and 
faithfully delineates those hours of retire- 
ment and happiness which I imagined I 
should spend, were I an inhat-tant of a 
cloister. 

While writing this narrative, I often 
lament my little knowledge of history, 
for had I been more acquainted with it, I 



52 SIX MONTHS 

do not think I ever should have united 
myself to an institution of this nature. 
But to proceed ; I never could prevail on 
my parents to say much on this subject. 
I kept silence, resolving in my own mind 
to become acquainted with some one who 
would introduce me to the Superior of the 
Ursuline Community, but did not ask any 
one till after the death of my mother. 
Previous to that event, I had become ac- 
quainted with Miss M. EL a domestic in 
Mr. H. J. K.'s family, near my father's 
house, in Charlestown. 

After my mother's decease, while re- 
siding with my father, my sisters being 
absent, Miss H. came to our house and 
begged me to keep her as a domestic a 
little while, as she had no place. She 
had walked a great way for the purpose 
of seeing Mr. K., who had moved away. 
This was in the fall of ]S30. After con- 
sulting with my father, I concluded to let 
her stay. She found me in great trouble 
and grief, in consequence of the absence 



1NAC0NVENT. 53 

of my two younger sisters, whom I very 
dearly loved, and who had gone to reside 
with my sisters in Boston. After family 
prayers were over, and I about retiring, 
I stepped from my room to see if Miss H. 
had extinguished her lamp, when, to my 
surprise, I found her kneeling and hold- 
ing a string of beads. I asked her what 
she was doing. She did not speak for 
some time. When she did, she said she 
was saying her "Hail Marys."* I asked 
her what the " Hail Marys" were, at the 
same time taking hold of the beads. She 
then said, " I say my prayers on these to 
the Blessed Virgin." My friends will of 
course excuse my curiosity at this time, 
for I had never before learned their man- 
ner of praying to saints and angels. Be- 
fore I left her, she showed me an Ag- 



* Catholic Prayer, (translated from the Latin.')— "Hail, 
Mary ! full of grace ; our Lord ia with thee ! Blessed art thou 
among women, and blessed ia the fruit of thy womb, Jesus ! 
Holy Mary, mother of God, pray for us, sinners, now and at the 
hour of our death. Amen. ' ' 



54 SIX MONTHS 

nus Dei* which she wore to preserve 
herself from the temptations of Satan. I 
cannot remember all the conversation 
which passed the next day on the sub- 
ject, but I learned that she had been ac- 
quainted with the Nuns in Boston, and 
was also acquainted with the Superior. 

The first pleasant day, I asked her to 
accompany me to the Superior, which she 
did, and appeared by her questions to 
know my motive. She introduced me to 
the Superior in the following manner. 
We were invited by a Lay Sisterf to sit, 
who, after retiring, in a few moments 
made her appearance, requesting Miss H. 
to see her in another room. Soon after, 
the Superior came in and embraced me 
with much seeming affection, and put the 
following questions to me : — how long 
since the death of my mother ; whether I 
ever attended the Catholic church, or 

• Lamb of God ;— a small piece of wax sewed up in silk in the 
form of a heart, 
t Those Nuns who are occupied in domestic affairs. 



IN A CONVENT. 

knew any thing of the principles of their 
religion ; what I had heard respecting 
them; of their order; my views of it; 
what progress I had made in my studies ; 
whether I had attended much to history ; 
knew any thing of embroidery, draw- 
ing, or painting, or any other ornamental 
work; whether I had ever assisted in 
domestic affairs. After which questions, 
taking my hand, she said, " O, it feels 
more like a pancake than any thing 
else."^ She inquired in what capacity I 
desired to enter the institution, whether 
as a Recluse or a scholar ; whether I had 
done attending school, &c. I replied that 
I did not consider my education complete ; 
that I wished to go into the school at- 
tached to the Nunnery on the same terms 
as other pupils, until I had made suffi- 



• This may appear laughable, but as I intend to publish all 
which will be for the benefit of the reader, I cannot refrain from 
mentioning this, in order to show the course of flattery, &c. made 
use of by the Superior and those connected with the establishment, 
to draw the inexperienced into their power, and make them con- 
verts to the religion of the Pope. 



56 SIX MONTHS 

cient progress to take the veil and become 
a Recluse ; that my father was averse to 
my becoming a Nwi, but I was of opinion 
that he would concur with my Episcopal 
friends, in uot objecting to my becoming 
a pupil. In the course of the interview, 
the Superior conversed much upon the 
Scriptures, and intimated that I ought to 
make any sacrifice, if necessary, to adopt 
the religion of the cross; repeating the 
words of our Saviour, " He that loveth 
father or mother more than me, is not 
worthy of me," &c. 

At a subsequent interview the Superior 
desired me to see the Bishop, or clergy, 
remarking, she believed I had a vocation 
for a religious life, and the Bishop would 
tell me whether I had or not. She also 
asked if I was acquainted with a Catho- 
lic friend who would introduce me to the 
Bishop, and mentioned a Mr. R., who 
would introduce me to him. I was un- 
acquainted with Mr. R., but had seen 
him at my sister's house in Boston. She 



IN A CONVENT. 57 

said that the Bishop or Mr. R. would 
also discuss the matter with my father, 
and reconcile him to Catholicity. After 
consulting some friends who were in fa- 
vor of the Catholic religion, I consented 
to see Mr. R. ; who, being requested, 
called at my father's, gave me some 
scripture proofs of the infallibility of the 
Romish Church; as, "Thou art Peter, 
and upon this Rock I build my church, 
and the gates of hell shall not prevail 
against it;" and "whose sins ye retain 
they are retained, and whose sins ye re- 
mit they are remitted." " He that will 
not hear the church, let him be to thee as 
an heathen man and a publican." He 
(Mr. R.) desired I would secrete the pa- 
per upon which the texts were quoted. 
He then took his leave, saying he would 
call to see me in town soon at the Misses 
S., when he would introduce me to the 
Bishop. 

1 will here remark, that previous to my 
joining the Community, I heard of many 



58 SIX MONTHS 

miracles wrought by Catholic Priests. 
Mrs. G. brought a lady one day in a 
chaise to show me her eyes, which were 
restored by means of a Priest, Dr. O'F. 
She, as Mrs. G. stated, was totally blind, 
but having faith in miracles, she knelt to 
her confessor, requesting him to heal her. 
After touching her eyes with spittle and 
holy oil, she immediately "received her 
sight." 

Before the next interview with the Su- 
perior, I visited my Protestant friends, the 
Misses S.j when Mr. R. called and pro- 
posed to introduce me to the Bishop. He 
accordingly accompanied me to the Bish- 
op's, and introduced me as the young 
lady who wished to become acquainted 
with the tenets of the Church, and recom- 
mended to him by the Honored Mother the 
Superior, with directions for his ascertain- 
ing my vocation as a fit subject for a Re- 
cluse. The Bishop asked me if I knew the 
meaning of the word " Nun ;" how long I 
had thought of becoming a Nun ; my opi- 



IN A CONVENT. 59 

nion, and the opinion of my friends, in re- 
gard to Catholicity. And as my feelings 
were easily wrought upon, more particu- 
larly at this time, questions were put to 
me, which more mature deliberation leads 
me to think were put under the impres- 
sion that I was very ignorant, and which 
were very unpleasant for me to answer. 
He even went so far as to judge my se- 
cret thoughts, saying he knew what was 
then passing in my mind. I then took 
my leave, undecided what course to pur- 
sue, and very little edified by the conver- 
sation of the Rt. Rev. Bishop. The Bish- 
op gave directions to Mr. R. to pur- 
chase a Catechism of the Catholic Church 
in the diocese of Boston, (published with 
the approbation of the Rt. Rev. Bishop 
Fenwick,) which I refused to accept. 

About a week afterwards I called upon 
the Superior, and made her acquainted 
with my conversation with the Bishop; 
likewise with my refusal of the Cate- 
chism. On learning that my desire was 



60 SIX MONTHS 

still strong to become an inmate of the 
Convent, she smilingly said, that for one 
so young as I was, to wish to seclude 
myself from the world and live the life 
of a Religieiise, was impossible. I re- 
marked I did not like the Bishop so well 
as I expected. She exclaimed, "O! he 
is one of the servants of God ; he did so 
to try your vocation;" and said that I 
should like him the better the next time 
I saw him.* After recommending me to 
pray for grace, she caused me to kneel 
and receive her blessing ; after which she 
embraced me, and I returned to my fa- 
ther's house. I shortly after visited the 
Misses H. in Charlestown, and was intro- 
duced to Mrs. G., who was acquainted 
with the tenets of the Catholic Church, 
and also with Mr. B., the Catholic Priest. 
After a short acquaintance with her I 

• I did like him the next time that I called upon him, for he 
conversed in the most solemn manner, and after learning my 
name, said, "Is it possible that you have a saint's name !" and 
gave me St. Teresa, as my namesake, a beautiful wax figure, ha- 
bited as an Ursuline Nun. 



INACONVENT. 61 

was requested to converse with Mr. B. 
the Priest, which I did, and liked him 
very much. He also supplied me with 
books, from which I learned that I ought 
to venerate and receive the religion of the 
Catholic Church as the only one and true 
religion. 

On Good Friday evening, I heard the 
most affecting Catholic sermon,^ in 
Charlestown, I ever listened to, upon the 
Passion of our divine Redeemer. I soon 
after visited at Mrs. G.'s, where I saw a 
fine drawing, exhibiting the peaceful and 
flourishing condition of the Holy and 
Apostolic Church, until the time of the 
Reformation under Martin Luther. Mrs. 
G. recounted the sufferings of the Catho- 
lic Church in consequence of this "pre- 
tended" reformation. My friends will 
understand, that by this time I had be- 
come a constant visiter at the Convent. 
On being sent for at one time by the Su- 
perior, I met the Bishop at the Convent, 

• I had before attended the lectures in Boston, at the time of 
the controversy between Dr. BeechaT and the Catholics. 



62 SIX MONTHS 

who was playing with the dogs ; at the 
same time the Superior hastily approach- 
ing, embraced me in the most affection- 
ate manner ; as she did ever afterwards 
when I visited her at the Convent. 
She introduced me to the Bishop again, 
who did not appear to recognise me, and 
said that I was sister to the lady who 
visited him m Boston. At this time I 
thought the Superior and Bishop the 
most angelic persons living, and in one 
instance gave way to anger in conse- 
quence of hearing a few words spoken 
against them. On being told that my 
mind remained still the same, the Bishop 
remarked, "I will pray for you," and re- 
commended to me the advantage of con- 
tinuing under the instruction of the Priest, 
and said he should like to see my father 
or sister. 

After the interview with the Bishop, I 
returned to my father's, who was much 
displeased with the steps I had taken, 
and bade me renounce all connection with 



INACONVENT. 63 

the Catholics, or leave my friends. (This 
he said in a moment of excitement.) 
But, being so much attracted by the ap- 
parent holiness of the inmates of the 
Convent, and viewing this as the only 
true Church, I wished to become a mem- 
ber of it. 

Perhaps it will be proper to state some 
of Mrs. G.'s conversation. After hearing 
from her a pleasing account of the life of 
a Nun. &c., I mentioned I should like to 
become one, and would, if I could pre- 
vail on my father and friends to consent ; 
but unless I could, I must despair, as 
they would not be willing to advance the 
money which would be needed to go 
there. She replied, " It is not money that 
will ever induce them to take you; it 
must all be the work of God." She 
asked me what my Church friends* said 
upon the subject. On my telling her that 
they were reconciled to my entering the 

* My friends of the Episcopal Church thought I could have 
the privilege of writing when I dasired to see them. 



64 SIX MONTHS 

institution, particularly as a scholar ; that 
they liked the seclusion of the Convent, 
&c. Mrs. G. stated she could see not the 
least objection to my following my own 
inclination. I then took my leave, 
promising to see her at my friend Mrs. 
H.'s. The next time I saw her, she ad- 
vised me to leave my father's house and 
all, for the sake of Christ. She said she 
would procure me ornamental work, 
which would support me, independent of 
my relatives, &c., which she did. I 
thanked her most heartily, and told her 
I thought I should be happy, if I were 
certain of going to a Cloister. She gave 
me her word that I should. I then took 
up with her advice and left my friends, 
I thought for life, as I had no doubt but 
that I should soon enter the Convent, re- 
solving to leave all for the love of God, 
and to consecrate the remainder of my 
days to his service. I believed Mrs. G. 
to be my sincere friend, and an Episcopa- 
lian, as she had always told mc she was, 
and placed myself under her protection. 



INACONVENT. 65 

After visiting some Protestant friends, I 
found means to procure my clothing, &c., 
and went immediately to reside opposite 
the Catholic church. I employed myself 
while there in doing ornamental work for 
my Catholic friends, and also in working 
lace for the Bishop, the altar, &c. About 
this time I was offered compensation, 
but refused it, and received a present of 
ten dollars, a crucifix, a pearl cross, and 
two hooks, with my name stamped upoa 
them in gold letters, which presents I re- 
ceived as tokens of kindness and friend- 
ship.* And wishing to deny myself of 
any thing worldly, I gave up what jew- 
elry I had, telling them I knew of no 
greater sacrifice I could at that time make, 
than to give up all the treasures my dear 
mother left me. I also gave my globe 

• I wish to have it understood, that the lettering on these books 
was my new name, " Mary Agnes Teresa." My baptismal name, 
it will be recollected, is Rebecca Theresa. The books were 
given me by Mrs. G., who said they were from the Bishop; and 
he afterwards, in the Convent, confirmed the statement, saying, ha 
knew at that time of my vocation, and for that reason ??^i ZA a 
religious name, which was a Saint's name. 

3* 



66 SIX MONTHS 

and goldfish, which were a present to 
me. At that time I thought I was holy, 
and could hardly speak to a Protestant. 
I had read many Catholic hooks. My 
time was wholly employed in working for 
the Catholics, except my hours for medi- 
tation and prayers. 

The ordinance of baptism* was ad- 
ministered to me by Mr. B., himself and 
a Mrs. P. standing sponsors for me ; my 
former baptism being considered by the 
Catholics invalid. While in Charlestown, 
I stood sponsor for Mrs. G.'s daughter, of 
whom I shall speak in the course of this 
narrative. I would here remark, had I 
taken up with the advice given me by 
many of my friends, I should not now 
have the unpleasant duty of relating these 
facts ; but so it was ; I had imbibed a re- 
lish for what I supposed to be " real 
pleasures," but which, alas ! I have found, 

• At the time of my baptism, I was anointed with oil ; a piece 
of salt was put in my mouth, the Priest breathing three times upon 
me, and touching my eyes, ears, and nose with spittle, speaking 
Latin all the while. They profess to take these ceremonies from 



IN A CONVENT. 67 

by sad experience, to be like the " waters 
of Marali." At an interview with the 
Superior, I was introduced to two of the 
" chosen Religieuse," the mother assis- 
tant and Mrs. Mary Benedict. The first 
question asked, was what word I brought 
from my friends. On my hesitating to 
give an answer, she insisted upon knowing 
what they said ; on which I told her all 
they had said, word for word, as nearly 
as I could recollect ; also the advice I re- 
ceived from a Mr. E., which appeared to 
displease her much; and although she 
strove to suppress her feelings, it was evi- 
dent she was much displeased. 

After some questions respecting Mr. E., 
the Superior remarked, he was none other 
than the man who made children's books. 
She also questioned me with regard to a 
conversation which took place between 
my brother and myself on Charlestown 
bridge, (which was published in the 
" Jesuit,"^ highly exaggerated,) and ap- 

• I afterwards asked Priest B. to explain wfeat it meant ; be 



68 SIX MONTHS 

peared greatly pleased with the language 
of my brother, saying, with peculiar em- 
phasis, " O, you will die a martyr to the 
cause of truth, should you die under per- 
secution." I took my leave of her, pro- 
mising to call again when she should de- 
sire. 

After this, she wrote a letter to my 
father, of the contents of which I was 
then ignorant, but have since learned it 
contained offers of two or three quarters' 
schooling, free of expense. My father 
says he treated it with contempt ; and his 
answer by the bearer was briefly this : 
" he wished me to have nothing to do 
with that institution ; that my friends 
would prefer my going to a Protestant 
seminary." At my next interview with 
the Superior, she however told me, my 
father had become reconciled to my re- 
maining with them two or three quar- 
ters ; after which time, he would inform 



said Dr. O f F. made a mistake In writing it for the press ; and 
corrected. For the paragraph from ihe 



INACONVENT. 69 

them whether he could consent to have 
me stay there longer, as a teacher of mu- 
sic* She previously presented me with 
some slate pongee, which was the uni- 
form dress worn Ly the scholars in the 
public apartments ; telling me at the same 
time to prepare myself and have my 
things ready by such a day. She asked 
me, if I should come without the consent 
of my Boston friends, if I supposed they 
would insert any thing in the public pa- 
pers, or make any disturbance, or come 
there for me? to which I replied, I thought 
not. After preparing myself for a public 
reception, I visited the Superior, when 
she said, if I would place myself under 
her care from this time, she would pro- 
tect me forever ; and particularly from the 
persecution of the "heterodox;" and she 

• I attended music, because the Superior desired it ; and she as- 
sured me there was no need of assistance from my friends, even 
if my father had consented, for I could with my needle be of suf- 
ficient use to the Community to support myself without their 
assistance. She also told me I should study when I chose, and 
might have the privilege of coming into the Religieuse Community 
to recite to her. 



70 SIX MONTHS 

looked to heaven above for her reward.* 
She then stated that the Bishop had con- 
cluded to receive me, not as a member of 
the public department, but asa" Novi- 
tiate," which would screen me from the 
questions of the Protestant scholars. She 
also added, that I should be received as 
the other Sisters were, and that we were 
to support ourselves by our talents and 
industry. The names of the Sisters were, 
Mrs. Mary Ursula,! Miss Mary Magda- 

• I wish it to be understood, that, being influenced by the Superior 
and Mrs. G.'s advice, after hearing Romish preaching and 
reading their books, I went to board at Mrs. H.'s, opposite the 
Catholic church, where I employed my time in ornamental work ; 
visited the Convent often, and informed myself as much as possi- 
ble of a Recluse's life ; lived as retired as the " Charity Sisters," 
except visiting some of. my relatives three times, twice accompa- 
nied with Romish friends. 

t Mrs. Mary Ursula came from New-Hampshire, and was re- 
ceived as Choir Religieuse. She was the eldest in the Commu- 
nity; this I learned from the Superior, who often reprimanded 
her for saying many words in an uncouth, rustic manner, (such 
as daoun for down, &c.) telling her of her ignorance, &c. She 
never refused complying w*th the rules, but when reprimanded, 
would kneel at once, and kiss the floor. I often wished to ask if 
she was happy, but dared not speak (without permission) to her. 
Their proceedings appeared so strange, that I was in continual 
fear. The Novices frequently trembled when approaching " tho 
mother," particularly at confession. 



IN A CONVENT. 71 

lene, Miss Mary Joseph, and Miss Mary- 
Austin. The latter was both teacher and 
pupil. - I answered that I should like those 
conditions best. She then desired me to 
kneel down and take the following obli- 
gation : "I do, with the grace and assis- 
tance of Almighty God, renounce the 
world for ever, and place myself under 
your protection, from this day to conse- 
crate myself to his honor and glory, in the 
house of God, and to do whatever obedi- 
ence prescribes, and tell no one of this 
obligation but Mr. B., in confession.'' ' 
After this, the Superior summoned two of 
the " Choir Religieuse," who conducted 
me to the garden, where they left me to 
amuse myself. Presently the Superior 
joined me, wishing to know how I liked 
the garden, the flowers, &c. Observing a 
pocket album in my hand, she asked 
what I had hoarded up there; some 
worldly goods 1 She took it, and examin- 
ing it, desired to know if I wished to 
keep some money I had in it, (fifteen dol- 



72 S I X M O N T H S 

lars.) I replied no ; as I was going to join 
them, I would intrust it to her care. She 
also requested me to sing one tune ; I com- 
plied, and sung u There's nothing true but 
Heaven." Her observation was, she 
should wish me to commence immediately 
with music. I then left the Convent, and 
attended the sacraments of confession and 
communion ; and on Sabbath morning, 
August 7th, 1831, 1 was attended to the 
gate of the Convent by my friend, Mrs. 
G. I was shown into the public parlor 
by the Lay Sister, and was requested to 
kneel and continue my devotion, until the 
Superior made her appearance. She soon 
came, and made a sign for me to follow 
her. She led the way into a long room, 
darkened, at one end of which stood a 
large crucifix, made of bone, which I was 
afterwards informed was made of the 
bones of saints. The Superior told me, 
m a whisper, it was the time of silence. 
But after arranging my dress, she took 
from her toilet a religious garb, which 



IH A CONVENT. 73 

she placed upon my head, and bade me 
kiss it, saying it had been blessed by the 
Bishop. She then pronounced a short Latin 
prayer, while I was kneeling, at the same 
time giving me her blessing. After this, 
she conducted me into another apartment, 
where was a stranger, whom she called a 
Postulant ; # and giving me permission to 
speak, she left the room. A Lay Sister 
then entered the room with refreshment, 
after partaking which, we had permission 
to walk in one particular path in the 
garden. This stranger picked up a pear, 
and began to eat it, and invited me to do 
the same; which I declined, being ac- 
quainted with the rules of the Convent, 
which are very strict, as will be learned 
in the course of the narrative. She did 
not regard the rules so strictly as the Su- 
perior required, who, being made ac- 
quainted with her conversation by sepa- 
rately questioning us, sent her away, as 



Candidate for a Recluse. 



74 SIX MONTHS 

she said, to another order ;* but I now 
know that this was not the case. 

To return to our walk in the garden ; 
the bell rang, when we were immediately 
conducted to the Religieuse Choir; and 
here the Superior caused me to kneel three 
times, before I could suit her. After the 
performances were over, which consisted 
of the office of adoration to the Blessed 
Virgin and prayers to the Saints, repeated 
in the Latin tongue, of which 1 knew 
nothing, we proceeded to the refectory, 
where we partook of our " portions." 
After saying Latin, we kneeled and kissed 
the floor, at a signal given by the Supe- 
rior on her snuffbox. Before eating, one 
of the Religieuse said, " In nomine domini 
nostri Jesu Christe,"f all making the sign 

♦ I believed she had gone to another order, and after returning 
to my sisters, told the«m so, (together with my pastor,) that she 
was with the Sisters of Charity ; when, to my surprise, she called 
upon me, said she had never thought of going to another or.^er, 
and that the Superior had not done by her as she agreed. 

t In the name of our Lord Jesus Christ. When opportunity 
offered, I asked the Superior to explain the meaniag She said, in 



IN A CONVENT. 75 

of the cross, and responding, "Amen.' 3 
After receiving our portions, we performed 
several devotions, such as kissing the floor 
and repeating Latin, while the " Ange- 
lus " was ringing. We then went imme- 
diately to the "community." On enter- 
ing this room, the "Novices" kneel and 
repeat the " Ave Maria, "* kiss the floor, 
and seat themselves for recreation, ac- 
cording to the rules given hy the Superi- 
or, entitled, " Rules by the Reverend 
Mother." The following are the rules, 
which were inclosed in a gilt frame and 
suspended in the community ; and it is 

a very solemn manner, " You must not, my dear Sister, give way 
to curiosity. To you not recollect it is against the rules for a 
Religieuse to do so?" I answered, "Yes, Mamere !" and com- 
plied at once, (hy kissing the floor,) when she observed : "A 
Religieuse should never have a will of her own ; as she grew in 
perfection in the order, she would understand what these words 
mean ; it will be revealed to you when you are deserving." She 
taught me to believe that the "Office of the Blessed Virgin," 
(which was in Latin, and which we all repeated, without under- 
standing it.) was none other than that chanted in heaven by the 
Saints, around the throne of the Almighty, and called the sweet 
communion of "All Saints " 
• Ha3 Mary 



76 SIX MONTHS 

the duty of every Novice to read them, at 
least, once a week. 

1. To rise on the appearance of the 
Superior. 

2. When reprimanded, to kneel at orice 
and kiss the floor, until the signal be 
given to rise. 

3. When speaking of the Superior, to 
say our Mother; when speaking to her, 
and to the professed Choir Religieuse, Ma- 
mere; to say Sister, when speaking to the 
Novices ; of them, Miss ; and of the pro- 
fessed Choir, Mrs. ; to say our or ours, in- 
stead of my or mine. 

4. To say " Ave Maria" ever)' time 
we enter the community. 

5. Before entering any room, to give 
three knocks on the door, accompanied by 
some religious ejaculation, and wait until 
they are answered by three from within. 

6. Not to lift our eyes while walking in 
the passage Ways; also, never to touch 
each other's hands. 



INACONVENT. 77 

7. To stand while spoken to by the 
Bishop or Superior, and kneei while 
speaking to them ; to speak in a particu- 
lar tone. 

8. If necessary to speak to the Supe- 
rior during a time of silence, approach 
her kneeling, and speak in whispers. 

9. Never to leave a room without per- 
mission, giving at the same time our rea- 
sons. 

10. To rise and say the "Hour"* 
every time the clock strikes, except when 
the Bishop is present, who, if he wishes, 
makes the signal. 



• " Th% Hqut.—O sacred heart of Jesus ! always united to the 
will of thy Father, grant that ours may be sweetly united in thine. 
Heart of Mary ! an asylum in the land of our captivity, procure 
for us the happy liberty of the children of Jesus. May the souls 
of the faithful departed, through the merits of Christ and mercies 
of God, rest in peace. Amen." 

The above is what is called an Hour ; there is a different, 
though similar one, for each of the twenty- four hours in the day. 
They are written and placed in two gilt frames, over the mantle- 
piece ; twelve over the heart of Mary In one, and twelve over the 
heart of Jesus in the other. Every time the clock strikes, the one 
whose turn it is to lecture rises and says one of them. 



78 IN A CONVENT. 

The following are the written "Rules 
and Penances of our Holy Father, Saint 
Augustine" together with those of Saint 
Ursula, as near as I can recollect. They 
are read at the refectory table every 
week. 

1. To kneel in the presence of the 
Bishop, until his signal to rise. 

2. Never to gratify our appetites, ex- 
cept with his holiness the Bishop's or a 
Father Confessor's permission. 

3. Never to approach or look out of the 
window of the Monastery. 

4. To sprinkle our couches every night 
with holy water. 

5. Not to make a noise in walking over 
the Monastery. 

6. To wear sandals and haircloth ; to 
inflict punishment upon ourselves with 
our girdles, in imitation of a Saint. 

7. To sleep on a hard mattress or couch, 
with one coverlet. 

8. To walk with pebbles in our shoes. 



INACONVENT. 79 

or walk kneeling until a wound is pro- 
duced. Never to touch any thing without 
permission. 

9. Never to gratify our curiosity, or ex- 
ercise our thoughts on any subject, with- 
out our spiritual director's knowledge 
and advice. Never to desire food or water 
between portions. 

10. Every time, on leaving the com- 
munity, to take holy water from the altar 
of the Blessed Virgin, and make the sign 
of the cross. 

11. If a Religieuse persist in disobey- 
ing the Superior, she is to be brought 
before the Bishop of the diocese, and pun- 
ished as he shall think proper. Never to 
smile except at recreation, nor even then 
contrary to religious decorum. 

12. Should the honored Mother, the Su- 
perior, detect a Religieuse whose mind is 
occupied with worldly thoughts, or who 
is negligent in observing the rules of the 
Monastery, which are requisite and ne- 
cessary to her perseverance and perfec- 



80 SIX MONTHS 

tion in a religious life, she should imme- 
diately cause her to retire to her cell, 
where she could enter into a retreat. 

I shall now continue my narrative of 
the remainder of the first day. At re- 
creation, the Postulant and I had permis- 
sion to embrace, in a new form, the Reli- 
gieuse. After that they congratulated me 
on my success, saying they had ever pray- 
ed for me since they had heard of my vo- 
cation. The evening bell for the Latin 
office now rang, and we assembled at the 
choir, where we performed such ceremo- 
nies as I before named, until time of retir- 
ing. As we were strangers, the Superior 
conducted us to the infirmary, where other 
Novices were preparing to retire, and be- 
fore leaving it, bade us not to rise until we 
had orders. Next morning being holy day 
morning, the bell rang at three, instead of 
four, as it usually does, for meditation 
in the choir. While the Angelus* was 

• The Anijelus is the bell rung while repeating the three salu- 
tations and three Hail Marys. 



INACONVENT. 81 

ringing, at five A. M., we were called to 
attend Complin and Prime, until half-past 
six ; then 1 jitany to the Saints. After 
Litany, the bell rang for diet in the re- 
fectory, every morning, except Friday; 
on which day we assembled for confes- 
sion to the Superior. 

The manner of confession to the Superior 
is as follows : the room is first darkened, 
and one lighted wax taper placed upon the 
Superior's throne; and she is considered as 
filling the place or station of the Blessed 
Virgin. After taking their places in the 
greatest order and silence, the Religieuse 
respond. Then the lecturess reads from a 
book, called Rules for the Ursuline Order, 
by Saint Ursula, about complaining of the 
cold, our clothing, food, &c. &c. They 
sit on their feet during the reading, a 
posture extremely painful. The reading 
finished, the Superior whispers to the Sis- 
ters to approach her separately, which they 
do ; each one in her turn approaches, and 
repeats the following : "Our Mother, we ac-* 



82 SIX MONTHS 

knowledge that we have been guilty of 
breaking the rules of our Holy Order, by- 
lifting our eyes while walking in the pas- 
sage-ways; in neglecting to take holy 
water on entering the community and 
choir ; failing in respect to our Superior, 
and veneration to our Father ; failing in 
religious decorum, and in respect to our 
vows, — poverty and obedience ; for which 
we most humbly ask pardon of God, 
penance and forgiveness of you, our Holy 
Mother." As each one finishes, the "Holy 
Mother" gives her advice and penances, 
and her blessing ; they then kiss her {eet, 
and sometimes make the cross with their 
tongues on the floor ; then making their 
inclination, they retire to the choir to per- 
form the penances. 

After they are all assembled in the 
choir, the Superior says, Kyrie eleison, 
and they all answer, Kyrie eleison ; the 
Superior says, Christe eleison, and they 
answer, Christe eleison, &c. &c. She then 
says Litany to the Saints in Latin, be- 
ginning with :: Sancta Maria," and they 



INACONVENT. 83 

respond, " Ora pro nobis," &c. &c. This 
ceremony is very solemn. It is performed 
until eight o'clock, A. M., when we re- 
ceive our portion, sitting on the floor. The 
bell rings at half-past eight for young 
ladies' recreation. Then we attend to 
study until a quarter before eleven ; then 
private lecture until eleven; then bell rings 
for the examination of conscience till a 
quarter past eleven ; then for diet. The 
services at diet >X: are, after repeating 

* Our diet consisted of the plainest kind of food, principally 
vegetables and vegetable soups, Indian puddings, and, very sel- 
dom, meat. Our tea. was made of herbs, sometimes of the bitter- 
est kind. We partook of this diet in imitation of the Holy 
Fathers of the Desert, to mortify our appetites. Pumpkins, 
stewed with molasses and water, served us sometimes as a dessert. 
Occasionally we had mouldy bread to eat. A very insignificant 
piece of butter was sometimes placed on our plates. The Supe- 
rior's diet was far better than ours; semetimes it was sumptuous, 
wine not excepted. I ascertained this, as 1 occasionally, in turn* 
went round to gather the fragments. She sent me, on two occa- 
sions, some apple parings to eat, as a part of my portion. Some- 
times the Religieuse deny themselves any diet ; prostrate, kiss the 
feet of those who remain at table, performing various kinds of 
penance, while the others are eating and listening to the reading. 
Those who have permission to deny themselves in the morning, 
take their work-baskets as they pass to the refectory ; where thsy 
aew by caudle-light, as the lecturesa is reading. This has a so- 
lemn and impressive appearanee. 



84 SIXMONTHS 

Latin : — first, they seat themselves in or- 
der upon a bench, first crossing themselves 
in their appointed places, on one side of a 
long, narrow table ; before each one lies a 
small linen napkin or servet, rolled around 
another small cloth, containing a knife and 
fork ; beside each servet is a plate contain- 
ing the "portion:" then the Superior enters 
and passes along to her table, at the 
head of the room, the Nuns making their 
inclinations as she passes. She then makes 
a signal on her snuff box, and the " Reli- 
gieuse," whose turn it is to speak, says, 
''• Benedicite ;" the Superior answers, " Be- 
nedicite;" and so it continues, in a similar 
manner, from one to the other, the " Effi- 
cient"* repeating a Latin prayer. The Su- 
perior then makes the signal for thelectu- 
ress to read from the Lives of the Saints 
and Martyrs, while the others are eating. 
When the signal is given, each one rolls 
up the knife and fork in the napkin, and 



• The Efficient is one who repeats prayers and officiates during 
the office and serves at Mass. 



INACONVENT. 85 

lays it as she found it ; (they also open it 
at a signal;) and the one whose turn it is 
to do so, after kissing the floor, as a token 
of humility, takes from the drawer a white 
apron and a basket containing a napkin, 
and after putting on the apron, brushes the 
fragments from the tables into the basket, 
and takes the servets, making her inclina- 
tion to each one. She then takes the 
articles off the Superior's table, one by 
one in a napkin, in a solemn manner. If 
any eatables fall on the floor, they must 
be taken up in a napkin, and not by any 
means with the bare hands. 

After this, the Superior makes a signal, 
and the lecturess and before- mentioned 
Religieiise kneel in the middle of the floor 
and kiss it, and immediately rise and join 
the others in repeating the Latin prayers ; 
after which the lecturess rings the An- 
gelus. During this ringing, they all kneel 
and repeat it, then assemble in the com- 
munity for " recreation." During this 
they are permitted to converse with one 



86 SIX MONTHS 

another, but in a particular and low tone, 
and only on such subjects as the Superior 
shall give them ; if she be absent, the 
conversation is usually on the subject last 
read at the table ; and they work during 
the time. After recreation, public* lec- 
tures take place, and at one o'clock the 
bell rings for " visitation" to the altar, 
which, with the Vespers, occupy us an 
hour and a half. Then the Rosary is said. 
On hearing the bell again, we all assem- 
ble in the community, where there is a 
"point of prayer" read. Then lessons 
occupy us until five ; meditation and re- 
llcction half an hour longer ; then the 
bell again rings for diet, where we go 
through the observances before named; 
then recreation forty-five minutes ; then 
the miserere^ during which the bell rings ; 
then public prayers in the choir ; then the 
Benedictus rings, and the Lay Sistersf 

• Public lecture means a subject read aloud by the lecturess. 

■f One Lay Sister remains kneeling in the entry until we get to 
the psalm called Te Deum, when she rings while we are saying it 
The Keligieuse bow ot knee., &<;., hue do not join ir. saying lite 
office 



INACONVENT. 87 



come up into the choir. Matins, lauds, 
and prayers continue from seven until 
nine o'clock, when we retire while the 
bell is ringing, except those who attend 
lessons and penances. This concludes a 
day and its services. The same course 
was pursued everyday except Fridays and 
Sundays, when there was some variation. 
I had become, in about a week, appa- 
rently so great a favorite of the Superior, 
that although remiss in duties, it was in 
a measure overlooked. She would even 
reprimand the Religieuse for my example 
and my faults ; one instance of which T 
will give. Failing to arrange the Superi- 
or's toilet and seat and cricket, it being 
my turn, one of the Religieuse was repri- 
manded in my stead, and immediately 
knelt and kissed the floor. After this I was 
sent for to the Bishop's room, where the 
young ladies assemble on Mass morning, 
and after kneeling, &c., the Superior asked 
me how things appeared; if they ap- 
peared as I thought they would : if I liked 



00 SIX MONTHS 

my food, &c. Feeling a repugnance to 
answer her, she said, " Recollect yourself. " 

1 told her I liked all pretty well, except 
my couch. She left, telling me to beg the 
intercession of Saint Teresa. The next 
day my couch was exchanged for a better, 
and the image of Saint Teresa put near 
it, for my use. 

Soon after I became an inmate of the 
Convent, the Bishop came into the com- 
munity, and said, " How does that little 
Nun? And what have you done with 
Sister Stimson ?" The Superior answered, 
that she was not fit for the order, and she 
had sent her on to the Sisters of Charity. 
(See note on page 74.) He then, address- 
ing me, asked how I liked Mount Bene- 
dict. I said, " Very well, my Lord." He 
then said, " O, but you will have to strive 
with the temptations between the good 
and evil spirits;" and he then explained 
all the horrors of Satan ; and nsked me 
where Saint Teresa, my namesake, was ; 
and if T had rocio \:: "> v?A k>ll me Iq 



INACONVENT. 89 

say, as she did, these words, " Now come, 
all of you ; I, being a true servant of God, 
will see what you can do against me," 
by way of challenge to the evil ones ; and 
beg her intercession. He told me my 
sister had been to see if I had taken the 
veil, or had any thought of taking it ; and 
he said I might rest contented, as my 
friends would trouble me no more. 5 * He 
then told me the difference between a holy 
life and a worldly life; said the Devil 
would assail me, as he did Saint Teresa, 
and make me think I ought to go back to 
the world ; and make me offers of worldly 
pleasures, and promise me happiness. In 
order to prevent this, I must watch and 
pray all the time, and banish entirely 
worldly thoughts from my mind; and 
throw holy water at the evil spirits, and 
challenge them to come if they dare. 
Perceiving the unpleasant effect this had 

• I have since learned it was my sister and another lady. They 
say he. told then* T ha.^ art taken the veil, hut hoped I soon would 
do it 

i* 



90 SIXMONTHS 

on my feelings, he portrayed in lively 
colors the happiness which would flow 
from my resisting the evil spirits, and what 
a crown of glory would be placed on my 
head by the angels. 

According to my Confessor's orders, I 
took upon myself many austere penances, 
&c. ; but the Superior, noticing my ex- 
haustion from this cause, released me from 
the austerities for a time, saying I was a 
favored one ; and she gave me permission 
to rest, while the others rose to say 
midnight matins* and hear Mass. On 
the exaltation of the holy cross, the Bishop 
gave us his blessing, we all kneeling in 
the community. In conversation with 
the Sisters, he remarked one had not a 
very pleasant countenance ; and he asked 
me how I was pleased with my teacher, 
saying he hoped she put a more pleasant 
countenance on while instructing me. 



* Midnight mass and midnight matins are said at night during 
Lent, and midnight mass always on Christinas. This is a time of 
special humiliatloi in»" (Jit**! 



I N A C O N V E N T . 91 

Once, while walking with the Bishop 
and Superior, we met a stranger, upon 
which the Superior required us to turn 
our hacks while she conversed with 
him. After he left the garden, the Bishop 
and Superior held some conversation to- 
gether apart from us, of which I overheard 
the following words of the Bishop: "I 
fear he did not come here accidentally, as 
he stated, hut for some particular purpose." 
Immediately the Mother Assistant came 
to me, saying that gentleman looked 
very much like me, and asked me if he 
was not my brother ; and having per- 
mission to look, I answered, " No, he is 
not." We then retired within the Convent. 
The Bishop observed to me just before we 
went in, that that gentleman looked no 
more like me than one of the dogs of the 
Convent. 

I was particularly hurt in witnessing 
the austerities put on a Religieuse, named 
Sister Mary Magdalene, who came from 
Ireland. Once, while reciting the office, 



92 SIX MONTHS 

sue, by accident or losing breath, spoke in 
a lower key than she should ; at a signal 
from the Superior, she fell prostrate before 
her desk, and remained so for one hour, 
until the office was finished, when she 
had permission to rise. This was the 
first time I thought the Superior had done 
wrong. * Soon after this, in private con- 
fession to the Superior, she appeared de- 
termined to know my thoughts, and put 
many questions to me that were hard to 
answer. I would here remark, that this 
is the practice at auricular confessions. 
She told me to beg the intercession of my 
patron Saint, of the Blessed Virgin, and 
Saint Ursula. I complained to her of 
my strength's failing, and of my diet, not 
being such as I was used to ; she replied, 
that a Religieuse should have no choice, 
and that I should have left my feelings 
in the world ; and she immediately 

• The Superior often made mistakes in repeating the office, by 
endeavoring to repeat it without the book. And I learned after- 
wards from Mary Francis that the Superior did not understand it 



INACONVENT. 93 

imposed the following penances: — to 
make the sign of the cross on the floor 
with my tongue, and to eat a crust of 
bread in the morning for my portion. 
The first of these penances I did not fulfil 
to the letter, making the sign of the cross 
with my hand instead of my tongue. 5 * 

After this a daughter of my friend Mrs. 
G. came to the Convent, and was permitted 
to spend some time with me in private. 
I also had some trifles given me as 
presents for this little girl, and leave to 
send what word I wished to my friends. 
This girl told me at the time, she was 
coming there to school soon ; I therefore 
sent by her my love to my friends, in- 
forming them that I liked the Convent 
very well, and should be very happy to 
see them, if they would not speak against 
my religion. f 

• I would state to the reader, that those things were received on 
my part with great repugnance ; but the Superior said they were 
to prove my vocation, and I submitted without a murmur. 

f This message ray friends never received, as I have since 
learned. I was deceived in regard to the friendship of Mra. Q. 



94 SIXMONTHS 

Soon preparations were made for my tak- 
ing the vows of a Religieuse, a Novena 
(nine days' devotion) being said for me, 
and for my perfection in a religious life, and 
prayers for the conversion of my friends. 
About this time my sponsor, the Priest, 
visited the Convent, and talked, as I then 
thought, like a godlike person. My recep- 
tion was to take place privately ', because 
we wished to keep my father ignorant of 
the manner in which I had been received; 
and because he might hear of it, should ii 
take place publicly ; as he had before said, 
I was not eighteen, and he could prevent 
my going there. They said he could not 
prevent me, as I was now of age. I was 
perfectly happy at this time, and presented 
the Superior with some lines of poetry, 
which gave her proof of my sincerity and 
contentment. 

She appeared very much pleased with 
the verses, embraced me very affectionate- 
ly, and expressed her hearty approbation 
of my perseverance in performing the 



INACONVENT. 95 

duties of the order, and said the request 
for her entreaties that I might persevere in 
a religious life should be granted, and she 
would show the lines to the Bishop. She 
accordingly did so, when he was present 
one day, and he said he must write my 
conversion, for it was so much like Saint 
Teresa's, my namesake. After this she 
gave orders to have all my worldly dresses, 
being ten in number, and other articles of 
wearing apparel, altered for those young 
ladies whom she clothed and educated ; 
and for me she ordered a long habit to be 
prepared, which was to be blessed by the 
Bishop ; also a veil, which they said de- 
noted purity and innocence. 

One time I failed in rising at the Ange- 
lus,^ which was not noticed by the Su- 
perior. The next morning a Religieuse 
did not rise until the ringing of the Ange- 
lus, and when she came into the refectory 

• My time was to rise at the Angelus, which was rung at five, 
while the Religieuse rose at four, except on holy-day mornings, 
»>Ti«n they rose at tl.ree 



96 SIX MONTHS 

we were at diet. She brought her pillow, 
and kneeling, kissed it, and said as 
follows : — " I have neglected to obey the 
commands of the Superior, and have not 
risen until the Angelus, which I am most 
heartily sorry for; and I humbly ask 
pardon of God and penances of you, our 
Holy Mother." The Superior said no 
one who disobeyed her commands should 
be permitted to remain in this Monastery. 
Her penance was to kiss the floor and re- 
main kneeling until lecture and diet were 
over. 

The Bishop, about this time, came to 
examine our work, &c. After hearing us 
sing, he complimented us, said he should 
hardly have thought that I could have 
learned of heretics, to sing and work so 
well ; and desired me to learn him to 
work lace, as he feared I should not 
finish his robe for Christmas. After being 
presented, as usual, with wine, he retired. 
The Bishop's wine is presented in a 
golden cup. The Rehgpersst: »!-.•. pre- 



I N A CONTENT. 97 

sents it remains kneeling until he has 
drank it. 

As was usual on Saturday evening, after 
signifying our obedience to the Superior, 
by prostrating and kissing the floor, we 
received permission to visit the " sanctum 
sanctormrv' on Sabbath morning, to re- 
ceive the eucharist, all of us except my 
teacher, (the one who the Bishop said did 
not look pleasant, and whom I saw in 
tears on Sunday morning.) The Superior 
made a signal for me to follow her into 
the Bishop's room, when, first inquiring 
into my feelings, as she usually did, she 
asked me what I thought of my teacher : 
if she had put any questions to me while 
at my lessons; and how long before I 
thought I should be able to pronounce my 
vows, and take charge of a class in music. 
She asked me. at another time, what I 
thought was the reason of my teacher's 
crying; (her name was Miss Mary 
Francis.) I replied I did not know. She 
said it was the operation of the Holy 



98 SIX MONTHS 

Spirit, and her devotional feelings wert? 
very deep. 

The next day, while we were at our 
recreations, Miss Mary Francis appeared 
in great distress from some cause, and in 
tears. She soon after pencilled a few 
lines, and approached the Superior kneel- 
ing, &c., and presenting the paper ; she 
appeared confused and very angry, and 
bade her take a seat. After this the Su- 
perior thought it necessary for me to re- 
tire to the infirmary and take an emetic, 
which I did the next day. The day after 
this I had orders to take medicine, which 
I was averse to, and on my declining, the 
infirmarian* made the sign of the cross a 
number of times, and told me it was the 
Superior's orders, and I could not avoid 
taking a part of it. I remained in the 
infirmary two days without a fire, and 
the weather was very cold. I had then 



• The infirmarian is one who tends upon the sick. I was at 
well w usual when I took the emetic. 



IN A CONVENT. 99 

permission to go to the choir, where I 
immediately fainted, at which the Supe- 
rior was angry, and said in a whisper 
she had told me / ought not to have any 
feelings. 

For a while Sister Mary Francis was 
not present at the office and recreative© 
as usual, and the Superior gave as a rea- 
son for her absence that she was ill. But 
it will be necessary for me to leave for a 
moment Miss Mary Francis, and speak of 
Miss Mary Magdalene. The latter was 
put over me as a teacher in the room of 
Mary Francis, whom I then supposed to 
be sick ; but I afterwards learned that she 
was confined, that she might have a better 
opportunity to clear herself of the temp- 
tations of Satan. Sister Mary Magda- 
lene told me she was about to leave this 
world, and wished to give me some advice. 
She said she thought it was God's will to 
take her to himself. After reminding me 
of the respect due to the Superior, and of 
my negligence in not kissing the floor i» 



100 SIX MONTH* 

the choir, and of my looking up while 
walking in the passages, she then spake 
of Sister Mary Francis ; said she would 
soon be able to give me lessons as before ; 
but wished to know which of the Novices 
I thought had the best vocation for a re- 
ligious life, and which one would be most 
likely to return to the world. To the lat- 
ter I replied, " Sister Mary Francis." She 
asked why. I said she did not appear to 
observe the rules so strictly as the others. 
She asked me if that would be any 
inducement for me. I replied, u No, not 
that 1 ' She appeared unable to talk, but 
notwithstanding her weak state and 
trembling hands, she sewed all the time. 
I told her it gave me pain to see her 
distress herself so. With a peculiar 
emphasis she said, u Sister, obedience /" 
and in a very affecting manner made the 
sign of the cross. 

While at my lessons one day, in the 
hours of silence, the Superior and 
Mother Assistant came, wishing me to tell 



IN A C O .N V BNT.. 101 

them where Miss Mary Francis was. I 
replied I had not seen her. They left the 
room, and soon Miss Mary Francis enter- 
ed, in tears. The Superior followed, and 
seizing her by the arm, shook her violently, 
threatening to punish her for disobedience, 
and wished she had a cell austere enough 
to put her in, and exclaimed, " Shame ! 
shame ! you ' disedify' Miss Mary 
Agnes."* She then told her not to feign 
sickness .again, but to show by her appe- 
tite her illness. After the penance of 
kissing the floor, &c. she gave her a 
number of prayers to copy for the Pro- 
testant scholars. And from that time we 
were watched with the strictest scrutiny. 
The next day the Superior gave me per- 
mission to write to my father. She said 
Miss Mary Francis was crazy, and she 
should not keep her in the Convent more 
than a month longer, if she did not reform. 



• All the Nuns hare the name of Mary, and added to it is the 
oame of some canonized Saint, Miss Mary Agnes was my name. 



102 SIX MONTHS 

Mary Francis' grief will be wen re- 
collected by those in the public apart- 
ments. The next day I wrote to my 
father. The letter* was corrected by Miss 
Mary Francis, who was not crazed, as 
stated by the Superior. I then whispered 
to her, (it being the time of silence,) and 
asked the cause of her grief. She wrote 
on a slate, "she could not." A Reli- 
gieuse was in the room, watching us very 
narrowly, and to mislead the Religieuse, 
she reminded me of making false syntax. 
We next met in the community for recrea- 
tion. The Superior gave the Mother 
Assistant permission to speak ; (Miss 
Mary Francis was absent.) She began 
by asking how she did. The Superior 
answered, " She goes on in her old way ;" 
and observed that she was unfit for the 
order. The Mother Assistant said, "O, 
Mamere, let me pray, at least, a month 
longer for her;" and turning to the No- 

• This letter was never received by my father, 



INA CONVENT. 103 

vices, asked them to join with her. The 
Superior granted her permission, but 
handed her a letter to read. The Mother 
Assistant, turning to us, said, " Sisters, 
pay attention. This letter is from Miss 
Mary Francis' aunt, Miss I., of New 
York." The substance of it was, that 
she had received her (the Superior's) letter, 
and was sorry to have recommended to 
her that person, but she thought she had 
reformed, and would be a suitable member 
for a Monastery ; and she begged pardon 
for introducing one to her who had dis- 
turbed the peace of her little Community, 
and hoped if it were possible she would 
not long be troubled with her, &c. The 
Superior said, after the close of the letter, 
"Sisters, you may still continue to pray for 
her, and I will see about this thing, as it 
may be a temptation of the adversary." 
Two or three days after this, I met Miss 
Mary Francis at my lessons in the com- 
munity, and again asked her to tell rm 
her distress by writing on the slate or I 



104 S I X M ONTHS 

would tell the Superior I could not learn 
of her. She begged I would not, and told 
me she was under a solemn obligation not 
to make known the cause of her grief. 
She asked me if I was happy ; I told her 1 
was not to see her unhappy, and again 
entreated her to tell me the cause of her 
rears. She said I must not tempt her to 
break her promise, for if we were detected 
in conversation, she would be made still 
more unhappy. I then asked, if she had 
recovered from her illness, why she did 
not go to her class, &c. Shesaid the Supe- 
rior had forbidden her, but she could not 
answer any other questions. I had formed 
a strong attachment for this lady, and it 
gave me pain to see her so distressed. 

At next recreation, the Superior sent 
us word to meet the Bishop in the medi- 
tation garden. Sister Mary Magdalene 
being too exhausted to walk as fast as we 
did, the Bishop asked who that was, and 
being told, he burst into a laugh, and said, 
" Sister Magdalene, when are you goinp 



IN A CONVENT. 105 

to heaven'.*" She replied, in a voice 
scarcely audible, ' ' I have no will of my 
own, my Lord ; whenever it shall please 
God to take me."* She thought she 
should not live to see Christmas. We 
then assembled in the community, and 
when all were seated, the Bishop inquired, 
" Where is that sober- faced Nun,'?" Being 
told by the Mother Assistant that she was 
giving lessons to Miss F., he took the 
letter before spoken of, and looking it 
over, handed it to the Mother Assistant, 
saying, "Why do you keep her, and why 
does she not go to her class 1" The Su- 
perior said the young ladies were not 
pleased with her as a teacher. He asked if 
all disliked her. Miss Mary Benedict re- 
plied, " No, my Lord : some in the French 
class appear to like her;" on which he 
said, " Show them that letter." 

At my next lesson, I told Mary Francis 

• It is here to be understood, that Sister Mary Magdalene was 
in a consumption, and had entered the Uor.vett nine rronlhs be- 
fore in perfect health. She was worn out with austerities 



106 SIX MONTHS 

if she did not explain to me the caus>5 
of her grief I should certainly tell the 
Superior; for I could receive no benefit 
from her instructions while she was so con- 
fused, and the Superior had reprimanded 
me for not learning my lessons; and I 
promised if she would tell me I would 
not inform the Superior. She replied that 
she could not answer me then, but would 
think of it, and give me an answer in the 
afternoon. Accordingly, in the afternoon, 
a Religieuse being present, watching us, 
she communicated what I desired to 
know by writing on a slate, * and desired 
to know if I was happy. I answered 
that I did not like the Superior so well 
as formerly. She then wrote, that while 
at prayer and meditation she concluded 
it was her duty, particularly as I was 
dissatisfied, to give me some advice, and 
considered her promise before made as 
not binding; and receiving from me a 

• We were at &e piano ; she pretended to write notes, &c 



IN A CONVENT. 1 07 

promise oi* 3ecrecy, she proceeded to say- 
that she hoped she should be pardoned if 
any thing wrong was said by her, as my 
whole happiness depended on the words 
she should communicate. " I am," says 
she, ' ; kept here by the Superior, through 
selfish motives, as a teacher, under a slav- 
ish fear and against my will. I have 
written several letters to my father, and 
have received no satisfactory answer ; and 
I have for a long time felt dissatisfied 
with my situation. The Superior has fail- 
ed in fulfillmgher promise, not complying 
with the conditions on which I was re- 
ceived ; which were, that as she was in 
need of a teacher, particularly in French 
?nd music, 1 might take the white veil, 
^nd leave whenever I chose : and my 
taking the veil, " as it was only a custom," 
should not compel me ; and that my obli- 
gations should not be binding. My father 
thinks I can leave at any time, for I do 
not believe he has received my letters, 
and that letter you have heard read as 
3* 



108 SIX MONTHS 

Miss I.'s is a forged one." We were here 
interrupted by the entrance of the Superior, 
who made a sign for me to follow her into 
the Bishop's room. After asking me how I 
progressed in my lessons, and hearing me 
read in the " Novices' Directory,"* she ob- 
served that I looked melancholy, and com- 
manded me to tell her the reason. I re- 
plied that I did not feel well, that my lungs 
were sore since taking the emetic, f &c. 
She said that was only a notion, and bade 
me tell the true reason without any more 
equivocation. My words were, I did not 
love her so well then as formerly. She ex- 
claimed, " O, my child, I admire you for 

• This is a book which is used only in Convents. It directs us to 
respect the Bishop as a representative of the person of Christ, and 
tin confession as Christ himself; and the Superior as fulfilling the 
ofTco of Mother of God. 

t My lungs were also very sore in consequence of repeating the 
offices ; so much so, that when present at recreation, when I had 
permission to speak, it gave me pain rather than pleasure. I 
have, since leaving the Convent, consulted several physicians, who 
have expressed it as their opinion, that the cause of my bleeding 
at the lungs, which frequently occurs, was originally the repeating 
the office and other services, in one long, drawling tone, which 
any one can know by trying to be very difficult 



IN A CONVENT, 109 

your simplicity ;" and asked me my rea- 
son for not loving her, which I declined 
giving. She commanded " obedience" 
with seeming mildness, and I told her that 
I thought she did not pay that attention 
to me she had promised, and that she was 
not so kind as formerly. She then said a 
Religieuse should have no will of her 
own ; that their Superior put many things 
upon them, in order to try their vocation. 
She then recounted the sufferings of a 
certain Saint, and hid me pray to that 
Saint for protection; and showed me a 
phial, which she said contained some of 
Saint Teresa's tears ; and said if I would 
save my tears while in devotion, she 
could tell by them whether 1 should ever 
arrive to the perfection of a Saint. She 
then gave me her blessing, and reminded 
me of my reception, which was soon to 
take place. 

At my lesson in the afternoon I again 
conversed with Mary Pr&ncis concern- 
ing the letter, and requested her to inform 



110 SIX MONTHS 

me how my happiness was concerned, 
She said still that the letter read to the 
Community was a forged one ; that Mrs. 
]. was her aunt and sincere friend; and 
did her father know her sufferings, and 
the treatment she received from the Su- 
perior, he would prosecute her ; that she 
feared the Superior as she did a serpent. 
She then advised me not to bind myself, 
after my three months' " test or trial,"* 
to that order, by complying with the rules 
of " reception/' any farther than would 
leave me at liberty to go to another if 1 
chose; and I must not think, because 
they were wicked, that the inmates of all 
Convents were so. I assured her that 
although I had thought there were none 
good but Catholics, I now believed there 
were good and bad among all sects. She 
then requested me not to betray her, and 
told me the Superior intended to keep me 

* When persons first enter the Convent, they take an obliga 
tion that they will spend the remainder of their days asaRe 
eluse, but they are put on a three months' " test" or trial, to see if 
they have a "vocation" for that particular order; If not, they est 
ge\ ■ ■■•My placed in another. 



!K A CONVENT. ill 

there for life, and she thought it her duty 
to warn me of the snares laid for me. She 
disliked that order,* and wished me to in- 
form her why, and in what manner I had 
come there. I related to her then, and 
during the next afternoon, all the particu- 
lars. She appeared very much surprised 
to learn that my friends had been opposed 
to my coming, as the Superior had told 
her that they had put me there for life. 
She said she had been taken from the pub- 
lic apartment, because she had been seen 
weeping by the young ladies ; that should 
the Superior refuse to let her go, she 
should if possible make her escape ; and 
named a Religieuse (Miss Mary Angela) 
who had made her escape before. She 
desired me, if she should be so fortunate 
as to make her escape, to ask, in private 
confession, permission to see my friends 

• Miss Mary Francis was educated, I believe, in the Convent of 
Saint Joseph, Emmetsburg ; also known as the order of the " Sisters 
of Charity." She possessed an amiable disposition and superior 
talents, and was universally admired by the inmates c? the 
echool ; and so far as my acquaintance went, she was deserving 
tha wteero of ev«ry «n«. 



112 SIX MONTHS 

and consult them about going to the 
" Sisters of Charity ;" and if they were 
willing that I should go, she would pro- 
cure me a situation, and by letter inform 
me of it. She was in great distress on 
account of that letter, which plainly un- 
i folded the motives of the Superior. She 
said she should appear as calm as possi- 
ble, as it was the only way to blind the 
eyes of the Superior, and enable her to 
escape ; and requested me to give her all 
the information respecting the Superior's 
intentions that I could learn, and to listen 
to her and the Mother Assistant's con- 
versation at recreation hours. 

At recreation the Superior observed that 
Miss Mary Francis had no vocation for a 
religious life, as she had refused to attend 
the offices and prayers. At our next in- 
terview, I inquired of Mary Francis if 
she had refused to attend prayers; she 
replied no ; that the Superior had discover- 
ed her intention to escape, and had 
orbidden her attending offices, commit- 



IN A CONVENT. 113 

nion, and confession, for exposing her 
feelings before the Religieuse ; and that the 
Superior had imposed penance upon her, 
forbidding her to walk in the garden during 
recreation; and that the presents given her 
by the young ladies had been, with the 
Superior's permission, taken by some one 
from her desk. She remarked that we 
were exhorted to love and pray for those 
who spitefully use us, but she could not 
love the Community generally, they exei- 
cised so much cruelty towards her ; that 
the treatment she received was for no 
other reason than because she had given 
way to tears, which were a great relief to 
her ; she was happy, she said, to find oris 
who sympathized with her, and who 
would not treat her with contempt, as the 
others did. She said also that the Supe- 
rior had done wrong respecting her 
apparel. 

I have now come to that part of my 
narrative in which I must again speak 
of the sufferings of Sist?r Magdalene. 



114 SIX MONTHS 

One day she came from the refectory, 
and being so much exhausted as to be 
hardly able to ascend the stairs, I offered 
to assist her, and the Superior reprimand- 
ed me for it, saying her weakness was 
feigned, and that my pity was false pity. 
She then said to Sister Magdalene, (after 
we were seated,) in a tone of displeasure, 
if she did not make herself of use to the 
" Community," she would send her back 
to Ireland ; on which Sister Mary Magda- 
lene rose and said, " Mamere, I would 
like — ."* The Superior cut short what 
she was going to say by stamping upon the 
floor, and demanding who gave her per- 
mission to speak, imposed on her the pen- 
ance of kissing the floor. The Superior af- 
ter this imposed hardships which she was 
hardly able to sustain, frequently reminding 
her that she had but a short time to work 
out her salvation, and that she must do bet- 
ter if she did not wish to suffer in purgatory. 



• This, and other like half-uttered expressions, convinced me 
hat sh« wished to return to her friends. 



IN A CONVENT. 115 

The Superior questioned me about my 
feelings ; wished to know why I looked 
so solemn. I told he,r I was ill from want 
of exercise, that I was not accustomed to 
their mode of living, &c. She said I 
must mention it to my Confessor, which 
I did. The next time the Bishop visited 
us, he was in unusually high spirits, and 
very sociable ; and he related several sto- 
ries, which are not worthy of notice in this 
place. He again asked Sister Magdalene 
when she thought of going to that happy 
place, to receive her crown of glory. She 
replied, " Before the celebration of our di- 
vine Redeemer's birth, my Lord." He 
said she ought to be very thankful that 
she was called so soon. 

I will here relate a conversation of the 
Bishop with the Superior at recreation 
hour, respecting the Pope, &c. After 
talking a while in French, he said he 
had received a long letter from the Pope, in 
which his Holiness congratulated him for 
his success in establishing the true religion 



116 SIXMO N T H Si 

in the United States, and made him offers 
of money to advance the interest of the 
Catholic Church, and more firmly establish 
it in America, &c. The Bishop then 
spoke of the Orthodox in Boston, and said 
Dr. B. had got himself in a " hornets' 
nest," from which he could not extricate 
himself. The Superior named a sermon 
delivered in the North Church by an 
Episcopalian, and said they must look 
out or they would get themselves into a 
" hornets nest." The Bishop mentioned 
a visit of Dr. O'F. at Dr. B.'s, and said 
Dr. O'F. had scarcely an opportunity to 
say a word, on account of the noise and 
crying of the children which were in the 
room, and with which Dr. B. was play- 
ing ; said he appeared more engaged with 
the children than with the subjects of re- 
ligion, &c. &c. Miss Mary John, the 
Mother Assistant, exclaimed, " Is it possi- 
ble, my Lord, that a man of God is treated 
in such a way by heretics ?" :i Yes," said 
the Bishop, "none but he that is unmarried 



IN A CONVENT. 117 

careth for the things that belong to the 
Lord, how he may please the Lord : but 
he that is married careth for the things 
that are of the world, how he may 
please his wife." The Superior said 
Dr. B. possessed very little sense, and 
had a weak mind. The Bishop said that 
the doctor by the course he had taken, had 
made many converts to Catholicism; 
" And perhaps," said the Superior, " he is 
a wicked instrument in the hands of God 
to bring about good." 

At another time, while walking on the 
Convent grounds, a cannon ball was 
picked up by one of the Religieuse, and 
the Bishop taking it, observed, as he gave 
it to the Superior, " Here is a British ball 
that has killed many a Yankee;" and he 
also made several other similar observa- 
tions. At another time the Superior told 
the Bishop that two ladies met near the 
Convent ; the words she used were, " One 
Yankee met another, and said, ' I gtiessy ou 
are a going to independence.' ' I guess 
I be,' said the other.' They then laughed 



118 SIX MONTHS 

heartily about it, and gave us permission 
to hold our recreation upon it. The 
Bishop remarked, the Yankees celebrated 
independence day in honor of mew, and 
appointed days of thanksgiving, instead 
of celebrating the birthday of the Re- 
deemer, in honor of God, &c. # 

When I was again summoned to the 
Superior, she inquired as usual into the 
state of my feelings ; and when I said I 
desired to see my friends, she replied, 
" Why, my dear Agnes, do you wish to see 
worldly friends'? Who do you call your 
friends 1 Am not I your friend 1 Is not 
the Bishop your friend ? If your worldly 
friends wished to see you, would they not 



• We all had permission at one time to walk with the Superior 
in the meditation garden. The Superior heard a noise behind the 
fence, and sent her servants to learn the cause ; they returned, in- 
forming her that two men were looking through the fence. The 
Superior remarked, the Bishop had said there was great danger to 
be apprehended from such persons ; that if Protestants were to 
offer any violence to them, the judgments of heaven would fall 
upon the wicked ; and God had founded them upon a rock so 
firm that it oould not fall. The Superior gave orders to the porters 
not to allow strangers to walk over tb« grounds without her or 
»ho Bishop's permissi< n. 



IN A CONVENT. 119 

come and see you V ' I replied, ' ' Yes. * ' A 
few days after this, I was taken very ill, 
and went to the infirmary. Miss Mary 
Francis, hearing of my illness, made an 
errand to come to the infirmary for some 
thread to mend her apparel, and pretend- 
ing not to find it, asked me where the Re- 
ligieuse put it ; and desired to know if I 
had any good news for her. I told her I 
had not, hut as we had permission to as- 
semble for recreation in the afternoon, I 
would, if I heard any, then inform her. 
At that instant a Novice opened the door, 
and Miss Mary Francis excused heiself, 
by pretending that she was looking for the 
basket of thread. We were not so strictly 
watched for a few days as we had been, 
but when Miss Mary Francis exposed her 
feelings one day before Miss Mary Mag- 
dalene and myself, we were again closely 
watched. 1 then asked the Superior's 
permission to write to my friends, and 
desire them to come and see me, which 
she granted ; and also told me to write 



120 SIX MONTHS 

whatever I pleased. I prepared a letter 
accordingly to my sisters, stating that I 
did not wish to return to the world, but 
was anxious for a visit from them, &c. 

I began now to be much dissatisfied 
with this Convent. My views of retire- 
ment, however, were the same as ever, 
and I thought I would go to the order of 
the Sisters of Charity, where Miss Msry 
Francis was educated, as she had promised 
to introduce me there. She told me, that 
should I be called to the public apartments, 
(as an assistant in ornamental work.) if 
possible, to slip a billet into Miss I.'s hand, 
(a scholar from New York,) who would 
convey it to her ; and I must not open my 
mind to my confessor until I was sure 
she had left the Community. I asked her 
if she would take a letter for me into the 
world ; she replied, she dare not, as the 
Superior would examine her, and not per- 
mit any thing to be carried from the 
Convent into the world. We then laid 
the following plan, to mislead the Superi- 



IN A C ON VEN T. 121 

or in regard to our intentions. Miss Mary 
Francis was to complain to the Superior 
that I would not give proper attention 
when at my lessons, and I was to tell her 
that I could not receive any benefit from 
Miss Mary Francis, on account of her 
grief and absence of mind. This we 
fulfilled to the letter. We also agreed on 
a signal, by which I should know whether 
she was going with or without permission. 
If she went without permission, she was 
to tie a string around an old book, as if to 
Keep the leaves together, and lay it upon 
the writing desk ; if with permission, she 
was to make the sign of the cross three 
times upon her lips. I had intimated my 
desire to go with her, but she said it would 
be more prudent for me to endeavor to 
obtain the Superior's permission to see 
some of my friends, and I could then 
consult with them, and arrange matters 
to suit me. After our conversation, she 
knelt at the altar of the Blessed Virgin, 
and begged God to forgive us if we acted 
6 



122 SIX MONTHS 

wrong in this matter; and said to me, 
' May we not hope for pardon in this mat- 
ter, if the Superior can be so wicked as to 
approach the holy of holies, and yet re- 
ceive absolution?" She then selected from 
a book the letters forming her real name 
that I might write to her, should I not get 
an opportunity to give a letter to Miss I. 
A Religieuse entered and whispered her to 
come away, and I never saw her after- 
wards. 

When the Bishop next visited the 
"Community," he said he understood that 
they were rid of that person who had 
caused them so much trouble. They all 
then rejoiced, because Miss Mary Francis 
had gone. The Bishop asked whither 
they had sent her. They answered, " To 
her friends." Nothing more at that time 
was said about it. 

Not long after this, at private confession, 
I was questioned very particularly in re- 
gard to my views of remaining there foi 
life. I told my confessor that I was con- 



IN A CONVENT. 123 

vinced that order was too austere for me, 
and immediately burst into tears. He 
endeavored to comfort me by saying I 
was not bound to that order for life ; I 
could go to another order. I asked him 
if I might see my friends. He answered, 
" Yes." After receiving a promise from 
him that I should go to any other order I 
chose, I consented to take the vows. He 
gave me to understand, that I need take no 
other vows there than I should at the Con- 
vent of the Sisters of Charity. My recep- 
tion took place the next day. I refused the 
white veil, because the Sisters of Charity 
did not wear it, and it was omitted. The 
choir was first darkened, and then lighted 
with wax tapers. The ceremony com- 
menced with chants, prayers, responses, 
&c. A book was placed in my hands, 
which contained the vows I was to take. 
A.s near as I can recollect, the following 
is the substance of them : — 

" O, almighty and everlasting God, per- 



124 SIX MONTHS 

mit me j a worm of the dust, to consecrate 
myself more strictly to thee this day, in 
presence of thy most Holy Mother, and 
Saint Ursula, and all of thy Saints and 
Martyrs, by living two years a Recluse, 
and by instructing young ladies after the 
manner of Saint Ursula, and by taking 
upon myself her most holy vows of pov- 
erty, chastity, and obedience, which, with 
thy grace and assistance, I will fulfil." 

They all responded, " Amen," and re- 
peated a long office in Latin. I still con- 
tinued to wear the black garb,^ which the 
Bishop blessed ; also a long habit, and a 
string of rosary beads, which were also 
blessed by the Bishop. He wished to know, 
one day, how Miss Mary Agnes did, after 
taking the white vows ; to which the Supe- 
rior replied, " Very well." He then con- 
versed about the establishment in Boston, 
and said that some Sisters of Charity were 
coming to constitute a Convent either 

• The apparel of a Religieuse is always kissed by the wearer, 
•very time of putting on and taking nff 



IN A CONVENT. 125 

there or at Mount Benedict lower esta- 
blishment. * 

Meanwhile Sister Mary Magdalene 
was employed in the refectory. Accord- 
ing to the Bishop she was a Saint, and he 
said there was a Saint's body in the tomb, 
one of the late Sisters', which remained 
undecayed. I heard the Superior, about 
this time, tell Miss Mary Magdalene to 
burn all her treasures,! or she would suf- 
fer in purgatory for her self-love ; and she 
was afraid she did not suffer patiently, 
for she appeared romantic. Mary Mag- 
dalene fell prostrate at the Superior's feet, 
and said she would fulfil any command 
that should be laid upon her. The Supe- 
rior gave her a penance to kiss the feet of 
all the Religieuse, and asked them to say 
an Ave and a Pater for her ; after which 

• The Bishop in confession told me 1 could, if I preferred it, be- 
tome one of these Sisters. 

t The treasures consisted of written prayers, books, papers, a 
ock of her mother's hair, &c, which she brought from Ireland, 
ind kept In her desk. 



126 SIX MONTHS 

she lay prostrate in the refectory until 
the Angelus rung. One communion 
morning, as I rose and was dressing, I 
took some water, as usual, to rinse my 
mouth, and all at once Mary Magdalene 
appeared greatly agitated, and even in 
agony ; made signs and crosses to signify 
that I should commit a sacrilege were 1 
then to approach the communion ; and I 
then recollected that nothing must be 
taken into the mouth on the morning be- 
fore this sacrament. I relate this to show 
the state of her mind. The Superior one 
day requested the Mother Assistant to get 
the keys of the tomb, and to have a good 
place prepared for Mary Magdalene, who 
forced a smile, saying she should prefer 
hers near the undecayed Saint's bed. 

As time passed on, the Superior became 
more severe in her treatment, because I 
objected to pursue my music. My mind 
had been in such an unhappy state, that 
I, for a long time, found it impossible to 
study : and, further, I did not wish to re- 



IN A CONTENT. 127 

ceive instruction, for I had determined not 
to stay there. I therefore succeeded in 
obtaining the Superior's permission to oc- 
cupy my time chiefly with the needle, 
and assured her that I would again study 
when I felt better. 

On one of the holy days the Bishop 
came in, and after -playing upon his flute, 
addressed the Superior, styling her Made- 
moiselle, and wished to know if Mary 
Magdalene wanted to go to her long home. 
The Superior beckoned to her to come to 
them, and she approached on her knees. 
The Bishop asked her if she felt prepared 
to die. She replied, " Yes, my Lord ; but, 
with the permission of our Mother, I have 
one request to make. ' ' They told her to say 
on. She said she wished to be anointed 
before death, if his Lordship thought her 
worthy of so great a favor. He said, 
" Before I grant your request, I have one 
to make; that is, that you will implore 
the Almighty to send down from heaven 
a bushel of gold, for the purpose of 



128 SIX MONTHS 

establishing a college for young men on 
Bunker Hill. He said he had bought the 
land for that use, and that all the Sisters 
who had died had promised to present 
his request, but had not fulfilled their obli- 
gations ; "and," says he, "you must shake 
hands in heaven with all the Sisters who 
have gone, and be sure 'and ask them why 
they have not fulfilled their promise, for 
I have waited long enough ; and continue 
to chant your office with us, while here 
on earth, which is the sweet communion 
of Saints." After she had given her pledge 
and kissed his feet, he told the several 
members of the Community, to think of 
what they should like best. I was first 
called to make my request. I had never 
seen any thing of this kind before, and 
my feelings were such as I cannot de- 
scribe, and continuing silent, the Superior 
bade me name it. I then said, I lacked 
humility, and should wish for that virtue. 
The Religieuse then made their requests : 
one asked for grace to fulfil the vow of 



IN A CONVENT. 129 

poverty ; another, for obedience ; a third, 
more fervent love for the Mother of God ; 
a fourth, more devotion to her patron 
Saint ; a fifth, more devotion in approach- 
ing the altar and host ; and so on. The 
Superior ended it, by making the same re- 
quest as the Bishop, adding, the purpose 
intended was, that the gospel of our Lord 
and Savior might be more extensively 
propagated, and that all dissenters might 
be made to turn to the true Church and 
believe. The conversation then turned 
upon the Pope, and the Bishop said the 
Pope would, perhaps, before long, visit 
this country ; and when things were more 
improved, and his new church finished, 
he should write to the Pope, &c. He 
went into a relation of some parts of 
ecclesiastical history ; spoke of the Pope's 
being the vicegerent of Christ on earth ; 
and that although the wicked one pre- 
vailed now, it was designed for good, and 
the time would come, when all would 
look to the Pope as their spiritual director 



130 SIX MONTHS 

on earth. He thought that America right- 
fully belonged to the Pope, and that his 
Holiness would take up his residence here 
at some future day. 

Not long after this, Mary Magdalene 
was anointed for death, and tcok her 
vows for life, but she continued to wear 
the white veil. I thought it singular that 
Mary Magdalene should at that time take 
her black vows, (as they called them, ) be- 
cause (as I learned in the Community) 
she had not been there a year ; and her 
wearing the white veil after taking them 
appeared still more singular. 

I will endeavor to give some idea of the 
manner in which she took her vows, and 
of the anointing. After she had retired 
to her couch j* the Religieuse walked 
to the room in procession. Sister St. 
Clair held a wax taper blazing at her feet, 
and the Superior knelt at her head with 

• I learned that the usual custom was to place them In a black 
coffin covered with a black pall when they were to take the black 
voiet i but in this Instance it was omitted. 



IN A CONTENT. 131 

the vows, which were copied on a half- 
sheet of paper. The Bishop then came 
in with both sacraments, all of us pros- 
trating as he passed. After putting the 
tabernacle upon the little altar which had 
been placed there for that purpose, he 
read from a book a great many prayers, 
all of us responding. He asked her a 
number of questions about renouncing the 
world, which she answered. The Supe- 
rior gave her the vows, and after pro- 
nouncing them, she was anointed ; Sister 
Clair laying bare her neck and feet, which 
the Bishop crossed with holy oil, at the 
same time repeating Latin. He then 
gave her the viaticum, and ended the 
ceremony as he commenced, with saying 
Mass, and passed out, we all prostrating. 
She lived rather longer than was expect- 
ed, but her penances were not remitted. 
She would frequently kneel and prostrate 
all night long in the cold infirmary, say- 
ing her rosary and other penances, one or 
two of which I will mention. She wore 



132 SIX MONTHS 

next her heart a metallic plate, in imita- 
tation of a crown of thorns, from which I 
was given to understand she suffered a 
sort of martyrdom. This I often saw her 
kiss and lay on the altar of the crucifix 
as she retired. Another penance was, 
the reclining upon a mattress more like a 
table than a bed. A day or two after this, 
the Superior, Mother Assistant, and Mary 
Benedict, ridiculed the appearance of 
Mary Magdalene, because of the dropsy, 
which prevented her appearing graceful, 
and because she was disappointed in not 
going to heaven sooner. The Superior 
gave her some linen capes to make, and 
said, " Do you think you shall stay with 
us long enough to do these, Sister?" She 
took them, and said, " Yes, Mamere, i 
thank you."* Notwithstanding the Su- 
perior's severity, she sometimes appeared 
affectionate. One day I failed in ringing 
the observances at the usual time. I met 



• She would often ask permission to take a little water, as she 
was very thirsty ; the Superior always refused it ; but still ths 
obedient Magdalene replied "Manure, I thank you," 



IN A CONVENT. 133 

the Superior, and fearing she would pu- 
nish me, I burst into tears. She embraced 
me very affectionately, and wiped my 
face with a handkerchief, and said I 
should not be punished that time. She 
once told me I might sit at meditation 
hour, instead of kneeling, as it was very 
tiresome. She frequently called me her 
holy innocent, because she said I kept the 
rules of the order, and was persevering in 
my vocation as a Recluse. She said I 
should see my friend Mrs. G. before long, 
but I did not see her while I was there. 

While in the Convent I asked once or 
twice for a Bible, but never received any, 
and never saw one while there. The 
Bishop often said that the laity were not 
qualified to expound the Scriptures, and 
that the successors of the apostles alone 
were authorized to interpret them, &c. 

The Bishop, in one of his visits, spoke 
particularly of the cholera. He told us 
we must watch and pray more fervently, 



134 SIX MONTHS 

or ' ' the old Scratch would snatch us off 
with the cholera." It was recreation 
hour, but Mary Magdalene was at work 
in the refectory. When she came to the 
community, she appeared like a person in 
spasms; she tried to say li Ave Maria, 7 ' 
and immediately fainted : we were all very 
much alarmed. At that moment the bell 
called us to the choir for visitation and 
vespers. When I retired, I felt much 
hurt to see Mary Magdalene in the cold 
infirmary, but did not dare to express my 
feelings. Next day, at recreation, the 
Superior, Mother Assistant, and Mrs. 
Mary Benedict, made a short visit to 
Mary Magdalene, and on returning they 
told us she was better, and in a spiritual 
sense well ; for she had refused taking her 
portion, or any thing eatable, as she did 
not wish to nourish her body, because the 
will of God had been made known Jo her 
in a vision. We all had the promise of 
conversing with her. but we were so con- 






IN A CONVENT. 136 

stantly employed in our various offices 
that we had no leisure. 
• The next day, it being my turn to see 
that all the vessels which contained holy 
water were filled, &c, I had an opportu- 
nity of looking at Mary Magdalene. Her 
eyes were partly open, and her face very 
purple ; she lay pretty still. I did not 
dare to speak to her, supposing she would 
think it a duty to tell of it, as it would 
be an infraction of the rules. The next 
night I lay thinking of her, when I was 
suddenly startled, hearing a rattling noise, 
as I thought, in her throat. Very soon 
Sister Martha (the sick Lay Nun) arose, 
and coming to her, said, " Jesus ! Mary ! 
Joseph ! receive her soul ;" and rang the 
bell three* times. The spirit of the gen- 
tle Magdalene had departed. The Supe- 
rior came, bringing a lighted wax-taper, 
which she placed in the hand of the de- 
ceased. She closed the eyes, and placed 

* The bell was struck three times to call the Superior, twice to 
call the Mother Assistant, and once to call Mrs. Mary Benedict, 



136 SIX MONTHS 

a crucifix on the breast. Sister Martha 
had whispered us to rise, and the Supe- 
rior, observing my agitation, said, " Be 
calm, and join with us in prayer ; she is a 
happy soul." I knelt accordingly, re- 
peating the litany, until the clock struck 
two, when we all assembled in the choir, 
in which was a fire and wax- tapers 
burning. After meditation, matins, lauds, 
and prayers, and a No vena (a particular 
supplication) that our requests might be 
granted, we assembled for diet, and for the 
first time we had some toasted bread. We 
also had recreation granted in the time of 
silence. The Superior sent for us, and 
instructed us how to appear at the burial 
of our Sister Mary Magdalene, and ac- 
companied us to view her corpse. She 
was laid out in the habit of a professed 
Nun, in a black veil; her hands were tied 
together, and her vows placed in them. 
The Superior remarked, that this was 
done by the Bishop's request. At the 
evening recreation the Bishop appeared ixk 



IN A CONVENT. 137 

high spirits, and rejoiced that so happy a 
soul had at last arrived in heaven ; and 
commenced the " Dies illce" on the pi- 
ano forte, accompanied by the voices of 
the others. He told me I should have 
Miss Mary Magdalene for my intercessor, 
for she was to be canonized. The Mother 
Superior permitted me to embrace the 
Sisters, and gave me the Mother Assistant 
for my Mother. She then presented us 
with the relics of Saints, that by their 
means we might gain indulgences. She 
mentioned a "retreat" as being necessary 
for our perseverance in a religious life. 

The second day after this, the coffin was 
placed in the choir, and the funeral servi- 
ces were performed in the following man- 
ner : Dr. O' Flaherty sang the office, while 
the Bishop chanted it. Father Taylor 
officiated at the altar. Four or five of 
the altar boys were present, and dressed 
in altar robes, &c. ; two of them held wax 
tapers, a third holy water, a fourth a 
crucifix. One swung incense in the cen- 
6* 



138 SIX MONTHS 

ser over the corpse, and another, at the 
same time, sprinkled holy water upon it. 
We performed our part by saying the 
<c Dies illse." The coffin^ was then carried 
to the tomb by two Irishmen. The 
Bishop, Priests, and others followed, sing- 
ing, and carrying lighted tapers and a 
large crucifix. The corpse was also fol- 
lowed by some of the young ladies from 
the public schools, while the Religieuse 
remained in the Convent. After deposit- 
ing the coffin in the tomb, the clergy re- 
tired to dinner. We were permitted, at 
recreation, to hear the clergy converse on 
various subjects. The Superior told us 
that the customary libera and prayers for 
faithful souls departed might be omitted, 
as the Bishop said Magdalene's soul had 
gone immediately to heaven. The No- 
vices were permitted to relate visions of 
guardian angels, &c. At the next evening 



• My feelings were much hurt to witness the manner in which 
Um lid of the coffin was forced down to its place. The corpse 
had Bwollen much, and become too large fbr the coffin. 



IN A CONVENT. J 39 

recreation the Bishop again visited us, 
and appeared in very good spirits, played 
on his flute and sung. He soon went 
away, and the Superior said he only came 
to cheer up our spirits. 

Having only a few minutes to stay at 
confession, I had until this time kept the 
secret of my friend Mary Francis ; but 
the Bishop perceiving that I grew more 
discontented, endeavored to comfort me, 
by saying that I was not bound to that 
order ; but he wished to know more par- 
ticularly my reasons for disliking it, and 
began to threaten me with judgments ; 
and observing my agitation, said he 
must know what lay so heavily on my 
mind. He asked me if it was any thing 
connected with the sickness and death of 
Mary Magdalene. I told him, " No, not 
that in particular ; I do not like the Su- 
perior." He said I must tell him instant- 
ly all the wicked thoughts that had dis- 
turbed my mind, and asked me various 
improper questions, the meaning of which 



1 40 SIX MONTHS 

I did not then understand, and which I 
decline mentioning. I was so confused 
that I inadvertently spoke Mary Francis' 
name, and begged his pardon for listening 
to her ; and he immediately exclaimed, 
"Ah! I know all; confess tome what 
she told you, and do not dare to deceive 
me ; you cannot deceive God. 1 ' I told him 
nearly all that had passed between Mary 
Francis and myself. He said that Mary 
Francis was not a fit subject for any or- 
der, and they were obliged to send her 
away ; that she was deranged, and I had 
done very wrong in listening to an insane 
person. He said I could not go to the 
order she mentioned, and that I would be 
more happy with the Sisters of Charity 
who were coming to reside here. He 
said that worldlings hated me for the good 
part I had chosen, and would ridicule me 
should I go back to the world, and then 
repeated some scripture texts. I still per- 
sisted in saying it was my determination 
not to remain in that order, and I told hitti 



IN A CONVENT. 141 

I disliked the Superior ; and he gave me 
a penance to perform. 1 was desirous at 
that time to. have them think me obedi- 
ent, or I should not have condescended to 
such humiliations. My motive was 'pru- 
dence, not want of courage, for by this 
time I had become disgusted with the 
life I led, and their manner of pro- 
ceeding. 

The next time the Bishop was with us, 
he requested me to sing any favorite tune 
I chose. I sang the "Ode on Science," 
which, every one knows, is highly patri- 
otic. At the close of the first stanza, he 
spoke a few words in French to the Su- 
perior, who made a signal for me to stop ; 
but not understanding her, I continued, 
until she had made several signals, when 
I perceived she was evidently displeased 
with my singing, and then recalled the 
words which I supposed were offensive. 

One day the Superior asked me what it 
was that lay so heavily on my mind, as 
the Mother Assistant had previously 



142 SIX MONTHS 

found me in tears while at our examina- 
tion of conscience. I excused myself by 
replying I was thinking of my dear 
mother, (which, though true, was not the 
cause of my grief.) She then left me, 
but not without distrust, the eyes of the 
Community being upon me. The next 
time we met at recreation, one of them 
remarked she hoped there was not 
another Judas among them. I endea- 
vored to betray no emotion, but they still 
mistrusted I had other views ; for while 
sitting at my diet in the refectory, I ob- 
served my food was of a kind that I had 
never seen before. It consisted of several 
balls of a darkish color, about the size of 
a nutmeg, of a bitter astringent taste ; 
what they were I never knew. I ate 
them as I did my other diet, and strove to 
exhibit no fearful sensations. 

A few days after the death of Mary 
Magdalene, her desk was brought for- 
ward, that the Superior might examine it, 
and distribute its contents to those she 



IN A CONVENT. 143 

considered the most worthy. She gave 
to each one some little relic, and to Miss 
Mary Joseph, sister to Magdalene, some 
letters which she had composed to be 
read, as the Superior said, after her 
death. They were quite affecting, and 
caused Mary Joseph to weep much, for 
which the Superior reprimanded her. 

Some days after this, the Superior sent 
for me to practise music, and then made 
a signal for me to follow her into the 
Bishop's room. This room is separated 
from the others by shutters, with curtains 
drawing on the chapel side. When I had 
kissed her feet, she desired to know why 
I cried at my practice in the choir. I 
rather imprudently answered, {£ I could 
not tell; I did not cry much." (It then 
struck me. she could not have seen me, 
as I was alo?ie.) I said I was very cold,* 
particularly my feet ; and I had been prac- 
tising " Blue-eyed Mary," and was af- 



• The rooms were seldom comfortably warmed, and at timet I 
suffered much from the cold. 



1 44 SIX MONTHS 

fected by the words. She said that what 
I asserted was false, and commanded 
me to tell her the true cause, in a mo- 
ment ; and pulling the handkerchief from 
my hand, she bade me kneel and tell her 
at once, or I should be punished. I was 
so frightened by the threats and manner 
of the Superior, that I sobbed aloud, and 
blood gushed from my nose and mouth. 
She then seized and shook me by the 
arm, and seated me, saying, " Hush! be 
calm, or the young ladies may hear you 
as they pass the door to go to their prac- 
tice." She asked me again and again to 
tell her why I shed tears in the choir, and 
why I felt such a repugnance to commu- 
nicate my thoughts. I replied, because I 
had made a promise not to tell, and I could 
not break it. The Superior turned pale, 
but suppressing her feelings, bade me break 
that promise directly, and asked to whom 
I had made it. I replied I could not tell 
any one but my confessor. Says she, em- 
bracing me, " What ! my dear Sister, not 



IN A CONVENT. 145 

obey your Superior! tell me, my dear, 
and I will stand responsible for you be- 
fore the judgment seat. To whom did 
you make the promise? — to Mary Mag- 
dalene or Mary Francis V She also asked 
me if I had related all the causes of 
my discontent in confession. I replied, 
"Not all," and began to weep again. She 
endeavored to console me, saying she 
could not heal my wounds unless I 
opened my whole feelings to her; and 
comparing her words to those of our di- 
vine Redeemer, took me by the hand, and 
with seeming affection told me to unfold 
all my feelings to her, as to an own 
mother ; and said she should think it her 
duty to stay by me until I should relate 
the cause of my grief, that she might 
pour into my heart a heavenly balm, &c. 
I told her I had not seen or heard from 
my friends, to whom I had written. She 
said that was nothing to the point ; she 
was my friend ; and asked me if I called 
persons who insulted the house of God 
7 



146 SIX MONTHS 

my friends. I replied, " No." She then 
said one person had been there who 
called herself my sister, and who threw 
pebbles at the Convent. She also men- 
tioned another person, who came with my 
sister, and whom she said she would not 
take to " wipe her feet on.''* After 

• I learn from my sister that while I was in the Convent she 
and another young lady went there to invite me to my sister M.'s 
wedding. She asked the portress if I could be seen at that hour, 
who replied she would see, and asked her to walk in, inquired 
her name, &c. went out, and soon returned with the answer that 
the scholars were not permitted to come to the parlor that day. 
My sister told her it was important that she should see mo, and 
she could not come away without. The portress left the room, 
returned, closed the shutters, retired, and presently the Superior 
entered, walking between two servants, and made signs for my 
sister to approach, inquiring hers and the other lady's names, 
and their business. On being informed, she mentioned that I 
could not be seen, but she would deliver any message my sister 
desired ; that the young ladies never violated the rules for 
the sake of seeing company, and that I did not wish to see any 
worldly friends, or have any communication with them ; that my 
mind was wholly occupied with heavenly things; that I was per- 
fectly happy, and "growing as fat as butter ;" that I was fast im- 
proving in my studies, learning music, and drawing, (untrue.') In 
consequence of my sister's weeping, and desiring her to name a 
lime when 1 could be seen, the Superior said she would go and 
inquire whether I desired to see her. The Superior soon returned, 
and told my sister that I did not wish to see her, or any worldly 
pelatire ; but the Superior told her that if I chose I could come to 



IN A CONVENT. 147 

making this observation, she left me for a 
few moments, to compose myself. Re- 
turning, she asked if I knew where I 
was, and if I had concluded to obey her, 
or break my vow of obedience and be 
severely punished. I answered, " No ! 
Mamere, I will tell all I can remember;" 
for I judged from her threats and looks 
that I should be confined in a cellar, or 
have something more severe than usual 
inflicted upon me. The rules of the 
orlef also led me to think so. But not- 
withstanding my fear of the Superior, I 
still kept secret the real name of Miss 
Mary Francis, and her promise of writ- 
ing to Mrs. G. or my friends respecting 
my situation. She then dismissed me for 
a while. But my thoughts soon whispered 

the wedding. They both left the Convent with the impression 
that I was a public scholar, and could leave when I chose ; and 
thought it passing strange that I should refuse to see them, as I 
had, before going to the Convent, requested them to visit me. My 
sister imagined that I had become so infatuated with the Catholic 
religion as to lose all sisterly affection for those who were avers? 
to it, and went away weeping. 



148 SIX MONTHS 

me that our " Ghostly Father" (as our 
Directory taught us to call him) had made 
the Superior acquainted with what passed 
in secret confession, because without such 
knowledge she never could have used 
such threatening language, and never 
could have been displeased, as she was, 
at words which I had used in secret con- 
fession alone with the Bishop. She asked 
me how I dared to converse with Mary 
Francis on the slate. Now she never 
could have known this only from the 
Bishop. I was never fully aware of their 
arts in getting at secrets by confession 
until they became too visible to be misun- 
derstood. I then became more reserved, 
and the Superior remarked that 1 did not 
show so much frankness of manner as 
formerly; the reason of which the 
reader will understand to be, that every 
eye was on me. A different course I 
could not adopt, having lost confidence in 
my confessor. I did not follow his ad- 
vice, but resolved to follow, as nearly as 



IN A CONVENT. 149 

I could conscientiously, the advice of 
Mary Francis, being confident she was 
my friend. 

I felt a repugnance at the idea of re- 
turning to the world, supposing that 
many would believe me a person roman- 
tic and visionary, and inexperienced in 
the ways of the world, and therefore unfit 
for society. And I was also particularly 
averse to taking this step, because of 
the solemn promise of seclusion which I 
had taken. Nevertheless, I resolved to 
leave that Convent, and write to Miss 
Mary Francis from my friend Mrs. G.'s, 
but was undetermined whether I should 
return to the world. I had reason to 
think that my letters were never sent to 
my friends, and determined to convey one 
privately. I stole a few moments and 
hastily wrote some lines with my pencil, 
and hid them behind the altar ; but the 
billet was discovered, and I never heard 
from it. 

It was my turn that week to read as 



150 SIX MONTHS 

"lecturess." A book was placed before 
me in the refectory, called "Rules of Saint 
Augustine," and the place marked to 
read was concerning a Religicuse receiv- 
ing letters clandestinely. I could not 
control my feelings, for what I read was 
very affecting. At this time we were di- 
rected to remain in the refectory, instead 
of assembling in the community, and told 
to repeat " Hail Mary" before a picture. 
The Superior and Mother Assistant con- 
sented to have me practise music no 
more during the cold weather. They 
also permitted me to wear warmer 
clothing. 

One day as I was sitting alone in the 
refectory, in the time of silence, the Su- 
perior came in, and after kneeling and ex- 
tending her arms in the form of a cross, 
she kissed the floor, and rising, walked 
towards the door ; returning, she seated 
herself on the bench beside me. I asked 
her if I should bring a chair ; she an- 
swered, " No," and inquired how I felt, 



IN A CONVENT. 151 

and why I changed color while at the 
table. I replied that my mouth was very 
sore, and it hurt me to read. She wished 
to know what made my mouth sore. I 
told her I thought it was something I had 
eaten. She said, laughingly, it was the 
canker, and asked if it was not sent as a 
judgment for some sin. I replied that I 
did not know ; I had not felt very well for 
some days, and thought it. was partly 
owing to want of exercise. She then 
sent Sister Martha to conduct me into a 
room at the farther part of the Convent, 
for the first time, called a ll mangle 
room" There were some Sisters there 
kneeling in devotion, and one turning a 
machine used for pressing clothes, instead 
of ironing them, called a mangle. She 
presented me with some altar laces, and 
told me to have them prepared for the 
altar the next day at the ringing of the 
bell. While there I was watched very 
narrowly ; but as I had gathered from the 
Superior's conversation, at different times, 



152 SIX MONTHS 

that the gates were watched by the por- 
ters and dogs, which were of great value 
to the Convent, I did not dare, then, to 
make my escape, but appeared as cheerful 
as possible. The Sisters appeared very 
happy, it being a day of recreation in the 
Community, and the celebration of some 
great Saint. The Superior, as she passed 
her portrait, remarked, that she never 
looked at it but that it reminded her of 
smiling. She appeared in unusually good 
spirits, and gave us permission to wish 
each other happy feasts, not of luxury 
and feasting, in the common acceptation 
of the terms, but of prayers to the Saints 
to free us from purgatory. In the course 
of the Superior's conversation, she said 
she had read in the newspapers of a new 
law which had been passed, that no per- 
son who was under the age of twenty- 
eight or thirty years should be allowed to 
keep any school. The Mother Assistant 
approved of this law, and said it was 
good as it would remove the difficulty 



INA CONVENT. 153 

which overseers had with young teachers 
who were unfit to take charge of a school, 
particularly the discipline. 

I would here confess my fault (if a fault 
it was) of not acknowledging all my obli- 
gations in secret confession, and of pre- 
tending to think Mary Francis deranged ; 
and also of acquiescing in the Superior's 
commands in her presence with feigned 
h umility. I did this that my design should 
not be suspected. 

A letter was read to the Community, 
that was addressed to the Superior, from 
Bishop P., of Emmetsburg. In it he re- 
joiced to learn that the " Community" 
was set free of that person who was de- 
ranged, and whose disposition he had 
known to his sorrow from her youth. He 
lamented the departure of Magdalene, 
who no doubt was a Saint ueigning in 
glory, after what she had been willing to 
suffer to gain salvation.^ I was sent for 

• Since leaving the Convent I have written to Miss Mary 
Francis for information in regard to this letter, but have received 
no satisfactory answer. I have however received from her three 
letters. 



154 SIX MONTHS 

to attend the Superior in the Bishop's 
room, after Mass. She was folding his 
cassoc and robe. When I entered, she 
bade me do as my Directory taught, and 
said I had let trifles make an impression 
upon me, and weak minds only allowed 
trifles to affect them. Giving me the let- 
ter, she bade me tell her what I thought 
of it. I read it, and said I could not be- 
lieve what Mary Francis had told me, if 
she were deranged, but yet I had rather 
go to the Convent where she was edu- 
cated than stay at that on Mount Bene- 
dict. She asked me if I thought of going 
without protection ? I begged of her to let 
me see some of my friends there, or permit 
me to return to the world. After saying 
she had sent my letters* to my friends, 
who, if they wished, could come there and 
see me, she told me not to trouble myself, 
for the Bishop would soon be there, and I 
could talk with him about it.f 



• My friends never received any letter from me. 

t I cai. ot reinr m jcr all that passed in confesoion, for I was at 



IN A CONVENT. 155 

One Sabbath after Mass, while we were 
m the choir repeating the examination of 
conscience or monthly review, I was 
called in a whisper into the community, 
with the rest of the Sisters, but pretended 
not to hear. The others went in while 1 
remained. I heard the Bishop speak to 
them as they went in. But I had absented 
myself from confession and communion 
that day, and did not wish to see the 
Bishop on account of his previous 
language. After the doors had been 
opened several times, one of the Pteli- 
gieuse (Sister Marth.v* ) came in and 
knelt with me. The bell then rang, and I 
went into the refectory, waiting as usual 

this time much confused ; however, the Bishop asked me how I 
should like to go to a Convent in Canada, which I objected to. 

• I will not presume to say much about Sister Martha, as I never 
conversed with her, and therefore was not so able to judge of her 
sufferings, Sec. She was a professed Lay Religieuse, and I be- 
lieve an American. She was called the Portress, and one of 
those (I learned) who chose rather to be a doorkeeper than to 
dwell among the wicked. She, together with three of the Choir 
Religieuse, lodged in the infirmary with me. While she slept 
there, she (as did Magdalene) coughed at intervals during the 
night. Sister Martha often approached the Superior kneeling and 
weeping. 



156 SIX MONTHS 

for the Mother Assistant's instructions in 
the Latin office. Sister Martha soon 
entered, and asked if I knew where the 
Mother Assistant was, and whether I had 
been into the community since Mass. I 
replied, No, but was waiting for the Mother 
Assistant. After saying office I went 
down to the refectory to string some rosary 
beads, and afterwards returned to the 
choir, where the Novices were telling their 
beads. The Superior came in to join in 
devotion, and remained until diet. As we 
were proceeding to diet, I accidentally 
touched the Superior; she looked at me, 
and appeared much displeased. At re- 
creation the Religieuse were very desirous 
to learn the state of my mind. I strove 
to appear unembarrassed, and answered 
their questions with seeming ignorance. 
I was not censured for my transgression 
of the rules, nor was any remark made 
upon it. 

In the evening we were permitted to 
sit in the community, which had been 



IN A CONVENT. 157 

warmed. After repeating the offices, and 
during the time of silence, a dog barked 
in front of the community, and we heard 
a noise like some one thumping upon 
the doors. The Religieuse fell down 
before the altar, and appeared much 
frightened. I kept my seat, but at that 
moment heard the window raised, and 
the Superior ask who was there. No 
answer was made to her inquiry. 1 then 
felt somewhat alarmed, but endeavored to 
betray as little fear as possible. What 
this noise was, or for what reason it was 
made, I never could learn, but I have 
supposed it was done to see if I was easily 
alarmed. The like had several times 
occurred. 

About this time the martyrologies of 
some Saints were read at table ; also the 
history of Saints who had been tempted 
by Satan. Perhaps it may be well to re- 
ate one or two. A certain Saint, who 
was strongly tempted by Satan, retired to 
a desert, and confined himself to a cell, 
scarcely large enough for him to lie at 



158 SIX MONTHS 

ease. He retired here for pious purposes. 
After mortifying his body for a long time, 
he prayed for rain that he might quench 
his thirst, which was granted. A bird 
came and brought him food, which renew- 
ed his strength, and he returned to his Mo- 
nastery, and was never more troubled 
with the temptations of Satan. 

Some noblemen once invited a poor 
wandering monk, who was begging for 
the Monastery, to dine with them on 
Friday. They helped him to meat ; he 
made the sign of the cross, refusing to eat 
it. They asked the reason, and drawing 
their swords, threatened his life unless he 
did eat it. He told them if they would 
allow him a few minutes that he might 
pray, and give him a pewter plate to cover 
the meat, he would eat it. After pray- 
ing a few minutes that the meat might 
become fish, he took off the plate, and be- 
hold it was fish ; and he then sat down 
and ate, and they believed him an inspired 
man. 

Manv accounts of those who had be- 



IN A CONVENT. 159 

come Saints were so disagreeable and 
even revolting, that I will not attempt to 
relate or describe them. 

As several of my friends desire to learn 
something concerning the scholars, I will 
relate what little I know. I never had 
permission to enter any of the rooms in 
the recluse apartments, except those be- 
fore named, and never to the public apart- 
ments, except on examination days, when 
the Superior and Bishop were present. 
During one vacation, the young ladies 
who remained were permitted to visit the 
Community, to give the members pre- 
sents.* I never spoke to them but to thank 
them for a present. They were some- 
times at vacation permitted to enter the 
Community and embrace the Religieuse. 

Complaints were often brought to the 
Superior while at recreation, and some- 
times repeated aloud. They were gene- 
rally violations of the iides, which were 
very strict. They were sometimes pun- 

•'Allhoiigh we received presents, we were not allowed to keep 
them. 



160 SIX MONTHS 

ished for refusing to say prayers to the 
Saints, which they said their parents dis- 
approved of; also for refusing to read 
Roman Catholic history. A Miss T., of 
C, was brought to the Superior, and 
reprimanded for writing her discontents 
to her friends. The Superior destroyed 
one half the letter, and gave me the 
blank leaf to write a prayer on. Another 
was reprimanded severely because she 
had said to the other young misses she 
should be glad when the time came for 
her to leave the Convent, &c. The Su- 
perior, shaking her severely, obliged her 
to kneel and perform an act of contrition, 
by kissing the floor, and saying that she 
was very sorry that she had offended her 
teachers, and begged the forgiveness 
of all. 

Some of the young ladies were appa- 
rently great favorites of the Superior and 
Bishop. They sometimes sent for them 
to bestow presents and caress them. One 
young lady, of whom the Bishrp was 



IN A CONVENT. 161 

guardian, was treated very ill. I often 
saw her in tears, and once heard the 
teacher tell the Superior that it was he- 
cause she had no dress suitable to wear 
into the world to see her friends. She 
was designed, as I learned, to be a teacher 
in a Convent in Canada. 

A number of the young ladies were 
unhappy, whose names I have forgotten. 
I learned that they disliked the discipline. 

After this the Superior was sick of the 
influenza, and I did not see her for two 
or three days. I attended to my offices 
as usual, such as preparing the wine and 
the water, the chalice, host, holy water, 
and vestments, &c. One day, however, I 
had forgotten to attend to this duty at the 
appointed hour, but recollecting it, and 
fearing lest I should offend the Superior 
by reason of negligence, I asked per- 
mission to leave the room, telling a No- 
vice that our Mother had given me per- 
mission to attend to it ; she answered, 
" O yes, Sister, you can go then." I went 
7# 



162 SIX MONTHS 

immediately to the chapel, and was 
arranging the things for Mass, which 
was to take place the next day. While 
"busily employed, 1 heard the adjoining 
door open, and the Bishop's voice dis- 
tinctly. Being conscious that I was 
there at the wrong hour, I kept as still 
as possible, lest I should be discovered. 
While in this room I overheard the fol- 
lowing conversation between the Bish- 
op and Superior. The Bishop, aftei 
taking snufT in his usual manner, began 
by saying, ° Well, well, what does Agnes 
say? how does she appear?" I heard 
distinctly from the Superior in reply, that, 
" According to all appearances, she is 
either possessed of insensibility or great 
command." The Bishop walked about 
the room, seeming much displeased with 
the Superior, and cast many severe and 
improper reflections upon Mary Francis, 
who, it was known, had influenced me; all 
which his Lordship will well remember. 
He then told the Superior that the esta- 



IN A CONVENT. 163 

blishment was in its infancy ; and that it 
would not do to have such reports go 
abroad as these persons would carry ; that 
Agnes must be taken care of; that they 
had better send her to Canada, and that 
a carriage could cross the line in two or 
three days. He added, by way of repe- 
tition, that it would not do for the Pro- 
testants to get hold of those things and 
make another u fuss." He then gave the 
Superior instructions how to entice me 
into the carriage, and they soon both left 
the room and I heard no more. 

The reader may well judge of my 
feelings at this moment; a young and 
inexperienced female, shut out from the 
world, and entirely beyond the reach of 
friends ; threatened with speedy trans- 
portation to another country, and invo- 
luntary confinement for life, with no pow- 
er to resist the immediate fulfilment of the 
startling conspiracy I had overheard. It 
was with much difficulty that I controlled 
my feelings, but aware of the importance 



164 SIX MONTHS 

t>f not betraying any knowledge of what 
had taken place, I succeeded in returning to 
the refectory unsuspected. I now became 
firmly impressed that unless I could con- 
trive to break away from the Convent 
soon, it would be forever too late ; and that 
every day I remained rendered my escape 
more difficult. 

The next day I went to auricular con- 
fession, not without trembling and fear, 
lest 1 should betray myself. But having 
committed my case to God, I went some- 
what relieved in my feelings. At a pre- 
vious confession I had refused to go to 
Canada, but at this time, in reply to the 
Bishop's inquiry, I answered that I would 
consider the subject ; for I thought it 
wrong to evince any want of fortitude, 
especially when I had so much need of 
it. I did not alter my course of conduct, 
fearing that if I appeared perfectly con- 
tented I should be suspected of an inten- 
tion to escape. 

It was my turn during that week tot 



IN A CONVENT. 165 

officiate in the offices. While reading, I 
felt something rise in my throat, which 
two or three times I tried to swallow, but 
it still remained. I felt alarmed, it being 
what I had never before experienced. # 
At recreation I was asked what ailed me, 
and replied that I could not tell ; but I de- 
scribed my feelings, and was told I was 
vaporish. 

They were very desirous that week to 
know if my feelings were changed. I 
said they were, and endeavored to make 
it appear to them that Satan had left me. 
But in reality I feared I should never es- 
cape from them, though I had determined 
to do so the first opportunity. 

I was in the habit of talking in my 
sleep, and had often awoke and found the 
Religieuse kneeling around my couch, 
and was told that they were praying for 
me. Fearing lest I should let fall some 
word or words which would betray me, 
I tied a handkerchief around my face, de- 

• I hare since narned the circumstance to a physician, who say« 
it was /ear alone, 



166 SIX MONTHS 

termining if observed to give the appear- 
ance of having the teeth ache, and so 
avoid detection. For some days I was 
not well, and my mind, as may naturally 
be supposed, sympathized with my body, 
and many things occurred that were to 
me unpleasant, which I shall pass un- 
noticed. 

But what I have now to relate is of im- 
portance. A few days after, while at my 
needle in the refectory, I heard a carriage 
drive to the door of the Convent, and 
heard a person step into the Superior's 
room. Immediately the Superior passed 
lightly along the passage which led to the 
back entry, where the men servants or 
porters were employed, and reprimanded 
them in a loud tone for something they 
were doing. She then opened the door of 
the refectory, and seemed indifferent about 
entering, but at length seated herself be- 
side me, and began conversation, by say- 
ing, " Well, my dear girl, what do you 
think o£ going to see your friends?" I 



IN A CONVENT. 167 

said, " What friends, Mamere?" said she, 
"You would like to see your friends 
Mrs. G., and Father B., and talk with 
them respecting your call to another 
order." Before I had time to answer, 
she commenced taking oft' my garb, telling 
me she was in haste, and that a carriage 
was in waiting to convey me to my 
friends. I answered, with as cheerful a 
countenance as I could assume, " O, Ma- 
mere, I am sorry to give you so much 
trouble ; I had rather see them here first." 
While we were conversing I heard a little 
bell ring several times. The Superior 
said, "Well, my dear, make up your mind; 
the bell calls me to the parlor." She soon 
returned, and asked if I had made up my 
mind to go. I answered, " No, Mamere." 
She then said I had failed in obedience to 
her, and as I had so often talked of going 
to another order with such a person as 
Mary Francis, I had better go immedi- 
ately ; and again she said, raising her 
voice, " You have failed in respect to your 



168 SIX MONTHS 

Superior ; you must recollect that I am a 
lady of quality, brought up in opulence, 
and accustomed to all the luxuries of 
life." I told her that I was very sorry to 
have listened to any thing wrong against 
her dignity. She commanded me to 
kneel, which I did ; and if ever tears were 
a relief to me they were then. She 
stamped upon the floor violently, and 
asked, if I was innocent, why I did not 
go to communion. I told her I felt un- 
worthy to go to communion at that time.* 
The bell again rang, and she left the 
room, and in a few moments returning, 
desired me to tell her immediately 
what I thought of doing, for as she had 
promised to protect me forever, she must 
know my mind. She then mentioned 
that the carriage was still in waiting. I 
still declined going, for I was convinced 

• My eyes were opened ; I found myself in an error, and had 
been too enthusiastic in my first views of a Convent life. I was 
discontented with my situation, and was using some deception 
towards the Superior and the Religieuse, in order to effect an es- 
cape ; therefore I did not feel worthy to attend communion. 



IN A CONVENT. 169 

their object was not to carry me to Mrs. 
G. and Priest B., to consult about another 
order, but directly to Canada. I told her 
I had concluded to ask ray confessor's ad- 
vice, and meditate on it some longer. 
She rather emphatically said, " You can 
meditate on it if you please, and do as you 
like about going to see your friends." 
She said that my sister had been there, 
and did not wish to see me. Our con- 
versation was here interrupted by the 
entrance of a Novice. The Superior then 
gave me my choice, either to remain on 
Mount Benedict, or go to some other 
order, and by the next week to make up 
my mind, as it remained with me to de- 
cide. She then gave me a heavy penance 
to perform, which was, i?istead of going 
to the choir as usual at the ringing of the 
bell, to go to the mangle room and repeat 
" Ava Marias" while turning the mangle. 
While performing my penance, Sister 
Martha left the room, and soon returning, 
said she had orders to release me from 



170 SIX MONTHS 

my penance, and to direct me to finish 
my meditations on the picture of a Saint, 
which she gave me. But instead of saying 
the prayers that I was biddeu, I fervently 
prayed to be delivered from their wicked 
hands. 

They appeared much pleased with my 
^j_rmosprl reformation, and I think they 
believed me sincere. The Superior, as a 
test of my humility, kept me reading ; that 
is, made no signal for me to stop, until 
the diet was over, when a plate of apple 
parings, the remnant of her dessert, was 
brought from the Superior's table, and the 
signal given for me to lay down my book 
and eat them.^ I ate &few of them only, 
hoping they might think my abstaining 
from the remainder self-denial in me, and 
not suspect me of discontent or disobedi- 
ence. 1 performed all my penances with 
apparent cheerfulness. 

The Bishop visited the Convent on the 

• This was the second time I had been presented with apple 
parings by the Superior. 



IN A CONVENT. 171 

next holy day, and on their remarking 
that he had been absent some time, he 
made many excuses ; one of which was, 
he had been engaged in collecting money 
to establish the order of the " Sisters of 
Charity" where the "Community" once 
lived ; and he spoke of the happiness of the 
life of a " Religieuse" of this order. After 
he played on the piano, M Away with Me- 
lancholy," the Superior asked me to play, 
and the Bishop said, " By all means." I 
complied, but my voice faltered through 
fear, when Miss Mary Benedict apolo- 
gized for me. by saying I had not prac- 
tised much lately, on account of the 
Mother Assistant's engagements, and the 
young ladies occupying all the instru- 
ments. She showed the Bishop a robe 
which I had been busy in working for 
him. He said I must not on any account 
neglect my music. After telling one of 
his stories about a monk who had diso- 
beyed the rules of his order until Satan 
took possession of him, he left us, say- 



172 SIX MONTHS 

ing he hoped " old Scratch" would not 
take possession of our hearts as he did that 
monk's, and hoped that we should never 
have another Judas in the Community. 

Some days after the conversation which 
I heard between the Bishop and Superior 
while behind the altar, I was in the re- 
fectory at my work, and heard the noise 
of the porters, who were employed saw- 
ing wood, and I conjectured the gate might 
be open for them. I thought it a good op- 
portunity to escape, which I contemplated 
doing in this manner, viz. : to ask permis- 
sion to leave the room, and as I passed the 
entry, to secrete about my habit a hood 
which hung there, that would help to con- 
ceal part of my garb from particular obser- 
vation; then to feign an errand to the infir- 
marian from the Superior, as I imagined I 
could escape by the door of the infirmary. 
This plan formed, and just as I was going, 
I heard a band of music, playing, as it 
seemed, in front of the Convent. I heard 
the young ladies assembling in the parlor, 



IN A CONVENT. 173 

and the porters left their work, as I sup- 
posed, for the noise of the saws ceased. 
I felt quite revived, and was more confi- 
dent I should be able to escape without 
detection, even should it be necessary to 
get over the fence. I feigned an errand, 
and asked permission of Miss Mary Austin 
to leave the room,* which she granted. 
I succeeded in secreting the hood, and the 
book in which Miss Mary Francis had left 
her address, and then knocked at the door 
three times which led to the lay apart- 
ments. A person came to the door, who 
appeared in great distress.! 

• Sister Martha (the sick Religieuse) was scouring the floor 
at this time, which I saw was quite too hard for her. Not 
long after I left, I inquired after her, and learned she was no 
more. 

t This was Sarah S., (a domestic,) who appeared very unhappy 
while I was in the Convent. I often saw her in tears, and learned 
from the Superior that she was sighing for the veil. When I saw 
my brother I informed him of this circumstance, and he soon found 
who she was, and ascertained that some ladies in Cambridge had 
been to see the Superior, who used to them pretty much the same 
language she did to my sister. I have since seen her. She is 
still under the influence of the Roman Church, but assures me 
that she did not refuse to see the ladies, as the Superior had repre- 
sented to them, and she wept because of ill health, &c. 



1 74 SIX MONTHS 

I asked her where Sister Bennet and 
Sister Bernard were ; she left me to find 
them. I gave the infirmarian to under- 
stand that the Superior wished to see her, 
and I desired her to go immediately to her 
room. These gone, I unlocked and passed 
out the back door, and as the gate ap- 
peared shut, I climbed upon the slats 
which confined the grape vines to the 
fence; but they gave way, and falling to 
the ground, I sprained my wrist. 1 then 
thought I would try the gate, which I 
found unfastened, and as there was no one 
near it, I ran through, and hurried to the 
nearest house. In getting over the fences 
between the Convent and this house, I fell 
and hurt myself badly. On reaching the 
house, I fell exhausted upon the door step ; 
but rising as soon as possible, I opened the 
door, and was allowed to enter. I inquired 
if Catholics lived there ; one answered, 
" No." For some time I could answer 
none of their questions, being so much 
exhausted. 



IN A CONVENT. 175 

As soon as they understood that I re- 
quested protection, they afforded me every 
assistance in their power. I had been 
only a few moments there, when I heard 
the alarm bell ringing at the Convent. 
On looking out at the window, we saw 
two of the porters searching in the canal 
with long poles. After searching some 
time they returned to the Convent, and I 
saw their dogs scenting my course. 

While at that house I looked in a glass, 
and was surprised, nay, frightened, at my 
own figure, it was so pale and ema- 
ciated* 

Notwithstanding my wrist being sprain- 
ed, I wrote a few lines to Mrs. G., whom 
I still supposed my friend, begging her to 
come to my relief, for I did not wish my 
father and sisters to see me in my present 
condition. I thanked God that he had 
inclined his ear unto me, and delivered 
me out of the hands of the wicked. But 



• It will be perceived that this does not correspond with what 
the Superior told my sister. 



176 SIX MONTHS 

here was not an end of my afflictions. 
Mrs. G. came in the evening to convey 
me to her house. She would not allow 
me to say any thing about my escape at 
Mr. K.'s, and wished me to return to the 
Convent that night. I resolved not to go. 
After whispering a long time to me about 
the importance of secrecy, she left Mr. 
K.'s, as we supposed, for home ; but she 
soon returned, saying she at first in- 
tended to leave me at Mr. K.'s, but had 
concluded to take me home with her, as 
she desired some further conversation. 
Her manners appeared very strange, yet 
I did not distrust her friendship. Before 
leaving Mr. K.'s, she requested me to 
obtain from them a promise not to say 
any thing about my escape, which I 
did. 

After I arrived at Mrs. G.'s, I showed 
her my wounds, and my feet, which had 
been frozen, and told her I did not find 
the Convent what I had expected. She 
seemed to sympathize with me, and to do 



IN A CONVENT. 177 

all in her power for my recovery. She 
did not then urge me to say much, as I 
was quite weak. 

The next morning, the Convent boy on 
horseback came galloping up to the house, 
and delivered to Mrs. G. a letter from the 
Superior, and was very particular, as he 
said he had orders not to give it to any one 
except to her. She refused to tell me its 
contents, and sent directly for a chaise, to 
go to the Convent. She took with her the 
religious garb I had worn on my head, 
and the book containing Miss Mary 
Francis' name* Meanwhile I endeavored 
to com pose myself, and wrote to Miss Mary 
Francis, agreeably to my promise, inform- 
ing her of my afflictions, and of my re- 
luctance to return to the bustle of the 
world. I proposed to her some questions, 
and requested her advice. 1 wrote that I 
could not think otherwise than that the 

• This book I brought awaj- because Mary Francis had pricked 
hers and her father's real name out in it, and I wished to refer to 
it, in order to write her. I took it from my writing desk, and 
slipped it into my pocket. 



178 SIX MONTHS 

Superior and Bishop were very wicked. 
I did not write much, thinking her con- 
fessor might advise her not to answer it, 
as it was probable that the Superior would 
write to him; and I was anxious to con- 
vince Mrs. G. that Mary Francis thought 
as I did, for Mrs. G. would not permit me 
to say one word against the Superior or 
Bishop; and I was resolved to ascertain if 
Mary Francis was living and happy. 
When Mrs. G. returned from the Convent 
she sa ; i the Superior had too exalted an 
opinion of me to think I would say any 
thing against the institution, and she had 
sent me a present, as she still considered 
me one of her flock ; and if I had gone 
astray, she should do every thing she 
could for me, in a temporal as well as in 
a spiritual sense, if I would repent. My 
words were just these: " I cannot receive 
any present from the Superior ; she is a 
wicked woman, and I do not believe her 
friendship pure." At this moment Priest 
B. drove to the door, and desired to see me. 
I did not think myself in danger, and 



IN A CONVENT. 179 

conversed with him ; but I soon found that 
he had seen the Superior and Bishop. He 
said that as he was my sponsor he con- 
sidered it his duty to advise me, and hoped 
I was not going to break my vows to God 
and expose myself to the world ; because, 
if I did, I should be ridiculed and laughed 
at. He said he had before conveyed a 
Novice to the " Sisters of Charity," and 
would convey me to them, or to some 
other retired place which I might choose, 
and that he was deeply concerned for my 
welfare. I told him I could not think of 
going anywhere then, as my health would 
not allow any exposure to the cold, and 
that Mrs. G. thought it best I should re- 
main with her until I was better, when I 
should visit my father. He then exclaim- 
ed, "What letter is this?" taking up and 
reading the one I had written to Mary 
Francis. After reading it, he appeared 
surprised, and desired to know how I 
came in possession of her name. He 
said he should have seen me at the Con- 
vent had he known I was discontented; 



180 SIX MONTHS 

and that if the Superior had done wrong, 
it was no reason I should do so, by 
speaking against the Convent or those 
connected with it. He then shook hands 
with me, and said he would converse 
with me again when I was more com- 
posed, and left the house. 

I soon began to suspect by Mrs. G.'s 
manners that she was not my friend, and 
that if she had an opportunity she would 
deliver me into the hands of the Catho- 
lics ; for I learned from her little daughter 
that her mother had given her to the 
Catholic Church, because the Superior 
had ofTered to educate her, free of ex- 
pense: and that her mother was acquaint- 
ed with the Superior before I went to the 
Convent. Now this I did not know be- 
fore, and I began to be more guarded, and 
to fear that all belonging to the Romish 
Church were alike. When I gave Mrs. 
G. the letter to send to the post-office, she 
asked if I was afraid she would break it 
open ; and at another time afterwards, she 
told me I was afraid she would poison me 



IN A CONVENT. 181 

because I refused to take medicine, which 
I thought I did not need. Such thoughts 
did not occur to my mind. 

In a day or two Priest B. again came, 
and after much persuasion from J.Irs. G. 
I consented to see him. At first he ap- 
peared very pleasant, said he had come to 
render me assistance, and begged, as I 
valued my religion and reputation, to take 
his advice. I told him that I wished none 
of his assistance or advice; that I should 
goto my brother's, at East Cambridge, as 
soon as possible ; that as it respected my 
religion, I did not believe in one which 
justified its followers in doing wrong; and 
that I was not at all concerned that my 
reputation would be injured on that ac- 
count by returning to the world. He 
affected considerable contempt for my 
aged parent, and ridiculed many things 
which he said he had heard of my father. 
And he said,*- " Is it possible that a young 
lady wishes to have her name made pub- 

* He informed me I should be anathematized publicly if I did 
not repent. 



182 is.X MONTHS 

lie ?" I answered, " You very well know 
I should shrink from such a thing, but I 
should rather return to the world and ex- 
pose myself to its scorn, than remain sub- 
ject to the commands of a tyrant." 
" Then," said he, " if you are determined 
to return to the world, you may go to ru- 
in there for all I can do; and rely upon it, 
you will shed tears of blood in conse- 
quence of the step you have taken, if you 
do not repent and confess all at the secret 
tribunal of God." I told him I should 
confess to none but God, and that my 
conscience prompted me to do as I had 
done. He asked me if I would go with 
him to the Superior, as she wanted to see 
me. I replied, ;i No, I will not, for I be- 
lieve you or any other Catholic would (if 
directed) tike my life, were it in your pow- 
er, as truly as I believe I am living, and ] 
will not trust myself in your clutches 
again." x\t these words he turned pale, 
and asked me what I had seen or heard at 
the Convent that made me think so. I 
r^fu^M to sav nmrp. and retired at his 



IN A CONVENT. 183 

exclamation that it would be death to me. 
Mrs. G. endeavored to console me with 
the assurance that he meant right, and 
that it would, they feared, be death to my 
soul. 

Mrs. G. afterwards accused me of endea- 
voriug, at the time of my escape, to induce 
Sister Bernard to leave the Convent. The 
Superior sent me some articles of wearing 
apparel, which for z. time I was obliged 
to accept. My sister called; she had been 
at the Convent, and was informed that I 
was at Mrs. G.'s. She was overjoyed to 
see me, but much grieved because (as 
she thought) I had refused to see her 
at the Convent. I endeavored to calm 
her, and promised to explain all another 
time, assuring her my affection was not 
diminished, and that I should soon visit 
her. I did not then explain to her the 
manner of my leaving the Convent. It 
being late in the evening, she soon re- 
turned home. The Misses K. also called, 
and by their conversation I feared they 
would inform my father of my situation, 



184 SIX MONTHS 

before I should be well and prepared to 
see him; and I did not wish to grieve him 
with a knowledge of what had taken 
place. Mrs. G. said she expected my 
father would rave at her for having ad- 
vised me as she had done, if he should 
find me at her house. 

A Catholic lady, who had stood my 
sponsor, and who brought a letter from 
Mary Francis,^ called, and conveyed me 
to her house in Charlestown, where my 
father and brother soon found me, and de 
sired I would return to my friends, which 
I did in the evening. Before leaving, 
however, I called on Priest B., and told 
him that I could never think of again 
attending the Romish Church, giving my 
reasons, and adding that I had been de- 
ceived in their religion, and in those who 
believed it; that I wished to take my 
leave of him, with the hope that he 
would not think I indulged any wrong 
feelings towards them, or that I desired to 

• This letter had been broken open. 



IN A CONVENT. 185 

injure the Romish Church, but sincerely- 
hoped they would reform. I told him this 
while he sat in the confessional. He re- 
mained unmoved, and would not allow 
that I had been treated ill. He said that 
I could not but know that the step I had 
taken would be a great injury to the 
Convent. I assured him that it was not 
to be charged to me, but to the Superior 
and Bishop, who by their conduct had 
compelled me to take that step. I also 
told him that I believed it had been his 
intention to deliver me again into their 
hands, but I had broken the chains which 
bound me, and felt free; and that I should 
always be thankful that I had delivered 
myself from the bondage of what I should 
consider to be a Romish yoke, rather than 
the true cross of Christ. 

After 1 had returned to my brother's, 
Mrs. G. sent to me by her little daughter 
some money, which she said I had given 
to the Superior. Five dollars of this sum 
and some wearing apparel I considered as 
8* 



186 SIX MONTHS IN A CONVENT. 

not my own, and sent them back with a 
note to Madam St. George, stating that I 
declined receiving any thing from them as 
presents, but if they would return what 
wearing apparel, &c. belonged to me, it 
would be properly acknowledged. 

And now I have endeavored, to the ex- 
tent of my ability, to give a true and 
faithful account of what fell under my 
observation during my sojourn among the 
Catholics, and especially during my resi- 
dence at the Monastery on Mount Bene- 
dict. And I leave it with the reader to 
judge of my motives for becoming a mem- 
ber of the Ursuline Community, and for 
renouncing it. 

If, in consequence of my having for a 
time strayed from the true religion, I am 
enabled to become an humble instrument 
"in the hands of God in warning others of 
the errors of Romanism, and preventing 
even one from falling into its snares, and 
from being shrouded in its delusions, I 
shall feel richly rewarded. 



LETTER TO IRISH CATHOLICS. 

{condensed from a boston paper.] 



I am told that it will be of no use to write letters to you, be- 
cause so mar»y of you cannot read. But there, are also many of 
you who can read. I write to them ,• and I hope they will read my 
letters to the rest. 

But why have you not been taught to read? You and your 
forefathers have had Roman Catholic Priests for a thousand yeara. 
What have they beep, doing ? Why have they not taught you, or 
taken #are to have you taught by others ? What have they dona 
with all the money which you and your fathers have paid them ? 
They have built splendid churches at Rome, and bought rich dresses 
for the Pope and Cardinals to wear, and gilded coaches for them 
to ride in. They have built, and are building, expensive colleges 
and schools, to instruct the children of rich Protestants, hoping to 
make Catholic Priests of them. Meanwhile, your children, and 
your father's children, and your grandfather's children, and your 
ether ancestors, have been left to get a little learning as you could, 
or grow up in ignorance. 

Is not this all true ? Only think how much money you have 
paid them yourselves. Do you know what they have done with 
it ? When a Protestant has given a man a dollar for some re- 
ligious purpose, he must show what he has done with it, or he will 
never get another. Is it so with you ? Do you know what your 
Priests do with all the money they receive from you? Have not 
you and your Catholic neighbors paid Vl 'em so much, that they 
might have taught you, and your neighbor,, and your children, to 
read ? If you and your ancestors, for five hundred years past, 
or two hundred years past, had been Protestant you would have 
been taught. 

Now, my friends, think, a little while, whether PrWs who have 
so shamefully neglected their duty are worthy of your Oafidence. 
You and your fathers have tried them for hundreds en' years. 
Have you not tried them long enough? Is it not time for you to 



188 LETTER TO, 



say your children shall be taught to read ? Is it not time for you 
to choose such schools for them as you find to be best 1 This is a 
free country. The Priests have no right to control you in the edu- 
cation of your children. 

Some of you do send your children to our public schools. The 
teachers tell me that they behave as well, and learn as fast, as 
any children under their care. I am glad to hear it. Your 
children, thus educated, will be intelligent and respectable. Some 
of them will be among our great men in another generation. If 
the Priests will furnish schools for your children which are as good 
as the public schools, you have a perfect right to send your 
children to which you please. But see to it that they go to good 
schools, — schools where they learn well. If you are determined 
to send them to such schools, probably the Priests will not object, 
for they know they cannot help themselves. Perhaps they will 
even encourage you. But whether they do or not, see to it that 
yotr children are well educated. 

Your Priests tell you, that the Roman Catholic Church is infalli- 
ble. Suppose it is so. How do you know what that church 
teaches ? Some three weeks ago a part of the doings of the Council 
of Trent, sanctioned by the Pope's Bull, were published. It w,n 
copied from a book published by Roman Catholics, and sanctioned 
by the Roman Catholic authorities in church and state. Yet the 
Catholic Sentinel calls it a " Protestant slander." Now, if such 
documents, so published, are not tote depended upon, how are we 
to know, or how can you know, what the Roman Catholic Church 
really teaches ? Especially, how do those of you who cannot read 
know what the church teaches ? 

Do you say, that your Priests tell you what the church teaches 7 
How do you know that they tell you truly ? How do you know 
that they do not deceive you ? How do you know that the PriesU 
themselves know what the doctrines of the church are 1 Do you 
believe that every Priest is infallible ? Martin Luther was once 
a Roman Catholic Priest. Was he infallible? Caivin, too, was 
once a Roman Catholic Priest. Was he infallible ? Mr. Samuel 
B. Smith, who is now publishing a newspaper, called '' The 
Downfall of Babylon," was a Roman Catholic Priest only some 
two years ago. Was he infallible ? If they were infallible, then 
they did right to leave the Roman Catholic Church. 

But you may be told, that these men were apostates — they left 
%he church, and became Protestants. True, they became Protes- 
tants. But if th«\ Roman Catholic Church had been right, and they 
when Priests had been infallible, they could not have left it. And 
then, think of Archbishop Fenelon. He did not leave the church. 
Yet he published a book, which the Pope condemned, and he con- 
fessed that it contained erroneous doctrines. Was ho infallible 
when he wrote that book? And was the Pope infallible \r*wn be 
condemned it ? And was Fenelon still infallible when Yt * *• ««i 
»he Pope in condemning it 1 



R^SH CATHOLICS. 189 



No, your Priests are not infallible. They may mistake. How 
do you know that those of them who teach you do not mistake ? 
How do you know that what they teach is the true doctrine of 
the church ? How can you know, unless you read the Bible for 
yourselves, and find that the Bible teaches the same doctrines ? 

Do your Priests ever tell you to pray to the Virgin Mary, the 
mother of our Lord Jesus Christ ? I suppose they do. You know 
whether they tell you so or not. How do you know that this is a 
doctrine of the true Catholic Church ? Do you say, that all Catho- 
lics practise it ? You mean, all Catholics with whom you are 
acquainted. Perhaps there are other Catholics who do not pray 
to her. How do you know ? Do your Priests tell you ? How do 
your Priests know ? And how do you know that they tell the 
truth ? 

I suppose that all Roman Catholics do pray to the Virgin Mary ; 
though I do not see how either you or I can know it infallibly. But 
I suppose that you pray to her here in Boston, and some of your 
friends pray to her in New York, and others in Pennsylvania, and 
others in Ohio, and others in Ireland, all at once. Now stop and 
think for a moment ; — can she hear you all at once ? When you 
pray to God, he can hear you, because he is an infinite Spirit, and 
is everywhere at the same time ; but Mary is not God. She is 
not everywhere at the same time. She cannot listen at once to 
a million of people, some here, and some three thousand, and some 
ten thousand miles off. When several people speak to you at 
once, you cannot listen to them all, and understand them all. And 
do you believe that Mary can listen to a million, who are all speak- 
ing at once, in different parts of the world, so as to know what they 
all say ? Do you say the infallible church teaches that she can hear 
them all ? How do you know that the church teaches it ? How do 
you know that your Priests tell the truth when they say the church 
teaches it? And how do you know that the church is infallible 1 
You have only the word of the Priests for it, and perhaps they mis- 
take. And if the true church is infallible, how do you know that the 
Church of Rome is the true church ? The Priests tell you so ; but 
they may be wrong. And besides, do you not see that Mary 
cannot listen to a million of prayers at once, so as to understand 
them all ? Do you not see that this must be an error ? Do you 
not see that, if the Church of Rome teaches this, it teaches what is 
not true ? 

If your Priests teach you to pray to Mary, they teach you 
wrong. God says, that " whoever shall call upon the name of the 
Lord shall be saved." Romans x. 13. He does not say that who- 
ever shall call on the name of Mary shall be saved. God teaches 
one thing, and your Priests teach another. 

I must say a few words to you about images. In the second of 
the ten commandments, God says, " Thou shalt not bow down 
unto them." Do you bow down unto them? If you do, you 



190 LETTER TO 

• 

disobey God. If your Priests teach you to bow down unto them, 
they teach you to break God's commandment. 

I could quote to you what Roman Catholic councils have de- 
creed, and what Popes have said on this subject; for I can read 
Latin as well as your Priests. But when I quote what Popes and 
councils say, the Sentinel calls it " ProtestaDt slander." Your 
infallible church has no infallible books, in which any one can infal- 
libly learn its doctrines ; at least, I cannot find any, which your 
Priests and editors will allow to be infallible. But no matter. I 
am writing to you, and you know whether they teach you to bow 
down to images or not. If they do, they teach you to do wickedly ; 
and if you follow such teaching, you offend God. 

Perhaps the Priests will tell you, that you do not worship the 
image, but only worship God by means, of the image. But take 
notice, God says, " Thou shalt not bow down unto them." Now, 
suppose you bow down unto an image for the purpose of worship- 
ping God ; still you break God's commandment ; for he says, " Thou 
shalt not bow down unto them." When God tells you that you 
must not do a thing, lie never sends Priests to tell you that you 
must do it. If any Priest tells you to bow down before an image, 
you must know by that that God did not send him. I have been 
told that Bishop Cheverus some years ago said, in one of his ser- 
mons, that you must have images, because you are so ignorant that 
you cannot worship without them ; and I have read the words of 
soma Popes and Bishops who speak in the same way. But is this 
true ? Did not God know whether you ought to have images or 
not. when he said, " Thou shait not bow down unto them ?" 

But can you not think of God when you do not see an image ? 
You know that you can. You can remember how kind he has 
been to you, in preserving your lives; in giving you food to eat, 
and raiment to put on ; and in giving his Son to die for you, that 
your sins may be pardoned. You can feel thankful to him for all 
his goodness. You can say, heartily, "O God, I thank thee for 
all thy goodness to me." You can wish him to continue to take 
care of you, and supply your wants, and forgive your sins, and 
help you to keep his commandments. You can think of God, and 
ask him to do all these things, without having an image to look at. 
You know you can. Do it, and that will be worshipping God 
without the use of an image. You know you can do it. 'You are 
not such great dunces as your Priests and Bishops pretend to think 
you are. You can worship God without an image ; and you can 
learn to worship him still better than you now can. 

Pe.aaps some of your Priests will tell you, that God has given 
no sucn commandment in respect to images. In some of their 
books, in which they pretend to give the whole of the ten com- 
mandments, th a y have left out the second, and divided the tenth 
into two, so as to make out the number. When the Protestants 
fgund it out, and told the public of it, the Priests had other editions 
of the same books published, with all the commandments in them, 



RISH CATHOLICS. 191 



S3 they should be. These they show, to prove that the story about 
their leaving out the second commandment is a " Protestant 
slander." Books of both kinds are still in circulation. I do not 
know which you have, or which your Catholic neighbors have. I 
mention it, that you may not be deceived if you happen to have 
one of the false books, or if you have a false Priest, who tells you 
there is no such commandment. 

Think seriously of these things. Pwemember God's command- 
ment, which forbids you to bow down before images. Worship 
him in your minds, by thinking of him and expressing your 
thoughts. Speak to him. Thank him for his goodness, and ask 
him for what you need. He will understand you. If yon mean 
honestly, he will know it, and will be pleased with your worship. 

You know whether your Priests tell you any thing about pur- 
gatory. You know whether you ever gave them any money to 
pray, or say mass, for the souls of your friends, who, you sup- 
posed, might be in purgatory. You know whether you ever gave 
them any money to pray or say mass for your own souls, when 
you are dead. You know, too, whether they ever told you to give 
money for such purposes. You know about these things. I do 
not ; but I suppose they teach you that there is such a place as 
purgatory. 

Now, how do they know that there is any such place? How 
did they find it out ? There is not one word about it in the whole 
Bible. God, in the Bible, has not told them that there is any such 
place. How, then, do they know that there is any purgatory ? 
Do they say, the church has decided it? How do you know thai 
the church has decided it? How do you know that it was not 
some false Pope, or some wicked, heretical council, that made 
that decision ? Do the Priests tell you J The Priests are not in- 
fallible. Perhaps they misinke. But if the church did make 
such a decision, how did the church know ? God did not tell them. 
We have all Gad's word in the Bible, and it says not one word about 
purgatory. 

How, then, do the Prieets know that there is a purgatory ? Have 
any of them ever been there ? No. Did they ever see any body 
that had been there ? I think they will not pretend that they have. 
The truth is, that there Is no such place. 

Do you ask me why they tell such a story ? You have a better 
opportunity to know than 1 have. You know whether they get 
any of your money by telling it. If they do, it may be that they 
tell it for the sake of getting your money. What would you think 
of any body else who should get away your money by telling you 
what is not true ? 

I do not mean to say that all your Priests know that there is no 
such place as purgatory. Perhaps some of them believe it; for 
some of them are very ignorant. After all the noise ihey make 
about their learning, some of them have only a littte Latin, which 
they have learned by heart without understanding it, and cannot 



192 LETTER, &C 



read a word of Greek or Hebrew. But if such ignorant Priests 
do believe it, that does not make it true. Our Savior tells you not 
to follow such blind guides, lest you both fall into the ditch. 

Perhaps you say you are a sinner, and unfit for heaven ; and 
ask what you shall do, if there is no purgatory, where you can 
suffer what yeu deserve, unless the Priest procures your release 
by saying mass for you. I will tell you. Go into your closet. Go 
into any place where you can be alone. There think of Christ. 
Remember the words of the holy Apostle, written in the Holy 
Scriptures, " the blood of Christ cleanseth from all sin." Think 
of Christ, who died for your sins. Believe that God is there, and 
can hear you. Think of your sins. Confess them, honestly, to 
God. Ask him to forgive you, for Christ's sake. Do not pray to 
Mary, or some other Saint. Do not ask any of them to intercede 
with God for you. Speak to God yourself. Tell him that you arc 
a sinner. Tell him all the truth about yourself. Ask him to 
forgive your sins. Believe that he is ready and willing to hear 
your prayer, and to forgive your sins, for the sake of his Son, who 
died to redeem you. If you "really feel sorry that you have sinned, 
and truly wish to serve God hereafter, he will accept and pardon 
you. Do not be afraid to speak to your heavenly Father. He 
loved you so much as to give his Son to die for you ; and will he 
not be pleased to hear your prayer and forgive your sins ? Cer- 
tainly he will. Go to him. Confess your sins to him. Ask par- 
don of him. He will forgive you. He will give you his Spirit, to 
lead you in the right way. When you die, he will not send you 
to hell, for you are pardoned ; nor to purgatory, for there is no such 
place ; but will take you to heaven at once. 



LIBRARY OF CONGRESS 






014 069 529 4 



